


Photos We Made

by LeAshe



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Bloodlust, F/M, Gore, Knifeplay, two psychos in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-27 00:39:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 56,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9942014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeAshe/pseuds/LeAshe
Summary: After finding a mall with a working carousel and rigged with amazing electrical feats, Negan meets the brain behind it all - 25 year old Lexa Sawyer. A game of cat-and-mouse ensues and she ends up working back at the Sanctuary. As the two grow closer, Negan discovers the large amounts of photos she has on the phone she still has working. What's in those photos will alter their relationship, and where Negan wants it to go. Will Lexa be able to keep herself from going back to those dark days in her past, or will Negan simply bring her back to the darkness with him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Those of you who read Electric Carousel will know that I wanted to rewrite this story. Finally finished the first two chapters and wanted to get them out to hopefully get your opinion on the changes I made. They're small, but detailed changes.

Negan wasn’t sure why Simon was having him drive out to the middle of nowhere on what was meant to be a simple run. All he knew was that he was just itching to bash the man’s face in with Lucille, who in his confusion-filled exit of out of the Sanctuary, he had left behind. Not because he forgot her, oh no, but because when he got the uninformative radio call from Simon, he was busy with one of his wives - with Lucille resting peacefully in his bedroom.

“I’m going to fucking run his stupid ass over when I get there.” He mumbled, wringing the steering wheel tighter. His other hand was out the open window, tapping the side of the black truck door.

After an almost two-hour drive, Negan pulled up to the old mall he had sent Simon and his new crew to earlier that morning. He parked alongside the other trucks and sat there, slightly fuming, while he composed himself. There was obviously a reason Simon wanted Negan to go out there himself, he just wished the man had better timing. When he finally decided to step out of the truck he noticed something peculiar about the mall. They knew hitting the mall might prove useless - it’s almost number one on most everyone’s ‘How to Survive the Apocalypse’ manual, but it had to be done at some point – especially with Hilltop coming up short. The Saviors were also aware that people were either going to have picked it clean, or were calling it home. Nothing they hadn’t dealt with before, he had told Simon before they left, just had to give them the usual show and offer a deal if possible. What they hadn’t expected, and what Negan assumed was the reason for Simon’s call, was for someone to have managed to power up the building. Including a small, lit-up carousel, spinning in the front entrance. Negan gave a slow whistle as he waltzed up to a tense-looking Simon.

“You know, I was gonna do some extremely unpleasant things to you when I got here, but damn! I’ve gotta hand it to you Simon, this is a great surprise! Wish you had told me it was a date.” Negan laughed loudly, slapping Simon on the shoulder.

Simon let out a nervous chuckle, “Well, it wasn’t the carousel that I called ya out here for, Boss. Obviously the place is powered up, and that probably means whoever did that is inside, and based on these defenses, they might need more than a show.”

Negan looked towards the direction Simon was pointing and saw the wires laid out around the doors to the building. He took a step closer and could feel the static in the air – the wires were live, and chances are, those doors would electrocute anyone who touched them. Smart. However, Negan had a feeling whoever the people were that were set up here didn’t want to fry their own brains, which meant they were protecting some very precious supplies inside this place if they went through all this trouble to rig up the joint. As he was getting ready to search for another doorway, he saw a sign switch on inside the mall. It was a bright read LED sign, and scrolling across it in capital letters were the words ‘FUCK OFF PLEASE.’ Negan chuckled at the gall of whoever this was. If these people could rig up an entire mall, he could only imagine what they could do at the Sanctuary. His place could definitely use a giant sign that told people to fuck off.

“I’m going to assume you checked all the entrances to this place right?” Negan asked, walking back towards the trucks with Simon in tow.

“Yes sir.”

“Well. Only one other way I can think of to get in this place.” Negan pulled out a tire-iron from the back of one of the trucks and placed it over his shoulder where Lucille would normally rest.

Negan made his way back towards the large glass window encasing the carousel, the static in the air making the hairs on his neck stand up. Behind him, Simon was already giving out orders to the men – breaking this much glass would cause a lot of noise.

“Here goes nothing, boys!” Negan called out before chucking the tire iron forward into the window. He backed up, avoiding the ricocheting shards of the glass.

A few men immediately made their way inside, with Simon and Negan trailing in behind them. The glass beneath his feet crunched as he stepped over the wall, making sure to avoid the wiring that had fallen onto the floor. As he got a better look at the ride in front of him, Negan found himself highly amused at the sight before him.

“Oh I like these people already.”

Attached to the horses and various seats of the carousel were the dead – some still moving, and others with knives in them. It would seem someone was using it as a moving target practice, but Negan was mostly trying to decide if he should start thinking of a way to move this whole damn thing back home because this was beautiful. Simon and the rest of the crew scattered ahead of him, checking for people and searching the stores while Negan took his time to walk around the mall. There was very soft, old rock playing throughout the mall which Negan began walking to the beat of. He was really hoping whoever was living here wasn’t an absolute moron because he really liked them so far. As he walked into what was once the food court he began to really take in the surroundings. There was no sign of a large group of people living in this mall. There was no trash, no beds anyways, nothing. The food court, which he assumed would be where he would find at least some form of living situation was again, empty. As he was beginning to put this information together, the sound of feedback came over the speakers and the music stopped. Then, like the angels themselves, he heard what he would consider the most beautiful sound he had heard all day – the sound of an angry woman.

“Well that wasn’t very nice of you, handsome. It’s going to take me a very long time to fix that.”


	2. Chapter 2

Negan made his way towards the security room, figuring that would be the place someone would make a mass announcement like that. Of course, whoever this chick was didn’t make that easy. Along the floor of the hallway leading towards the security office were tracks of electrical wiring. Carefully avoiding shocking himself, he finally made it at the door, busting it open flamboyantly.

“Aw shucks, and here I was getting all amped up to meet you.” Negan chuckled at his shitty pun.

Where he was expecting to see the woman behind the voice, he instead found a sheet of paper sitting on the desk in front of the microphone with the words ‘I thought I told you to fuck off. I even added a please to the end’ written on it. Just as Negan was about to begin searching the room he glanced up at one of the security monitors that she had somehow gotten to work. If she was the mastermind behind getting all of this tech to work, he definitely needed her back at the Sanctuary. In the corner of one of the screens was another LED sign in the front of one of the stores that simple read ‘too slow.’

“Playing hard to get, huh? Oh I like you already.” Negan huffed.

He quickly headed out of the room, careful to avoid the wiring again, and made his way towards the store with the sign. As he came around the corner he spotted it. It was an old record store with most of the records strewn about the floor – Negan made a mental note to come back here and pick up a few. He made his way to the sign left by the mystery girl and looked for any other clues as to where she headed off to. He could hear the rest of the crew combing their way through the mall, giving him time to continue this game. Just as he was about to start leaving the store he heard the familiar sound of feedback over the speakers again.

“You are a very persistent man. I like the jacket by the way.” The voice chuckled for a moment. “If you’re that desperate to meet me, considering you broke my front door, then head back to the carousel and I suppose we can chat.” There was a click, and then silence.

Negan closed his eyes, nodding as the smile began to form on his lips. He began to make his way back towards the carousel, his feet hitting the ground causing loud footsteps in his wake. He ran into Simon and the crew as they were putting the supplies from the stores in the food court. Simon had a look in his eye that asked if Negan wanted him to tag along, but Negan waved him off. He could handle one girl.

As he came around the corner, he heard the moaning of the dead, and the distinct sound of carousel music. When he approached he didn’t immediately see her but then he heard someone clear their throat above him and his eyes followed the sound to the top of the carousel. She was sitting on the edge of the top of the machine, her long legs crossed as she leaned forward and waved at him as the carousel continues to spin her around. He crossed his arms, waiting for her to come back around and when she did he took the time to really look at her. From what he could tell down on the ground, she was the prettiest thing he’d seen in a very long time – and that was saying something since he had five beautiful women waiting for him back home. When she directly in front of him she finally jumped down and Negan was able to see her properly. She was shorter than him, the top of her head reaching his chin, even in her boots which he could tell from when they were dangling in front of him, had a heel. She was wearing what appeared to be a pair of ripped of overalls the straps visible beneath the army green jacket tied around her waist. He followed the path up, appreciating the black, sleeveless, cropped turtleneck top she was wearing. When he reached her face, which was framed by curly black hair, he finally noticed her expression.

 “You just going to stare at me all day?” She crossed her arms, giving him a stern look.

“If you’d like, I certainly wouldn’t decline that offer.” He winked, a boyish grin pulling at his face. She tilted her head down, a smirk forming at the edge of her lips.

“Yes, I’m sure you’d like that. Except, I was hoping you could explain why all my stuff is currently being piled in my food court, and why you had to go and break a large, extremely difficult to replace, window?” She accentuated her question by gesturing her thumb back at the window behind her.

“Let’s get one thing straight missy – I ask the questions around here. And I think I deserve that, after being forced to play a game of cat and mouse, hm?” Negan stepped closer to her. She didn’t move back.

“Who set up all the power in this fucking place? And how?” He asked, staring down at her.

“I did. With solar panels I scrapped on the roof.” She began walking around the carousel, poking some of its dead passengers.

“By yourself? I couldn’t help but notice this place is lacking in the people department.” Negan watched her as she made her way around the ride.

She smiled, nodding in response. “Been here by myself for a while now. Why are you here?” She threw back at him.

He clicked his tongue. “I see that you don’t listen very well.” Negan gestured his arms around him. “We’re picking up supplies, obviously.”

“Well since you’re technically breaking and entering, don’t I have a say in the stuff you steal from me?” She quipped as she walked back towards him.

“That’s not how this fucking works, sweetheart. Though, we could come to some sort of arrangement, if you’d be so inclined?” He leaned forward, his face even with hers, as he watched her eyebrows raise.

From what he could tell, she seemed to be considering it. Didn’t really matter what she said, they were taking her stuff anyways, but he really wanted to bring her back with him. She seemed like she would make the perfect addition to his wives – he was missing someone who could match his humor.

“That depends. I don’t even know your name yet.” She crossed her arms, staring into his eyes.

“Right! Where are my manners?! I am the one, the only, Negan – leader of the Saviors.” He bowed flamboyantly, earning a chuckle from the girl before him.

“Well, Negan, I’m Lexa.” She held out her hand, which Negan grasped, pulling her in close.

“Now Lexa, I believe we have a deal to make.”


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa stared at Negan who was seated in front of her. The two had walked to a nearby bench to discuss the deal he suggested.

“You know, a deal usually benefits both parties. I mean, seems to me like I don’t really have much of a choice here, you’re going to take my stuff anyways.” Lexa crossed her legs and leaned against the back of the bench, arms crossed.

Negan huffed, placing an arm on the back of bench around her. “Pretty fucking much. To be honest it’s kind of a really fucking good deal, usually it’s much less civil and the people I make deals with usually don’t get to go WITH their stuff.” He stood up now, facing her. “So what do you say, doll? You come back to the Sanctuary with your shit, and you can live in a place where you can actually have something to do all day instead of just surviving.”

Lexa craned her neck to look him in the eyes, his height was the first thing she noticed when she saw him for the first time, but from this angle he was a giant. She could tell he was getting impatient since he was clenching his hands.

“So you’re saying I’d have a job?” She finally responded.

“Exactly. Just think, a whole factory for you to do all your sweet ass electrical shit in. We can always use more techy types.”

Lexa uncrossed her arms, the wheels in her head were spinning like crazy. Ultimately she felt she had no other real alternative, they were taking most of her stuff anyways whether she liked it or not. At least this way, she told herself, she wouldn’t have to try and scavenge replacements for them. Her head began to nod slowly, and Negan held out a hand when he realized she was going to accept.

“Well, I can’t think of anything better so, it looks like the Sanctuary just got itself a new electrician.” Lexa grinned, taking his hand in a firm handshake.

Before she could blink, Negan pulled her up off the bench and brought her in close to him. He leaned in, too close she thought, but a gentle hand on her back kept her from stepping away.

“Good choice, doll.” He whispered.

When he released her, Lexa just stood there for a moment, stunned. Negan laughed at this before making his way back towards the open window he made earlier. He grabbed a radio from one of his men stationed outside, letting Simon know they should start heading back to the trucks with whatever they had so far. He walked back to Lexa, who was still standing where he left her.

“Go grab your personal shit and meet us at the trucks.” Negan pointed back to the trucks behind him. “If you have any other weapons besides what we found, give them Simon, he’s the guy with the stupid mustache, hard to miss.”

“Wait, really?” She looked up at him, surprised. “Will I at least be getting them back at some point?” Negan could see her fidgeting with the harness that was strapped around her thigh, it looked like it held two knives which were currently not in their sheaths.

“Yes, really. And honestly? Probably not, but if you’re a good girl then we’ll see what we can do, alright?” Negan could see the doubt creeping behind her eyes, her fight or flight instincts seemed to be kicking in. He sighed. “Look, I get it. I just can’t have everyone carrying weapons around until I know they aren’t going to fucking go stab-crazy on everyone in the Sanctuary. I’ll let Simon know to keep them somewhere separate from the usual pile and when I’m ready to let you have them back, you can have them, alright?” Negan wasn’t usually this forgiving but, if she needed her weapons to go with him, then she could have her weapons if she played along. He just wanted to make sure he could keep seeing her.

Lexa nodded. Negan accepted that for an answer and walked back to the trucks, leaving Lexa to her thoughts. She sighed to herself - this was not how she saw her day going.

She made her way back to the breakroom she called home and grabbed as much as she could. She picked up her backpack and the duffle bag her and her old partner, Michael, used to use. Essentials, like clothes were grabbed first. She stuffed some canned food items and some snack bars she managed to find, hoping to keep them for herself after Negan had told her about the dining plans back at the Sanctuary – two meals at specific times was just not enough food for her, she thought. Next she grabbed her knives, she had left them in the breakroom when she heard the trucks pull up the first time. There were the two throwing knives which attached to her thigh holster, and the hunting knife she got from a store in the mall. She put the throwing knives in their sheaths, and the hunting knife in its holder on her backpack.

The last thing she grabbed was her phone. She never was that grateful when her father gave her the solar-powered charger before the world ended, but she was happy she kept it. Of course, she couldn’t make phone calls or do anything that required internet or data, but she had some games on it which had kept her sane for most of the beginning of this apocalypse. She mostly used it for photos. It was the one thing left in this world that she actually enjoyed. At first it was simply to document what was happening in the world, back when she was naïve enough to think that it would get better. But it didn’t, and so it became a hobby – taking pictures to remind herself that this is the world now.

After double checking the room, Lexa stood in the doorway, taking one last look at the place she had called home for the longest time. She pulled out a phone and snapped a photo of the room and then one of herself.

“Time for a new chapter in my life, I suppose.” She whispered as she turned off the lights and headed back to the trucks.

As Lexa finally reached the carousel, she took one last photo of it before unplugging it from the mainframe. An unnecessary step since the whole building was on a separate system, but it was the final nail in the coffin for her – she was really saying goodbye.

She stepped over the broken window pane, the glass crunching beneath her boot. The two men standing outside the window stared at her as she walked towards the trucks, towards the man she assumed was Simon.

‘ _Negan was right_ ,’ she thought to herself, ‘ _it is quite the stupid mustache.’_

After handing over her bags, and, much to her dismay, her knives, she heard Negan call her from another truck.

“Fucking finally! Come on, doll, it’s time to go.” He leaned over, opening the passenger-side door for her to enter.

Lexa jumped into the seat, buckling up which earned a chuckle from the man seated next to her. She gave him a thumbs up, letting him know she was ready.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” Negan smiled at her before leaning out his window. “Let’s go, boys!”

The other trucks quickly followed after theirs. With the sun beginning to set, Lexa decided it was the perfect time to pull out her phone and take a photo.

“Did you just take a fucking selfie?”


	4. Chapter 4

“You have a working phone?” Negan’s eyes were wide with confusion and the truck swerved to the right a little.

Lexa just turned her head slowly to look at him, still holding her phone up in front of her face. She chuckled as her lips formed a sheepish smile.

“Yes…I do.” She finally responded. She fumbled with the phone in her hands awkwardly. “I mean, can’t make any phone calls obviously, but it still has its uses as long as you can keep it charged.”

Negan glanced back over at her, then to her phone and back to the road, shaking his head slightly.

“I don’t even want to know how you fuckin managed that.” He said with a laugh.

Lexa grinned, fishing her charger out of her backpack between her feet. She held it out to him proudly. “It’s solar powered. My dad got it for me before everything went to shit.”

“Well I’ll be damned.” Negan checked it out, still trying to keep his eyes on the road. “That’s fucking handy.”

Lexa nodded, putting the charger back in her backpack. She wasn’t used to people catching her taking photos in such a long time. It felt weird having Negan see her taking them. She knew why, but she didn’t want to think about that at the moment.  

As much as she would have liked a nice, relaxing car ride after that, Negan apparently decided this was best time to ask her all of his questions. At first it was the normal questions one asks when meeting someone knew in this world – where she came from, what she did before, and getting to know her capabilities. Then the questions got more specific.

“So I gotta ask. How in the hell did you not only manage to take the mall, but maintain it, power it, and keep it to yourself this whole damn time?” He glanced over at her briefly, his gloved hand tapping on the wheel to the music he had playing.

“I mean, the story isn’t that thrilling. And it’s also not as exciting as you might think.” Lexa chuckled to herself. “You sure you wouldn’t rather enjoy this lovely drive?” She picked up her feet, sitting cross-legged in the seat.

Negan just stared at her. His facial expression told her that he did not, in fact, want to just enjoy the drive. He nodded for her to continue as he turned his face back. Lexa sighed and began tell him what he wanted to hear.

///

_“It’s got to be filled with the dead ones, Michael. We won’t make it ten feet in the door before we’re overwhelmed.” Lexa whispered to the man crouched to her right._

_“Hey, you don’t give me enough credit, Lex. We’re going in there, and we’re going to finally have a place to call home.” Michael replied, staring at the dilapidated mall in front of them._

_“It’s a really frickin big building, it’s not going to be a simple clean out. Even if we did manage to empty it out, others will come, and then what? Two people against a group? In a big building?” She turned to face him, placing an arm on his bicep to make him look her in the eyes. “And what if one of us doesn’t make it?” She was silently begging him to return to their camp._

_The two of them had found the mall two weeks earlier on a hunt for food. Originally they were a group of four – Lexa, Michael, his brother Steven, and their friend Sarah. Michael had been the one to find Lexa trapped inside in old gas station a month after the initial outbreak. He brought her into their little group and they survived as a team for almost six months. It wasn’t easy, they tried teaming up with other survivors, even heard about a place that was still living the suburban lifestyle, but they never stuck around. However, six months after she initially joined them, when they were holding up in a new campsite, Steven and Sarah decided to go off on their own to have some alone time in the woods. They never did come back. It had been a little over four months with just Lexa and Michael when they found the mall._

_“Hey, we’re going to be okay. We’ve made it this far together. If we can secure this place and defend it, we’ll be more than fine, we’ll be living.” He squeezed her hand lightly before he began creeping towards the mall, taking out one of the dead nearby._

_Lexa silently began following Michael towards the entrance. She steeled herself for a fight, gripping her knife; it was going to take everything she had to clear this thing out._

_///_

“So wait, you and one other guy cleared out that entire god damned mall by yourselves? Bullshit!” Negan said incredulously.

“Yup. It wasn’t easy and I thought for sure I was going to die, but, somehow we did it. Whoever had lived in the mall before had managed to fortify most of the entrances to the place so it was really as crazy on the inside as we thought.” Lexa replied. She watch a smile grow on his face and caught herself smiling too when she saw his dimples.

“What happened to that Michael guy?” He asked. “Ain’t gonna have an angry boyfriend storming my house right?”

///

_The fight to the front door wasn’t easy. Lexa had developed some skill with a knife, but it didn’t make it any easier. Michael had a gun, but with their limited ammo, he didn’t want to risk wasting any – he opted for a machete instead. They worked well as a team, something they had developed since they had become a party of two. Any of the larger ones, Michael would take, and the smaller ones would be left to Lexa. They were fast, and precise._

_When they cleared enough to reach the doorway they ran inside, but before Lexa could make it fully in the door, one of the crawling ones had gripped her ankle causing her to fall. She frantically called out to Michael who was dealing with a dead one off to the side, kicking the crawler in the face with her other food. She was getting the attention of the remaining dead outside. She kicked harder, her boots slipping from the viscous fluids being emitted from the crawler’s body. She could hear Michael telling her to hold out just a little longer. Lexa could feel it pulling her, her jeans keeping its nails from digging into her ankle thankfully. Just as she felt tears forming in her eyes she heard the distinct squelch of a machete going through the head of the creature._

_She crawled away quickly. Her back bumped into a nearby bench and she pulled her legs up into her chest, watching Michael kill any dead ones that had come to the door before securing it with a nearby concrete, plant pot. He made his way back towards her and immediately got on the ground, pulling her into a hug. It wasn’t her first brush with death, they both knew that, but it brought back the memories of the day they first found each other in that gas station so long ago._

_“Hey, we did it, Lex. We did it.” He smoothed her hair down as he calmed her._

_Three weeks had passed since they first made their grand entrance into the mall. Whoever was there before them had taken most of the essential supplies, but there was still enough to live on for the time being. They had secured one of the break rooms to be their sleeping and living quarters, bringing in old mattresses from one of the department stores._

_Lexa, ever the tinkerer, had managed to get the water pump working again in one of the employee shower rooms. She had just got back from a shower when she found Michael in the breakroom, counting their supplies again. She shook out her hair before coughing, letting him know she was there._

_“No matter how many times you count it, the number isn’t going to go up, you know?” She said matter-of-factly._

_Michael laughed, running a hand through his hair. Lexa found herself blushing, suddenly aware of how intensely he was staring at her now that she was freshly cleaned. He wasn’t extremely handsome, but Lexa did find him attractive. It was hard not to form a bond with someone when it’s only you two living and working together for so long. She cleared her throat and shook the thoughts from her head._

_“So, I was thinking. The mall has a pretty hefty generator, and if we can find some sort of power supply – maybe some solar panels or something, I could totally right this place up with power.” She said giddily. She sat next to him on the table. “We could really set this place up for long term living.”_

_He seemed to thinking it over, his leg bouncing on the floor. “That would be pretty great. Definitely wouldn’t be easy to find something like that though, especially something that could actually manage to still draw power. But, now that we’ve got a place to actually settle down in, we might as well give it a shot.” He smiled at her._

_She wasn’t sure how she felt about his use of the words “settle down.”_

_///_

“After like, two months of searching, we managed to scrounge up enough parts for me to rig up some panels. One day, while I was up on the roof setting up a new batch of panels, Michael went out on his daily patrols. He, uh, he didn’t make it back that day.” Lexa said quietly, fidgeting with her phone.

Negan glanced at her hands and then her face. He guessed that he wasn’t getting the full story, but he didn’t press it. Whoever this Michael was, he thought, his death clearly bothered her. “I’m sorry about that, doll.” He said.

“Thank you.” Lexa hummed. “It’s been almost a year now since we found that mall. I’ve had time to put it behind me, but it still isn’t a fun memory.”

She looked back over at Negan who glanced at her. He wasn’t giving her a look of pity, which she appreciated. He gave her a quick nod, ending the conversation.

Lexa looked out the window and the forests that were once lining the road were now becoming sparse. There were abandoned industrial buildings and shacks now instead of trees. She could see the other trucks ahead turn down a back road, and as her and Negan came around the corner she saw the factory in front of her.

She stared at it in awe. It wasn’t a pretty building, but it looked well-fortified. Negan was clearly very proud of what he had been able to accomplish, and she could tell why. She couldn’t wait to see what sort of electrical rigging this place had. As she got closer to the gate could see the bodies of the dead attached to the fence and people in sweats rounding up others. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but she got what they were trying to do. She just didn’t understand the sweats. As they passed through the gate she could see signs of life around her. There were people hanging laundry outside, actual children playing in the yard. She could spot what looked like a garden on the edge of the building. Negan pulled his truck up next to the others who were already beginning to unpack all of the stuff from the mall. She stepped out of the truck, crunching on the gravel beneath her boot. Negan walked up next to her, leaning on the front of the truck and gesturing widely at the grandiose building in front of them.

“Welcome to the Sanctuary.” He grinned widely, his dimples prominent and showing off teeth that were unfairly white for the world they lived in.

“This place is amazing.” She finally said, staring up at the building. She heard Negan laugh before reaching back into the truck to grab her backpack.

“Hell yeah it is!” Negan responded, watching her pull her phone out and snap a photo of the factory. Negan rolled his eyes.

“Let’s get you inside.” Negan began walking towards what she assumed was the front door. He called back towards the other guys in the trucks. “Good job today boys!”

Lexa slowly trailed behind him, watching this interesting man ahead of her. She didn’t know how to respond to the feeling that was blooming in her chest, but the power he held over everyone here was obvious. Everyone he walked passed dropped to their knees at the sight of him. It was confusing, but she had to admit to herself, it was a really attractive quality.

When she first saw him pull up at the mall, she’d be blind to not notice how handsome he was – despite the obvious age difference between them. That’s why she bothered to meet with him in the first place and played her little game of cat and mouse instead of just hiding somewhere in the mall. When they finally did talk face-to-face, and he stared at her for the first time, it was different than it was with Michael. With Michael it was a relationship built on mutual survival, but this, this was pure attraction. Unlike before, she knew Negan was handsome – and he knew it too. She’d be daft not be drawn to him, but she didn’t know him. And didn’t know her.

“Hey, hurry the fuck up!” He yelled from the door, pulling her out of her trance.

She snapped to attention before running to catch up. As the door closed behind her and she entered her new home, she didn’t know what the future would hold.


	5. Chapter 5

The long, gray corridor echoed with three sets of footsteps as Lexa, Negan, and Simon traversed towards the electrical room in the Sanctuary. Negan had instructed another of his men – Dwight, Lexa learned – to take her bags to her new room.

“So, down this LOVELY fucking hallway is where you’ll be reporting in for work. You’ll get your actual schedule and shit when you’re settled in. George is the main guy down here, but everyone pretty much does their own thing. You’ll get most assignments from him. Any questions so far?” Negan asked without turning back to look at her.

“What if I have any ideas I want to do with the Sanctuary like I did with the mall?” She already had a few ideas brewing in her mind.

“Well, in that case, come visit me and we can talk it over.”

Lexa huffed in acknowledgment as they rounded the corner of the hall. Negan opened the set of metal, double doors in front of them and ushered Lexa in before following, Simon trailing behind him. The room was a decent size, not too cramped but no large open spaces either. There were three floor-to-ceiling shelves of various boxes and containers in the middle of the room. She could see spools of wire poking out of some boxes, and tools in others. Simon began walking around to the back of the room to find George.

Lexa took the time to run her hand over a workbench against the wall near the entrance. The desk was metal and cool to the touch, and Lexa smiled as the feeling brought back memories of her father’s old workshop.

“Like what you see?” She heard behind her. When she turned around, Negan was leaning against the door frame and gesturing around him. A part of her thought that he might actually be talking about himself.

“It’s amazing.” She smiled at him and he responded in kind. “I only had basic supplies at the mall and doing what I did there was hell with what I had on hand. There’s so much possibility here!” She looked around the room excitedly.

“Well, I’m glad I could make you fucking smile. Just remember, all this shit ain’t easy to come by so don’t go getting all crazy and using it all up. You use up extra and it comes out of your points.” He said matter-of-factly.

He had explained the way the Sanctuary’s point system worked on the way in. Lexa had thought it was actually a pretty good system. She was amazed that it actually seemed to work so well, but at the same time she figured you have to work with what you’ve got. She began fiddling with a container of nuts and bolts when she heard a door open near the back.

“Ah, and here’s the man of the hour. Took your fucking sweet time didn’t ya!” Negan said as he stepped away from the door. “George, I would greatly appreciate it if you gave this lovely lady a rundown of how all this shit goes down in here. When they’re done, Simon, give her the grand tour.” Simon nodded silently. “I’ve been away from Lucille for far too long!” Negan added before exiting the room, giving Lexa a wink on the way out.

Negan had gushed about his bat, Lucille, on the drive over. Lexa laughed at the idea of him naming his bat, but the look Negan gave her was enough to shut her up.

“You must be the new girl Simon told me about, Lexa, right?” George held out his hand.

Lexa gripped it tightly, giving him a firm handshake. His hands were rough. “Yes sir, looking forward to working with you.” He laughed at this.

George was an older fellow, not much older than Negan was, Lexa guessed. He was about the same height as her and wore dingy coveralls which did nothing to hide his beer-belly. His hair was hidden under a baseball cap but there were tufts of brown poking out from under it.

He gave her an overview of how her work schedules would go. She’d come in every other day to the workshop, switching out with another person. On the days she worked, she’d have a list of requests from around the complex to work on. She didn’t have to do all of them, as some would take longer than others. If she had free time, then she was able to come down to the workshop and had free reign to work on whatever she wanted – so long as it was something that was already on the large board of pre-approved projects. When her shift was up, someone else would come to take over. After giving her a brief rundown of where everything was located in the shop and asking about her previous experience, it was time to leave. Simon was already looking at the door, looking more impatient as time dragged on.

“I should probably be going. It was very nice meeting you George and I look forward to working with you. I’ll see you in two days.” Lexa gave him another handshake before walking towards Simon.

“Sorry for taking so long. I haven’t been around this much electrical supply in years.” She muttered.

Simon shrugged. “It’s all good. I was the same way when I saw the garage.” She smiled up at him. “Well, let’s this tour started then, shall we?” He finally added after they made it back to the main entry way.

The electrical room was off the right of the main entryway. The only other rooms in that direct were the maintenance bay where the garage was located, and one of the janitorial rooms. There was also a stairwell which led to the floor above. Simon led her into one of two large rooms directly in front of the entrance, the room to the right was first. It looked like a trading room, or a marketplace. The space was taller than it was wide and that helped make the room feel less cramped. There wasn’t much light pouring into the room but Lexa could still make out the various people and stalls in the room. There were older women, men, and some children running about. There seemed to be an argument going on in the far corner.

“This is where you’ll get most of your shit.” Simon leaned down so she could hear him over the noise. “All the points you earn from working get tallied up and sent to the vendors here so they’ll know if you can actually afford whatever it is you’re gonna get. For now, let’s get you your basics since we’re here.” Lexa nodded.

They went to a stall that was off to the side, away from the others. Lexa assumed it was because it was meant for the new people, so others wouldn’t get the supplies meant for them. When they got there, Simon talked with the young woman running the stall, gesturing back to Lexa who was standing behind him. Eventually the girl came back with a draw-string bag, inside which was a change of basic sweats, a towel, and toiletries. Simon handed it to her, and before they walked out she thanked the woman.

As they exited the shop area, Simon opened up the door leading to the other large room. This one was the same size as the other but empty, save for a few Saviors walking around. On the back wall was what looked like to be a large oven. Throughout the room were tires, some chairs, and boxes I various places. Along the opposite side of the wall with the oven was a metal staircase and Lexa followed it up to a platform above her head.

“Usually this room stays empty or the Saviors meet up here before heading out. However, if you ever hear about any meetings, speeches, or punishments, this is where you’ll go as well.” Simon began heading back towards the door.

“Punishments?” Lexa asked.

He looked back at her and she could tell he was thinking about what to tell her.

“If there’s one thing you can learn about Negan, it’s that he doesn’t like rule-breakers. Anyone threatens the security of the Sanctuary, or anyone breaks the rules, there’s a punishment for that. And in order to get the point across for people not to do it again, they’re public.” Lexa nodded slowly. “He also doesn’t take too kindly to men around here mistreating women, so if anyone ever gives you any problems, you let me or him know and he’ll deliver punishment on that immediately.”

“Got it.” She gave him a smile before following him out the door. She wondered what the punishments were.

When they entered the main entrance again, they headed down the final corridor off to the left. There was another stairwell on this side and two sets of double doors. The first doors they entered were to the infirmary where Simon introduced her briefly to Dr. Carson. The other set of doors were currently propped open. Lexa could smell food coming from inside the room. Inside, the room was as big as the other two rooms, but the roof was slightly lower. There were long, communal tables and chairs throughout the dining area and she could see the kitchen in the back with workers prepping for dinner tonight. Simon walked her over to the kitchen area where she would pick up her food and mark off her points. There were two designated meal times – breakfast between seven and nine, and dinner between five and seven. Lunch was left up the individual to acquire. She could see a clock on the back wall which told her there was still two hours before dinner would be ready, she was glad she grabbed those snack bars from the mall.

The two exited the kitchen and headed up the flight of stairs just outside. The second level consisted of a long hallway with various rooms jutting out on each side. They entered the first room the right.

“This is where you’ll go after your shifts end to put in your points. You can also come here and check how many you have if you don’t feel like keeping track yourself.” Simon told her.

There were two people behind a counter and a large binder in the middle of them. Simon went up to the counter to set up her first batch of points, leaving Lexa to stand back awkwardly.

“Negan’s being generous and starting you out with a thousand points. Don’t spend it all at once, alright?” He motioned for her to follow him back out in the hallway. She did, but not without waving goodbye to the two workers.

“Is there a reason I’m getting so many points? Seems a bit unfair.” She asked him.

He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “I assume he likes you. He has a way of being extremely generous to pretty women.” Lexa blushed but didn’t say anything after that.

Simon continued walking her down the hallway, explaining that the second floor was mostly living areas for some of the families, and a few common rooms to hang out in. There were also a shower room on one end of the hall, and bathrooms on the other. If you weren’t staying with any of the families on this floor, you were usually in the smaller barracks and sleeping areas located throughout the factory and around it. When they reached the third floor, she noticed it was significantly quieter on this level.

“This floor is mostly reserved for the Saviors themselves if they want actual rooms instead of the barracks, and other high-rankers like Dr. Carson – though, he usually just sleeps in the infirmary.” Simon added. “I’m down at the other end of the hall if you ever need anything and Negan can’t see you at the moment. Other than that, this is your room.” He motioned towards a room near the staircase they just came up.

“Wait, I’m staying on this floor?” Lexa stuttered. “But I just got here.” She mumbled to herself.

“Hey, like I said, I don’t make the rules. Negan said you’re on this floor, and so you’re on this floor. Speaking of which, Negan’s room is on the floor above us in the room at the very end. Make sure you knock before you go in, usually he doesn’t take too kindly to random visits, but I have a feeling he won’t mind if they’re from you.” Simon hinted, raising an eyebrow at her. Lexa began fiddling with the straps of her backpack.

“The only other people on that floor are his wives, so don’t go knocking on any other doors alright? Last thing you wanna do is piss one of them off.” Simon added before fishing out keys to unlock her door.

“Wait, wives? He’s married? To more than one?” Lexa gaped.

Simon just looked back at her with his eyes wide. “Uh, yeah. Guess he skipped over that part. You can ask him about it yourself, it would probably be easier that way.” He looked like he was going to say something else but decided not to, instead he opened the door to her new room.

It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t roomy either. She found it comfortable though. The walls were bare and dingy, the bed looked a little worn down and the furniture that was there had definitely seen better days, but it was better than nothing. Her duffle bag was already laying on her bed, just as promised. She set her backpack and her bag of basics on the bed before turning back to Simon who handed her the key to her room.

“Try not to lose this, they’re a pain in the ass to recreate.” He told her.

“Gotcha. Well, thank you very much for the tour, Simon. It was a pleasure to hang out with you, even if it wasn’t very long.” She smiled at him, holding out her hand. He returned the smile and gave her a firm hand shake.

“Look, about the wives thing. Basically, there are some women here who would rather not worry about working for points. If Negan happens to take a liking to a woman, he gives them the option of either continuing to work for points to survive, or they can become his wife and not have to worry about needing points for anything. None of them are forced to do anything they don’t want to do.” He rubbed his face with his hand. “I’m going to be honest with you, you’re a beautiful woman. It’s most likely the reason Negan’s got you on this level and gave you all those points. It’s more than likely that he’s going to wait for you to decide if you want to continue working for points before asking you to join his wives. Just know that you do have the option to say no, and he will accept that for an answer, alright?” Simon looked at her various seriously, making sure she understood.

“Thank you, Simon.” Lexa stared up the man who nodded at her before leaving the room.

When the door closed, she stood there, taking in her situation. There was a lot to process. She sighed to herself, pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind and opted to start unpacking her belongings, first hiding her snacks under her mattress – you never know who will come sneaking around, she thought. As she was putting away the final pieces of clothing in her new dresser, she heard a quick knock at the door before it swung open. Standing in the doorway with what she could only assume was Lucille herself, was Negan. She wasn’t sure if she should kneel like she saw everyone else do when she arrived, instead she simple smiled at him and continued to fold the last shirt in her hand.

“Simon told me you were finally done with the tour. So, what you’d you think of the place?” He was leaning against the now closed door.

Lexa closed the drawer and leaned back against it. “Eh, it was okay. I mean, really? Running water? A marketplace? Seems a bit much don’t you think?” She teased, the sarcasm dripping from her speech.

He barked a laugh. “Knew I fucking liked you! But seriously, what’d you think?”

“Honestly, this place is pretty nice. It’s weird being surrounded by so many people after being on my own for so long, but, I’m sure I’ll get over that eventually.” She moved to sit on the edge of her bed.

She sat there for a minute, neither of them saying anything. She could feel him staring at her, waiting for her to break the silence. Remembering that Simon had said she should ask Negan about the wives thing, she figured now was as good of a time as any to bring it up.

“So, Simon mentioned something earlier.” She said, leaning back on her hands. “Something about you having multiple wives?”

Negan stared at her, obviously not expecting her to ask that. “What part of ‘grand tour’ did he fucking miss?” He rubbed a hand through his beard before setting Lucille down on the ground next to the door.

Lexa chuckled. “He explained the basics, but said I should ask you about it myself.”

“Did he now?” Negan huffed, and without asking, sat down on the bed next to her.

He explained what Simon had said, but she noticed he was choosing his words carefully, as if trying very hard to act like he wasn't selling the idea to her. She figured it was because of what Simon had said – that he would probably ask her eventually.

“I hope it doesn’t change your view of me.” He let out a deep breath.

Lexa stared at him wide-eyed and then began giggling. Negan looked confused at first but then that turned to annoyance.

“I’m sorry.” She said after calming her laughter. “You just didn’t exactly peg me as the kind of guy who would be able to settle down with one woman. I mean, you have people here actually kneel at your feet when you pass them. Honestly I’m just surprised that you’re able to handle so many women at once. It sounds exhausting.” She added, assuring him she wasn’t mocking him.

That seemed to be the right thing to say as she saw him smile, bringing those dimples she found herself loving, into view.

“I’ll have you know I’m definitely able to handle that many women.” He winked before getting up off of the bed and walking back towards his bat. She stood up as well.

“Well, I’d say that’s enough talking for one afternoon, right? I’ll see you around, Sparky.” He opened the door.

“Sparky?” Lexa laughed at him, confused.

“You know, because of all the electrical shit you like. It fits.” He nodded to himself, obviously proud of having come up with the nickname.

Lexa simple stared at him, smiling as he exited the room. This day just kept getting stranger and stranger.


	6. Chapter 6

The next two months of her time at the Sanctuary proved to be an easy transition for Lexa. Working in electrical was the smoothest transition. Along with George, there were two others who worked in the office – Jordan and Millie. Jordan was twenty five, the same age as Lexa, and the first person she befriended in the office. He showed her the ropes of where the usual problems occurred in the factory and was usually the person who picked up her shift. Millie was slightly older, Lexa had never asked but she assumed she was in her late thirties. She picked up the early morning electrical shifts and in the afternoon helped out with the dinner shifts since they tended to get very busy. The original three quickly accepted her into their ranks and the four had formed their own little family down in the electrical room. Lexa very much enjoyed the time she was able to spend there.

Her situation with Negan, however, was even more interesting. She never intended to spend one afternoon a week in his office drinking booze, and yet, that’s where she was currently headed. It had all started after her first official week at the Sanctuary had concluded. Negan had come to check in on her - something she learned was not normal for him to do. That first afternoon was spent mostly with her awkwardly putting down his offer to join his wives. He wasn’t upset though, he knew she loved her job. Lexa had told herself that she wouldn’t let herself give up the one thing she loved doing in order to be with a man she still barely knew.

Despite that, she found herself yearning to see him as often as she could. This made his offer of meeting with her at the end of each week much easier to accept. The two tended to use their time for serious discussions, but at the end of the night it usually ended with them chatting about their lives before the world crumbled, and a bottle of bourbon. Lexa found herself growing closer to Negan. She learned more about the man himself instead of just the man she heard about. She knew he had a darker side, you’d have to be blind to not see that, but she didn’t let that change her thoughts. It didn’t matter if she thought his decisions were cruel – Negan would do whatever Negan wanted to do.

And so, it was now the end of yet another week at the Sanctuary, and Lexa was already making her way up the stairs to meet with the man of the hour. Negan had missed last week’s meeting since he was out with the Saviors, and Lexa took the time to use some extra points to make him something. She honestly didn’t know why she made him a gift, but she tuned out her brain when it tried to tell her it was because of feelings.

She continued down the hall until she reached the door she had become all too familiar with. She gave three quick knocks and waited for a response. Instead of hearing the lovely voice of Negan, she instead heard what sounded like something clattering on the ground and muffled cursing. She laughed to herself as she slowly opened the door.

“Did I scare the big, bad, Negan?” Lexa asked as she closed the door behind her.

Negan looked up at her from the floor where he was squatting to pick something up off the floor.

“Don’t you say a fucking word to anyone, got it?” He growled back to her. She nodded, biting her lip to stifle a laugh.

She placed her bag down on the coffee table as she made her way over to where he was. In front of Negan, on the ground, was a spilled box that had apparently been filled with records.

“No way!” Lexa smiled excitedly at him. “You went back to the mall and grabbed them?!”

He grinned back at her as she sat down next to him, skimming through the pile.

“Stopped on the way back. Was hoping it would make up for missing our date last week.” He added with a wink.

Lexa glared at him playfully, raising an eyebrow, but she didn’t correct him on using the word “date.” She would allow him to be smug this one time, even if she would never hear the end of it.

The two had gone through his collection of music fairly quickly after discovering they had the same taste in music. When she was done looking through the spilled pile, she helped Negan place them back in the box before getting up to grab her bag.

“I also got you something. Though, it’s definitely not as cool as new music.” She told him to close his eyes and after giving her a glare, he finally obliged.

 She reached into her bag, grabbing the item and began walking towards his desk. She attached the battery pack to it, making sure it was working. She glanced back at Negan who looked to be growing more and more impatient as she dragged on.

“Alright, it’s on your desk.” She finally said, a smile to her words.

“Please, PLEASE, tell me that when I open my eyes you’re gonna be sitting on my desk naked.” Negan grinned widely, his dimples becoming very prominent.

She quickly whacked his arm lightly before his eyes opened. She stood in front of his desk with a stupid grin on her face and her hands pointing towards a neon sign sitting on the edge of his desk which said in bright, red letters “FUCK OFF.”

“Well hot damn! That is fucking sweet, doll!” Negan barked a laugh as he walked up his desk, admiring its new addition.

“Why thank you. You have no idea how difficult it was finding all the letters I needed for this thing.” She let out a deep breath, remembering the hours she spent digging through the piles of parts.

Negan smiled at her and Lexa couldn’t help but feel butterflies form in her stomach at the sight. Before the silence could drag on, Negan made his way towards his liquor cabinet. Lexa instinctively went over to the part of his room that could be considered his living room. She grabbed two glasses and sat on the black couch. Negan was quickly sat next to her, an almost empty bottle of bourbon in hand. They were going to need more soon.

“Shall we get this fucking party started then?” He grinned widely, like a frat boy. Lexa simply shook her head, trying to contain her laughter.

He poured them both a drink and they quickly got busy on catching up. After about two drinks in, Negan suddenly got up off the couch, leaving Lexa to admire him removing his leather jacket before heading over to his record player. She instantly got excited and went to fill up her glass again – she wasn’t working tomorrow so what’s the harm she thought. She heard him place a record in, just as she was putting the bottle back on the coffee table. As the music began to fill the room, she quickly recognized the familiar tune.

“No. Freaking. Way!” Lexa jumped off the couch. “How did you find this one?!” She smiled excited at a laughing Negan. She made her way towards him, singing along.

_Well she’s all you’d ever want_

_She’s the kind I like to flaunt and take to dinner_

_But she always knows her place_

_She’s got style, she’s got grace, she’s a winner_

Tom Jones was one of her favorite singers, and Negan knew it. She tried, and failed, to get Negan to join her in dancing but the man was reluctant and instead continued watching from the couch – despite her pouting. She danced her way back towards the open area of the room, using her hips to attempt to persuade him into joining her. She knew it was the drinks influencing her, but she made no attempt at stopping herself. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for the change this night might bring to their relationship, but for now she simply wanted to live in the moment.

/// Negan’s POV ///

_She’s a lady_

_Oh, whoa, whoa, she’s a lady_

_Talkin’ about that little lady_

_And the lady is mine_

Negan had to admit, he really wanted to get up and join her. Only for the opportunity to get close to her, very close. However, watching her ass sway back and forth was one hell of a sight, and he was enjoying every moment of it from the comfort of his couch. But, he knew this moment would probably never come again for a very long time and decided to say “fuck it” and see where the night led him. He hoped it would lead the perfectly good bed just a couple feet away. He took one last swig of his drink before getting up. He made his way up behind her, just as she was getting into the middle of the song, and placed his hands on her hips. He quickly realized that it probably wasn’t a good idea to sneak up on an already-tipsy girl who was still holding a drink, as she proceeded to jump and spill it all over herself. He also couldn’t stop himself from busting out laughing, earning him a very deadly glare from the lady.

“You didn’t have to sneak up on me like that, ya jerk!” She said, staring at the growing stain on her shirt.

“Look, I couldn’t NOT take the fucking opportunity, alright?” He finally stopped laughing and turned off the music. “Besides, it’s payback for you scaring me when you first got here.”

Negan grabbed the glass from her hands and could see the blush forming on her face. She was probably going to leave, and mostly likely not come back for the rest of the night – and that was something he did not want to happen. Before she could speak he took the opportunity to come up with an idea to keep her with him and hopefully speed up whatever they had going on between them.

“Now, don’t let it be said that I’m not a fucking gentleman alright?” Lexa glanced up at him. “Don’t give me that look. Come on, you can use my shower alright?” He motioned for her to follow, grabbing one of his shirts for her on the way over.

Lexa just stood there for a moment. She obviously wasn’t expecting him to say that and Negan was glad he could throw her off guard. He tossed a towel at her, snapping her out of her thoughts. He saw her admiring the softness of it before making her way over.

“Right, yeah. Um, thank you, Negan.” She said sincerely as she passed him into the bathroom.

The door shut behind her and Negan made his way over to his desk and sat down. He heard the shower kick on and began admiring the sign she had made him. He honestly thought it was awesome and he couldn’t wait to pull it out when he didn’t want to talk to someone anymore. He leaned back in his chair, accidently kicking Lexa’s bag which was sitting on the edge of the desk next to his feet. Negan was many things, and being nosy was one of those. He picked up the bag and began rummaging through it. Sadly he found that her jacket was the only thing shoved in there, mostly likely being used to protect the neon sign. He was about to put the bag back, out of annoyance, when he saw a glint of something shiny in one of the pockets of the jacket. He reached in and pulled out her phone. In the time that they had been spending together she had shown him quite a few of the photos. But he had to admit, it was too tempting NOT to look through the ones she refused to let him see.

He placed the bag back on the ground, swiping the screen to unlock it. She never bothered to put a lock on it. After finding his way to her photos he noticed she had quite a few different albums. There was one labeled “before,” which he knew was filled with photos of her family and friends before the world fell apart. There was a “scenery” album which was just as the name suggested, and another labeled “people” which was filled with photos of people she had met during her travels. Now it was filled a bunch of people from the Sanctuary. However, there were two albums that caught his eye, “kills” and “never again.”

“Jackpot.” He smiled to himself as he opened the “kills” folder.

He knew from their chats that she wasn’t a bad fighter or afraid to take down some dead if needed, even if he hadn’t seen it first-hand. He also knew that she hadn’t killed in a while, she had told him. As he scrolled through the photos in the “kills” album, he got an idea as to why. In the first quarter of the photos it seemed she was documenting what was happening around her. However, eventually the photos took a different turn, and he had to admit, he was very happy he decided to be a nosy fuck now that he had found these. The rest of the photos in the album were taken months after the apocalypse began. There were photos of her before killing one of the dead – with the future victim right behind her. Then a photo of the dead one after she had killed it, sometimes posed but most of the time not. But there was always a photo that was taken after the fights – a selfie of her covered in the blood of the dead she had just taken down. Smiling. This was a Lexa he didn’t know, and she was downright terrifying and sexy at the same time. As the photos went on he saw a change in her, like she was enjoying the kill. He very much wanted to try and bring this Lexa back into the light.

Negan shifted in the chair. These photos were beginning to make it difficult to sit still. However, he sat stock still when he heard a noise from the bathroom. He listened in closely, realizing it was just Lexa singing. Normally he’d be pissed at someone wasting all of his water, but right now he was very thankful.

He opened the phone back up, leaving the current album and opening the one labeled “never again.” There were only ten photos in the album and he was curious about what could be so bad that they needed their own separate space. As the first picture pulled up, he immediately coughed and his eyes went wide at what he was seeing. The photo was obviously taken by someone else and he could also tell it was inside the mall. He figured the photographer was that Michael guy she told him about but that wasn’t important. He slowly scrolled through the next couple of photos. They were all of Lexa wearing mixes of frilly and lacy lingerie – some of which would put what he grabs for his wives to shame, especially on her body. The way she was staring at the camera made Negan desperate to get her into his bed, because god fucking damn, he NEEDED to see her make those expressions in person.

After five photos in, which he really wished he could keep for himself, his mood was shifted again. The next two photos were of who he assumed was Michael. In the first, he was face down on a carpet, blood pouring out of him in various areas of his body. In the second, it was the same set up, only this time there was a bloody knife in the foreground held by an equally bloodied hand. The next photo actually caused Negan to have to remind himself to breathe.

Lexa was standing in front of a full-body mirror, still clad in a pair of light pink, frilly lingerie – covered in blood. Just like the photos in the “kills” album, she was documenting her kill, only this time the victim wasn’t already dead before she killed him. The next photo was her again, this time closer to the mirror allowing Negan to see her face more clearly. She was holding the knife to her tongue, licking the edge of it. Her eyes were glazed over with what Negan could only describe as lust. He never thought that the sight of a beautiful women licking a freshly dead man’s blood off of a knife, while wearing sexy underwear would be something he would be seeing that day. But he was very glad he did. The last photo in the album was taken immediately after the last, only this time the knife was being scraped across her throat and towards her chest. She had the most sinister – yet oddly sexual – smile plastered across her face.

As Negan sat there admiring the photo, trying very hard to control the bulge forming in his pants, his skin quickly turned to ice at the voice behind him.

“It’s not very nice to go through people’s things you know.”


	7. Chapter 7

Lexa closed the bathroom door behind her. She wasn’t expecting the night to go the way it had, although, she wasn’t sure where she wanted the night to go in the first place. Getting drunk was a definite possibility because she and Negan always drank when they were together. But dancing around and trying to maybe flirt with someone who was technically her boss, was not something she had planned. She also didn’t plan on him causing her to spill her drink all over herself, resulting in the situation she was currently in.

She locked the door and proceeded to start undressing herself while checking out the room. The color scheme was the same as his bedroom and office – cool grey with a mix of black. It wasn’t large, but since it was a private bathroom, it made up for the size. Having to use the public showers at the Sanctuary took a long time for her to get used to. The shower door was a frosted glass, sliding door and she was thankful that the controls were the same as the ones downstairs. Nothing worse than being confused about a stranger’s shower system.

There was little in the form of shower supplies aside from what Negan used himself. She wasn’t sure how she felt yet, knowing she’d smell like him for a while. Turning on the water, she waited for it to warm up before stepping inside. She let the water run over her body, relishing in the feeling. The water here was hotter than that in the public showers she noticed - something she’d have to nag on him about. She quickly shampooed her hair, thinking back on what had happened. If he hadn’t startled her, what would she have done? He was obviously grabbing her hips and if she hadn’t spilled her drink, what then? Would she have allowed it to happen, or would it end up the way it did with Michael?

The water ran over her hair, rinsing the shampoo out. Sure, she had feelings for him, she knew that already. But she also knew that if anything happened between them, their relationship would change drastically. He’d probably expect her to say yes to being one of his wives. He didn’t have any mistresses – at least, none that she knew of. She dropped the soap in her hand at that thought. She bent down to pick it up, shaking the thoughts out of her head. That’s something to think of for another day, she told herself. She began singing the song that caused all of this trouble, it was still stuck in her head.

When she finally felt ready to leave the shower, she grabbed the towel he had given her and began drying off. She looked over at her clothes and the shirt he gave her. It was white. He probably did that on purpose she thought. Deciding that maybe she should just see what happens with the rest of the night, she put on his shirt and her underwear and nothing else. Let’s play his game. With her hair still slightly damp, she threw her clothes in the corner to pick up later, along with the towel, and headed for the door.

She waited by the door, thinking she heard Negan make a weird sound on the other side of the door. She unlocked it and opened the door slowly, peeking her head around the corner. He was sitting at his desk facing away from here and she could see what he was looking at. Her stomach dropped. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“It’s not very nice to go through people’s things you know.” She tried to hide the quiver to her voice.

She saw his shoulders stiffen and he straightened his back, obviously not expecting to get caught. He turned around slowly, placing her phone on the desk, the screen still showing the photo she never wanted him to see. What did he think of her now? When he was finally facing her, he didn’t look up to meet her eyes. She leaned against the doorframe, wondering if she should just go back in and lock the door, when he finally breathed out a sigh.

“Yeah. So, that happened.” He looked up at her, running a hand through his beard. “Sorry you had to catch me, doll. But – are you wearing nothing but my shirt?” His eyes widened and she saw him run his eyes over her body. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Why?” She asked.

He simply stared at her. The longer the silence grew the angrier she felt herself getting.

“I asked you a question.” She glared at him now.

“Look, I’m gonna be very honest with you sweetheart. I just could not resist.” He stood up, grabbed her phone, and started walking towards her. “And am I glad I did, because that was something else.”

He held her phone out to her. She snatched it from him but still refused to look up at him.

“Hey.” He said softly, lifting her chin with his hand gently. “What happened that day with him?”

She blinked tears threatening to form in her eyes. He already saw the photos, he might as well know the truth, she told herself.

“Obviously, Michael didn’t die the way I told you before.” She started.

///

_Michael and Lexa had been there for two months now and the mall had some semblance of power. They had two working solar panels which provided light and electricity to certain parts of the building. It would take many more to get the whole place powered up. In that time, Lexa noticed a change in her and Michael’s relationship. It wasn’t a bad change, at first. They had realized since they were going to be living together for longer than they already had, they might as well attempt to see if something else could be there. It started small, sleeping in the same bed, having their first kiss, and eventually seeing if their relationship could become more physical. Despite all of that, Michael seemed to be the only one that was truly happy._

_“So I went into the back of that like, lingerie store or whatever, and you’re not going to believe it.” Michael grabbed her hand and led her to the store. Lexa laughed along as she was pulled._

_“Let me guess, you found some that are still intact?” She stared at the man. How long would she be able to keep lying to herself that she was happy? How would she tell him that?_

_“Oh yeah. And,” he turned to look at her, a dangerous look in his eyes “I would love to see you try some on for me.” The grip on her hand tightened._

_They reached the store which was dimly lit but it was one of the stores that did have lights. The walls were red and the floor was a dark wood color. There were shelves of old clothing and underwear strewn about, some covered in dirt or blood. Michael pulled her towards one of the dressing rooms, telling her there were two pairs in there that he wanted to see her wear. She had to admit, she was excited to wear them – it had been so long since she got to wear cute underthings. The first one she grabbed was lacey and was a deep red color. It was more sexy than cute but she still liked it. She saw herself in the mirror, and she wished she had some way to do her hair and makeup but, you work with what you’ve got._

_She pulled the curtain back slowly, Michael was sitting on a nearby plush bench. When he looked up his mouth hung open. Lexa tried not to hide herself, instead opting to try to look sexy._

_“Hey, I’ve got an idea.” She went back in the dressing room and grabbed her phone. “Why don’t you take some pictures of me, hm? That way you can look at them again later?” She leaned over unnecessarily far to hand him the phone._

_“Oh I love the way you think.” He smiled lecherously at her._

_And so they took some photos, and she pulled out all the stops. Hoping that if she could at least do this, then she wouldn’t need to do it again for a while. When they were done with this set she went back in to change into the other pair. They were much more in the style of something she would have worn before. They were light pink and ruffled in all the right places._

_“Come on, babe. I’m dying to see you in that pink one.” She heard from outside the curtain. She scrunched her nose in disgust._

_And so they took more photos in the pink outfit. This time though, she had to fend off Michael from constantly trying to get her out of the outfit._

_“Hey, I’m fine with modeling for you, Mike. But I’m not in the mood, alright?” She said as calmly as she could, pushing his hand away from her side._

_“Well based on the faces you’re making in some of these photos we took I’d say that’s a different story.” He pulled her in close, wrapping an arm around her stomach._

_She tried not to show her disgust. He wasn’t much taller than her but he was much stronger. She knew she couldn’t fight him and win._

_“Alright, alright.” She sighed. “But let me at least take this off, yeah? I want it to look nice for next time.” He let go of her and she began walking towards the dressing room, running her hand along his chest before she closed the curtain._

_She thought fast. This wasn’t the first time he had tried to get her to have sex with him again. It wasn’t that he wasn’t good, there just wasn’t a spark between them. But this also wasn’t the first time she’d had to really tell him no. Before this she would always cave in to his requests and just go along with it, but she was honestly tired of it. No more, she told herself. This ends today. She grabbed her knife from inside her boot, she was glad she kept it on her at all times._

_“Come on, Lex. You’re killing me out here.” She heard him groan. “I can’t wait to have you in front of all these mirrors.”_

_She opened the curtain, holding the knife behind her back._

_“Hey, I thought you were going to take that off?” She walked up to him and when she got close enough he started sliding one of the straps off her shoulder._

_“Well, I realized you’d rather see me in this, right?” She smiled sweetly at him, fixing her grip on the knife._

_“Oh yeah. Now, let’s do this.”_

_He grabbed her shoulder tightly and pulled her in front of him in the large mirror. But his expression quickly changed from desire to pain as the knife lodged itself in his stomach. Lexa turned around to face him, the knife still in place._

_“What the fuck, Lexa? You fucking bitch!” He went to grab her arm._

_She yanked the knife out, causing him to yell out. He reached a hand up and grabbed her hair, pulling it hard._

_“This, is for all the times you made me sleep with you even though you KNEW I didn’t want to.” She grunted through her teeth at the pain of her hair. She sliced at his arm which caused him to let go._

_It was then that she felt something inside her, and she wasn’t sure what it was. But it felt good. She plunged the knife in his chest this time, blood spurting out onto her own chest. The warmth spread through her body and she felt a smile forming on her lips. She looked into Michael’s eyes and all she saw was fear in his face. He looked like he was about to say something when she silenced him with another stab to the chest and a slice to the throat to finish him off._

_She was breathing heavily._

_She grabbed the phone he was still clutching in his now limp hand. It was covered in blood. She took two photos of the body lying on the floor in front of her, one with the weapon of choice. Still feeling the rush, she walked up the mirror and took photos of herself. She didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror, but she also wasn’t afraid of her. This was her._

///

“After that day…I would go out and kill the dead ones for fun, which I’m sure you probably saw in the other photos.” Lexa stared down at her feet. She didn’t want to see the expression of the man in front of her.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

She glanced up when Negan didn’t say anything and was surprised by his expression. He looked genuinely pissed off.

“N-Negan?” She wrung her hands together awkwardly.

“I don’t know whether to be turned on by the mental image of you killing a guy in lingerie,” He went and sat back down in his chair, “Or pissed the fuck off that I didn’t get to bash his skull in myself for trying to have his way with you.”

Lexa blinked at him. She remembered Simon telling her that Negan hated men who tried to force their way onto women. She went and sat on the edge of his bed, thinking of what to say next when he beat her to it.

“So, what are we going to do about this?” He leaned forward, staring intensely at her.

“I’m not sure. I was going to ask the same thing.” She let out a laugh. “I gotta say, this wasn’t how I thought this night was going to go.”

“Oh trust me. Me neither. Though, you’re partly the way there since you’re sitting on my bed in my shirt.” Her eyes shot open. “Woah, don’t worry! I ain’t going to touch you without your permission, especially not after learning what happened to you.”

“Thank you. I mean, I’m definitely not happy you went through my stuff obviously, but thank you for listening, I guess.” She smiled at him. “No one else can know about what happened. They’d think I was a psycho.” She kicked her feet up under her legs. “I don’t think anyone could understand the…joy, I get from the blood rush.”

She heard a chuckle from the man in front of her.

“Oh trust me darling, I can think of one person.” He raised an eyebrow at her, causing her to blush.

Just as she was about to ask more about it, Simon came bursting through the door of Negan’s room. He was breathing hard, having probably run all the way from the bottom floor. He did a double take between Lexa and Negan. Lexa coughed awkwardly. Negan simply glared a hole through Simon.

“Uh, sorry boss. We’ve got a situation. Someone just killed a shit-ton of our guys at the satellite outpost.”


	8. Chapter 8

Negan continued to glare at Simon.

‘He has, quite literally, the worst fucking timing.’ He thought to himself. He looked over at Lexa who was trying very hard to focus on something on the floor and was very quickly turning red. Negan tried not to laugh.

Negan sighed and pointed towards the chair in front of his desk, motioning for Simon to sit, which he did.

“Alright, what happened?” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk and folded his hands in of him.

“This is, probably best for your ears only, boss.” Simon looked back towards Lexa who was still sitting on the bed. “No offense.”

Lexa seemed to have gotten the hint and jumped off the bed rather quickly.

“Right! I’ll just, uh, get out of your hair.” She quickly ran into the bathroom and came out a minute later with her pants on and her clothes in her hands. “Good night, Ne-sir!” She added before hustling her way out of the door.

Negan just smirked before returning his gaze back to Simon, beckoning him to continue.

“Earlier today someone got a radio call from Paula. According to her, a group of about ten people attacked the satellite outpost and killed twenty-four of our guys in their sleep. She managed to capture two that were outside the outpost and brought them and, what was left of the survivors of the attack, to the slaughterhouse where she radioed in for backup. I sent over some guys to help out and assess the situation and they finally got back. Looked like by the time they arrived, she was dead along with the others.” Simon brushed his hand over his mustache.

“Negan, that’s thirty-four Saviors gone overnight.”

Negan didn’t know what to say. He was pissed. Paula was one of his top lieutenants. They were already down two since Bud and his “dick brigade” went and got blown up two months ago.

“Do we have ANY leads at all?” Negan asked.

Simon shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Honestly, no. If her backup had gotten there faster, maybe. But as is? We’ve got nothing.”

Negan leaned back in his chair. Simon was deep in thought, but then something seemed to have come to mind because his eyes lit up.

“Something you wanna share with the class?” Negan asked.

“Possibly. It’s a hunch really.” Simon leaned forward. “Hilltop shouldn’t own any heavy weaponry like the rocket launcher that was used on Bud a few months ago, and the Kingdom doesn’t operate that far out of their usual scavenging ground. If these attacks are by the same group, then it makes sense to think we might have a new player in town.”

Negan nodded slowly, taking in all the information. He hated losing men, and this was forty-one men gone in a span of two months. Whoever this group was, they’d better hope he never found them.

“Oh yeah!” Simon snapped his finger. “When Paula radioed in earlier she also mentioned that one of the guys in the attack party seemed to fit the description of the guy Dwight said he stole that motorcycle from. Apparently he seemed really happy to see the bike so, either he really loves busted up motorcycles or, he was happy to get his property back.”

Negan smiled at this new bit of info.

“Well, that shit just might help us out. Thanks for the update, Simon.” He got up and patted Simon on the shoulder before heading towards the door of his bedroom. “I’m calling it a fucking night though, so get out will ya?”

Simon got out of the chair and began making his way out of the door when Negan stopped him again.

“If you see shit-for-brains, send him up here tomorrow.” Negan said, leaning against the doorframe.

“Can do, boss.” Simon said, laughing as he walked away.

Negan shut the door, placing his forehead on the door. This wasn’t how he wanted this night to go.

///

The next day around nine in the morning, Negan heard a knock on his door.

“Come on in.” He called out from his couch.

Dwight entered the room and stood in front of the now closed door.

“I heard you wanted to see me, Negan?” He asked, obviously confused.

“Indeed I fucking did.” Negan smiled at him. “How would you like the chance to find the guy you stole that bike from a while back?”

Dwight looked very confused now.

“I don’t understand sir.”

“It’s simple, really. I want you and, let’s say, twelve men, to do some very important investigative work for me. Think you can handle that?” Negan stood up now, standing in front of Dwight.

“Someone killed a shit load of our guys last night and that cannot go unpunished. Only one problem, we don’t know where the fuck they are. However, we might have an idea on a general area.” Negan put his arm around Dwight and opened up his door. “So, you’re going to scout out the area between our satellite outpost, Hilltop, and wherever you stole that bike from, until you either find the community itself, or the people responsible for last night.”

Dwight stared at him seriously and nodded his head. “On it, sir.”

“Alright! And do remember to come back, okay Dwighty-boy?” Negan pointed at the scarred side of Dwight’s face before closing the door.

///

It was four days later when Simon re-entered Negan’s room with a report from Dwight and his crew. They had apparently found a guy roaming the roads and captured him when they came across the guy he had stolen the bike from and two chicks. He managed to kill one of the ladies but apparently they had been followed and flanked. In the end eight Saviors were killed.

This was forty-nine.  

Negan told Simon to inform Dwight that he should continue scouting the area since he had to be getting close to their base of operations.

He was rewarded when the next day Simon returned with another report from Dwight. His group had captured two of the people from the day before, plus two others who also seemed to be from the same group. However, despite that good news, Simon also had more bad news. Roman, one of the various Savior ringleaders, and his men were attacked by a lady on the road. Apparently she fit the description of one of the people Paula had kidnapped. Roman informed them that two of his men were dead, and that the other two – Miles and Jiro – hadn’t reported in and should also be considered dead as well.

Negan was getting pretty fed up with this group. This was fifty-three of his men. Fifty-three Saviors gone in a little over two months. Whoever this group was, he couldn’t wait to get a hold of them.

///

Two days later Dwight returned, with the four people he captured locked up in the back of a box truck. He was now sitting in Negan’s office waiting for his next orders. Before Negan could think of what to do with these new arrivals, a radio call came in from Simon.

Simon had been out dealing with an issue with a group working out of a nearby library. They had stopped going along with their end of the deal and it was time to teach them a lesson.

 _“Come in, Negan. This is Simon.”_ The radio on Negan’s hip crackled.

“Go ahead, Simon.” Negan replied. Dwight simply stood idly by the door.

_“Boss, you ain’t gonna believe this. But I believe I just met the leader of this troublesome group of ours.”_

Negan gripped the radio tighter.

“Are you absolutely sure about that? We need to find the right guys.”

_“I’m pretty confident. Long story short, he said something along the lines of ‘I’d like to not kill any more of your men’ and we haven’t told any of the other communities that we’ve had losses, so, it’s gotta be them.”_

“Good fucking work, Simon. Make sure you keep track of where they’re headed and don’t lose them. See if you can’t start up the redirect, I’ll send some guys your way.”

 _“Will do sir, over.”_ And with that there was silence in the room.

Negan quickly glanced over at Dwight who was avoiding eye contact.

“I know you just got back and all, but I’m gonna need you to head on back to the truck filled with your new friends, alright?” Negan grabbed Lucille and lead Dwight out of his room.

“Tell the rest of the Saviors to meet outside the loading bay, I’ll be down in a jiffy.” Dwight nodded in response and made his way downstairs.

Negan considered what to do next. He had an idea, but he wasn’t sure if he should go through with it. Though, it would certainly be an interesting experiment.

He made his way down the stairs to the floor below him. It had been a little over a week since he last saw her. She hadn’t come up for their usual meetings the day before. He remembered the photos and shrugged his shoulders, he did kind of piss her off. He stood in front of her door, listening for any sounds to indicate that she would be inside. He heard the faint sound of humming from the other side of the door and a smile began to form on his lips. He knocked on the door twice.

“Who is it?” Came a chipper voice on the other side.

“It’s the fucking pizza delivery boy!” Negan responded with, lifting Lucille onto her perch on his shoulder.

There was a long silence before he heard footsteps making their way towards the door. The door unlocked and opened slowly.

“Long time no see, doll.” He smiled sweetly at her. It had been too long.

Her hair was up in a rough bun, as if she had just put it up on the way to the door. She was wearing his shirt again, he noticed, with a pair of grey shorts that accentuated her legs. She simply stared at him, her expression hard to read.

“What are you doing here, Negan?” She said softly.

“I’ve got something I need you to do for me. Mind if I come in?” He was already making his way in the door before he finished his question.

Her room was drastically different than what it had originally looked like. The drab, gray walls were now painted a soft blue which lightened up the room dramatically despite not having windows. She had apparently gotten new bedding which was now a clean, white with a mix-and-match set of pillows. The rest of the furniture was the same as the original stuff, but were now painted white. He wondered how many extra shifts she was taking in order to afford all of the supplies she would need to do this. That was something he could ask her later.

“Negan?” Lexa asked from behind him.

He turned around and looked at her. She was standing uncomfortably by the door.

“I know it’s been a while but-” Negan cut her off before she could continue.

“Man, have I missed you. Almost forgot how beautiful you are.” He laughed when he saw her eyes widen.

“Negan, seriously, what are you doing here?” She said more pointedly.

“Right, straight to business. So, since you failed to come meet me yesterday for our weekly meet-n-greets.” He held up a hand to stop her from explaining. “Since you failed to meet me, you’ve been out of the loop on what’s been going on around here. In the span of a little over two months, fifty-three of my Saviors have been killed by a group that seems to have moved into the territory.”

Lexa’s eyes widened for another reason this time. “Fifty three?”

“Yup. And let me tell you, I do not let that shit slide.” He walked up to her. “Now, like I said, I have something I need you to do for me.”

She nodded at him, her expression serious. She hadn’t been here for very long but he heard things, and apparently she was well-liked by a lot of people around the Sanctuary.

He told her to get dressed and went out into the hallway to wait for her. A few minutes passed and she was leaving the room, locking the door behind her. She had changed into her black combat boots, a pair of jeans, her black sleeveless turtleneck top, and her jacket was tied around her waist. Her hair was now in a ponytail, the end reaching mid-shoulder.

“You ready?” He asked, swinging Lucille around in the hallway.

“I suppose. You still haven’t told me exactly what it is you need me to do, you know?” She looked up at him.

“Fully aware. Follow me!” He pointed towards the stairs and made his way down. He heard Lexa huff behind him.

When they finally made their way to the loading bay, there were thirty or so Saviors standing around waiting.

“Saviors! Listen up!” Negan boomed, grabbing their attention. “Now as you’ve all noticed, there is a great, big number of you fucks missing. Someone has been killing off our good men, and that ends tonight.” He walked towards the center of the group. “Group leaders, you’re going to take your guys and meet up with Simon, where you’ll be doing redirect. Is that understood?”

The various leaders all called out their yes sirs as Negan continued.

“Fan-fucking-tastic. You fucks can ask Simon where to meet him on your own. Saviors, move out!”

And with that, the group scattered into their various vehicles and made their exit. Negan spotted Dwight near the truck that held his prisoners. He motioned for him to come over.

“I’m gonna have you take Lexa here to where Simon is, alright? After that head to the playing field, with any luck this blockade shit will actually work.” Dwight nodded and headed back towards the truck door.

Negan walked back towards Lexa who was looking thoroughly confused as to what she was doing there and where to go.

“Don’t think I forgot about you.” Negan said, motioning her to follow him. “Your ride’s this way.”

She kept up behind him. “Negan, seriously, what the hell am I doing here?” He could hear the concern in her voice. “I told you, I haven’t killed in a very long time and I-I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Negan stopped and looked down at her, placing two hands on her shoulders. “Hey, don’t worry, doll. You won’t be killing anyone tonight, okay?” He said softly.

She breathed out a sigh of relief, but was still confused.

They made it to the box truck and Dwight was sitting in the driver’s seat, looking rather impatient. Negan opened the door for her and she hopped in, smiling at Dwight who just raised an eyebrow at her. Negan closed the door and leaned in close, his head inside the truck. He motioned for Lexa to bring her head down and whispered in her ear.

“Tonight, you’re going to see someone else who loves the blood rush just as much as you.” He said, his voice low. He winked at her and then slapped the side of the truck, telling Dwight to head out.

Negan saw her mouth fall open as the memory of what he had said to her the last time they saw each other dawned on her. Negan stood there grinning like a fool before heading off towards his own truck. Tonight he hoped to see that girl in the photos.


	9. Chapter 9

Lexa sat uncomfortably in the passenger seat of the box truck. She glanced over at Dwight as they turned down another bumpy dirt road. She really hoped he didn’t catch what Negan had said to her. Throughout the ride she noticed Dwight never looked her way and generally looked very miserable. She had, of course, heard about what had happened to him and Sherry – she asked one of her coworkers about it once. She wondered if maybe he was just always this unsociable.

She could Simon hear over the hand-held radio Dwight had placed on the dashboard on the truck. He was directing the other Saviors that had been in the loading bay back at the Sanctuary. He was currently ordering two groups of eight to block off something he called “the long road.”

“What’s the long road?” Lexa looked over at Dwight.

He looked at her, and raised his one good eyebrow at her. “It’s a long road.” Lexa gave him an annoyed look before he went on. “When we’re setting up roadblocks like this and we haven’t got everyone in place yet, we get whoever we’re trying to block onto this long stretch of roads until everything is set up. Makes it easier on us.”

Lexa nodded her head, it made sense. She spent the rest of the ride asking him various questions to which she usually got short answers.

They turned out of the woods and onto an actual road where Lexa could see a group of Saviors wrangling some dead ones around. She spotted Simon off in the distance talking with some other men. Dwight pulled the truck up next to him and turned towards Lexa.

“This is your stop. You’ll ride with Simon the rest of the way.”

“Thanks, Dwight.” Lexa smiled at him as she hopped out of the truck. He gave her a curt nod.

Simon smiled wide when he saw Lexa walk around the front of the truck.

“Well hello! Negan didn’t tell me you were coming along on this.” Simon leaned against the hood of the truck he was near.

“It was extremely last minute and I really have no idea what I’m doing here to be honest.” Lexa jumped up to sit on the hood of the same truck.

“He does that sometimes.” Dwight chimed in, standing with his arms crossed next to Simon.

They were all watching the chain of dead being put together. Simon grabbed his radio and made a call to the men he sent to the long road to start making their way towards the next blockade.

“So what are you doing here?” Lexa asked.

Simon clapped his hands and stepped away from the truck. “We’re gettin’ creative up in here is what we’re doing.”

Lexa just looked at him confused.

“We already know the group we’re after has worked with our people at Hilltop, it’s what all our spies have given us. So, we figure that’s probably where they’re heading now. If they hit this line here,” Simon tugged on the chain, “Then our assumption will be correct and we can start flushing them towards Negan.”

Lexa knew about the other groups that the Saviors had deals with. She counted herself as lucky that she was in a party of one when Negan found her because she didn’t think she would be able to handle collecting supplies only to give half of it away. She tried not to judge too harshly on any of Negan’s decisions however – you had to survive somehow in this world.

As soon as the last dead one was secured and the chain latched together, Simon called out the next orders. He told six men to stay there to push the group forward to the next blockade – he made sure to emphasis not to shoot anyone. He then ordered everyone else to head out to the next blockade and meet up with those from the “long road” crew, once they were done at the chain site.

“Did they really kill fifty three of our people?” Lexa asked.

Dwight looked at her this time. “Is it ‘our people’ already?” Lexa just glared at him for a moment before Simon spoke.

“Yeah. At first it was just a group of eight of our guys. They weren’t really well-liked but still. And then after that it was just one hit after another. We’ve tried to keep it on the down low, don’t want anyone inside the Sanctuary to get any ideas, ya know?” Simon helped Lexa off of the hood. “Now it’s time to finally get back at ‘em.”

“Well, is there anything I can do to help?” Lexa asked.

Simon told her that he couldn’t think of anything before telling Dwight to head off to the final destination. As Dwight walked away towards his truck, Lexa thought of an idea.

“Hey, Dwight?” She called out, catching up to him.

Dwight quickly turned around to face her, the confusion on his face evident that he wasn’t expecting her to run up to him.

“You said that the people in the truck are friends of these guys we’re trying to get, right?” She began walking to the back of the truck. Simon was making his way over to them now.

“Yeah?” Dwight asked, still confused.

Lexa just smiled at both of the men. “Anyone want to play some mind games with these people?” Although she didn’t want to kill anymore, Lexa knew she wasn’t above a little mental harm. She had done way worse in the past anyway.

Simon raised his eyebrows, a smile slowly creeping along his face as he stared at Lexa.

“I think I might know why Negan asked you out here now.” Simon laughed and went to open the back of the truck. “Anything you want to do in particular?”

“Not to these people, no, to their friends that are heading this way though, yes.” Lexa went and stood next to Simon, Dwight just stayed near the driver’s door.

Simon opened the two metal doors, the screeching irritated the dead ones that were chained up. He pulled out his gun, aiming towards the inside of the truck to stop anyone from getting out. The inside was dark due to the sun going down but Lexa could still see the people in the back of the truck. They all were blinking, adjusting their eyes to the light and Lexa simply observed them, trying to get back into her more sadist side. Just this once, she told herself. She needed something from these people that would probably be recognizable by the others that were on their way. There were four of them in the truck – an Asian man who was sitting closest to her was looking around Lexa at the surrounding area that was visible from his spot. Nothing on him that would work. There was another, scraggly man seated next to him but this man was crouched near the back of the truck glaring furiously at Simon and Lexa. It’d be too dangerous to try to search him, she thought. There were two women on the other side of the truck, one woman was just staring straight ahead of her. Her black hair was sticking to her forehead. Nothing on her that would work. The last woman was staring straight at Lexa, her body was relaxed but Lexa could see a fire behind her eyes. A smirk formed on Lexa’s face and she whispered into Simon’s ears.

“That just might do it.” He handed Lexa his gun before grabbing a knife from his boot and walking towards the woman.

She leaned back a little.

“Don’t worry so much. I’m not gonna kill you.” Simon said as he grabbed two of the locs next to her face. “Just taking a little something.”

As quickly as the door was open, it was closed. Simon looked back at Lexa, holding the hair in his hand.

“Well, now what?” He asked, putting the knife away and taking his gun back.

“See if you can pin it to one of the dead ones. That way if they don’t already know we have some of their people, they will now.” Lexa crossed her arms. “It’ll definitely freak them out.”

Simon just nodded, impressed, as he walked away towards the line. He attached the hair and just stared down the line.

“I feel like it’s missing something.” He said thoughtfully. “I know!”

Simon jogged back to where Dwight was and asked him for something that Lexa couldn’t hear. Dwight seemed hesitant but opened the door and pulled a crossbow out from behind the seat.

“Thank you!” Simon said flippantly, walking away. As he passed Lexa he held it up, “This is apparently owned by the angry guy in the back of the truck.”

Simon walked back into the road, standing a few feet from the line. The other Saviors had already left, leaving just the three of them and the ones who scattered into the woods. Simon aimed the crossbow at one of the dead ones and fired three shots, two of which hit their target.

“Close enough.” He mused, looking at the fallen bolt. “Alright, let’s get going!” Simon spun around on his heel and looking at Lexa, pointed his head towards his truck.

“I’ll see you guys later, I guess.” Dwight called out, hopping into the truck.

Lexa waved goodbye to Dwight as she made her way over to Simon’s truck.

“Ready to head to the next one?” Simon asked, jumping into the driver’s seat.

“I guess, it’s either that or stay here.” Lexa shrugged. Simon just laughed.

They drove towards the next destination. Simon lovingly referred to it as the “bonfire,” Lexa wasn’t quite sure why yet. As they got close to the site they got a radio call from the six men Simon left at the chain site – the RV had just gone through the area and was headed to the next blockade. According to Simon there should be roughly forty men there at the moment, he wished he could be there to see the look on the leader’s face. After a few minutes on the bumpy road they hit an overpass. The road already had the cars that were on it pushed to the side, Lexa could see two Saviors already at the top who had probably moved the cars.

“This the place?” She asked as they drove up to the top.

“Yup!” Simon pulled the truck up to the men who were there.

They had someone with them. He looked horrible, beaten to shit and had an orange “X” painted on his chest. He was leaning against the edge of the overpass trying his hardest to keep breathing. Lexa didn’t know what to make of it.

As her and Simon hopped out of the car, Lexa went to the edge of the overpass to look at the view below. She could see a few trucks with logs on the back of them, with a pile already being formed in the middle of the road. She assumed this is what Simon meant when he called the area the bonfire. She could hear Simon talking with the other men up on the road so she walked over to where they were.

“When the RV pulls up, don’t immediately light it on fire. I wanna do a little scare-tactic on em!” Simon said, wiggling his fingers in the air comically. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at him, grabbing the attention of everyone there.

The two men that were talking with Simon both nodded in her direction, she didn’t know their names but she recognized them. The two shared a bunk in the barracks and their room’s electricity was constantly bugging out so she was always going over there to fix it.

“So, can I ask what’s with the almost-dead guy?” Lexa looked over at the man on the ground. There was a long length of chain tied around his neck which was attached to a nearby car. She looked back at Simon.

“Ah, him.” Simon sniffed. “Negan mention anything about the library group?”

Lexa shook her head. “We haven’t talked much since uh…that day.” Lexa pursed her lips, remembering the awkward encounter from when she last saw Simon.

“Right, that.” Simon said, drawing out the vowels. “Well, long story short, we had a deal with some people working out of a library nearby. They tried skipping out on their end of the bargain and so we’ve made an example out of em!”

“Seems a bit harsh.” Lexa said softly.

“The world’s a harsh place.” Simon leaned an elbow on her shoulder, his height compared to hers made her the perfect leaning post. Lexa just jabbed him in the side with her own elbow.

“So what are we doing here? Anything I can do?” She asked.

“Nah, at this point it’s just a waiting game. The guys I sent to the last blockade should be heading towards the final destination. All we have to do here is wait for the boys below to finish stacking up those logs and wait for our friends to roll on in and we’ll send them in the right direction.” Simon looked over towards the two Saviors nearby and motioned for Lexa to follow him towards the back of the truck they rode in on.

Simon pulled the hatch down and sat in the bed of the truck, motioning for Lexa to join him.

“You don’t have to answer, but you know I gotta ask. What in the world did I walk in on that day?” Simon raised his eyebrows at her. “I mean if you did say yes to his wife thing, then that doesn’t explain why you’re out here.”

Lexa let out an embarrassed laugh. “No, he didn’t ask. He seems to be either avoiding the question or waiting for me to bring up why he hasn’t asked me.” Lexa kicked her dangling feet. “But nothing happened that day that you walked in. I mean, something COULD have happened but it didn’t.” Lexa just stared ahead at the darkening tree line. “I don’t know what to think about him, Simon.”

Simon just nodded his head slowly.

“Well, I ain’t one for girl-talk so I don’t really have an answer for you. But I can say this, I think he brought you out here for a reason. And I think that reason has something to do with why he hasn’t asked you yet. Maybe he wants to see how you react to what will happen.” Simon ran a hand over his mustache.

Lexa stared at him, she wasn’t sure if she should tell him everything. He was Negan’s right hand man after all, and knowing Negan, he would probably tell him anyways. She wasn’t best friends with Simon but she knew they had at least some sort of connection. If he was there at the time, they usually always ate their meals together and chatted with each other. It felt nice. But telling him meant accepting her past again.

In the time that she had spent away from Negan she had thought long and hard about what to do with her situation. Now that Negan knew what she did and what she was capable of, she knew it was only a matter of time before he brought it up again or attempted to get her to bring that part of her back. She knew it had an effect on him – and she liked that it did. During that part of her life even she found it arousing. The day she decided to change her life, she vowed to never let those feelings return. But seeing how Negan, someone she knew she had feelings for, react to that part of her life with the same feelings she did changed a part of her mind.

She was lost.

“Simon?” Lexa said quietly, staring at her feet. She felt him look her way. “I’m fairly certain I know why Negan brought me out here. I just…don’t know what to do about it. I’m afraid it will change me and, honestly, if I’m more afraid that I’ll want it too.” She breathed in a deep breath.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Simon replied.

Lexa let out a small laugh, and then a sigh. “The only other person who knows this is Negan. Can I trust you not to tell anyone else?” Lexa looked him in the eyes. She saw him raise his eyebrows in surprise but then nod his head, his face serious.

She told him the short version of her past. She didn’t tell him about the set of photos from the mall; that was something she was only comfortable with Negan knowing. She told him about how she used to kill and how she handled it. She told him how she thinks Negan brought her out here because now that he knows what she’s actually capable of, he’s going to want to see if he can’t bring that side of her out again. She told him she was scared.

Simon was silent for a moment, just staring ahead.

“I really don’t know what to fucking say to that.” He scratched the back of his neck. “But, if when all this craziness is over, and you still don’t know what you want to do, I’ll be there for you to talk to, alright?” Simon smiled at her and put a hand on her shoulder.

She nodded her head, thankful that he at least took it seriously. A crackle came from the radio attached to his hip and the moment ended – back to business.

 _“RV heading your way, bonfire. Over.”_ Savior called from the other end.

“Copy that. Head on down to the final stop, boys.” Simon replied.

He hopped down from the back of the truck, helping Lexa down as well.

“Let’s great our guests, shall we?” He smiled, heading towards the edge of the overpass.

Lexa stood next to him. The trucks that were loading the logs had moved behind the wall. She could hear the rumbling of a vehicle in the distance and around the corner came the RV. It came to a stop in front of the log wall and six people stepped out. She couldn’t hear what they were saying from so high up, but she could tell they were trying to figure out what to do. Next to her, Simon was telling the other Saviors on the overpass when to toss the man with the x on his chest over. Lexa tried to steel herself for the noise it would make.

“Now.” Came the order from Simon.

They hauled the man over and Lexa covered her ears to mask the sound of him choking – it didn’t help. She watched the people below aim their guns, but a man, who she assumed was the leader, had apparently told them not to.

‘These monsters won’t even try to help a dying man?’ She thought to herself.

When she didn’t hear the choking anymore she lowered her hands. Simon radioed to the men who were behind the log wall and suddenly the wall was on fire. Now she knew why it was called the bonfire. She saw Simon lean over the edge of the wall a little, getting ready to yell something down to the people below.

“You’re treating your people good, right? Like it was your last day on Earth? Or maybe one of theirs?” He straightened up. “You better go, it’s gonna get hot. You go get where you’re going.”

She saw them run back into their RV and they backed away under the overpass and back down the road they came from. Simon radioed back to the men behind the wall, told them to follow the RV as discreetly as possible and make sure it goes where it needs to go. Lexa was still standing at the edge, watching the logs go up in flames. She felt Simon tap her on the shoulder.

“Time to get going.” He said as he started walking away.

“But, what about him?” She looked back down at the body that was just dangling.

“Leave him. He’s an example, remember?” Simon called, not looking back.

Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath; the scent of the smoke calming her thoughts. She turned around and headed towards the truck. The other two Saviors were also there, one in the driver’s seat of Simon’s truck and one in the back. Simon was sitting in the passenger seat.

He banged on the side of the door. “Ride in the back, clear your head.” He called out to her. Lexa nodded.

She hopped in the back of the truck, sitting on the opposite side of the man across from her, and they were off to the final destination.

The sun was setting now, the sky an ominous orange. Lexa tried not to think about what would happen when they arrived. By the time they got there it was completely dark. The rest of the Saviors from the other blockades were already there, their vehicles in a circle with the headlights on providing adequate light. She spotted Negan’s truck almost immediately and her heart fluttered. The truck parked next to his – of course, she thought – and everyone got out. Now that night had come, the air was colder and Lexa was thankful that she brought her jacket with her. As she stood there, not sure of what to do next, Simon walked up next to her.

“Remember, it’s okay if you don’t want to go back to how you were. Negan’s crazy enough as is, I don’t think we need a female version.” He let out a quick laugh. “That being said, if you do decide that’s what you wanna do, then that’s fine too. Alright?” He patted her shoulder before walking off, leaving Lexa to her thoughts.

It wasn’t long though before the familiar, gravelly voice crept up beside her. She looked over at Negan. He was wearing his leather jacket again, this time with a red scarf to add to the combo.

“You ready for the show?” He asked, leaning towards her, a devilish smile on his lips.

Lexa lifted her eyes from his mouth to his eyes, in the light of the headlights they seemed to be made of honey.

“Time will tell, won’t it?” She threw back.

He laughed, but it was short-lived. There was a lot of commotion before through the woods came the RV – but not from the direction it should be coming from.

Negan stepped in front of Lexa. It was subtle, but she noticed.

The RV parked next to where Negan and Lexa were. A body was pushed through the door, falling to the ground. Lexa recognized the man from the group at the bonfire site – the guy with the mullet. He was bloodied, but seemed to be okay aside from looking scared shitless. After that, a Savior stepped out of the RV and the tension in the air began to deflate.

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Negan asked, walking towards the man.

“We saw the group split up earlier. I followed the RV and was able to get it at the roadblock that was meant to bring it here. The other four that were with me are pushing the rest of the group this way. They might need some help though, sir. With it being dark like this, they probably won’t know which direction to push them in.”

Negan nodded at Simon who had been standing nearby. Simon gathered up a large group of Saviors and headed out into the woods. Negan ordered everyone else to get ready to turn off their headlights and to wait for the group to get here before turning them back on.

“Gotta make a grand fucking entrance, you know?” He winked back at Lexa. She just laughed and shook her head.

“If you really wanted to make a grand entrance, then you should hide out in the RV until someone announces you” She bowed flamboyantly. “Like royalty.” She ended with a horrible British accent.

She laughed but when she looked back up at Negan’s face she could tell he was taking her seriously. He was sporting a shit-eating grin but his head was nodding slowly.

“I like the way you think.” He said excitedly before heading off towards the RV.

“Seriously?” Lexa responded.

“I am very fucking serious here!” Negan pointed at her with Lucille.

Lexa shook her head. She hopped onto the hood of Simon’s car and as Negan closed the door behind him in the RV, the headlights of all the cars shut off.

It was silent.

Lexa sat there, trying not to make a sound. She could hear the other Saviors around her rustling around in the area. Then she heard whistling off in the direction Simon and the group had headed off in. Suddenly she could hear the panting of what sounded like many people and the sound many feet crunching leaves. Although it was dark out, the moon provided enough like for Lexa to just make up the shadows of the group that ran into the clearing. Suddenly all the car lights were turned back on and Lexa was blinded for a moment. She blinked, getting her vision back, and there they were. The whistling from the Saviors in the woods began to surround her and the Saviors that had stayed behind now joined in. Lexa just watched the group in front of her. They were like scared sheep, frantically pointing their guns in every direction.

Lexa wasn’t sure what would happen next, but she knew it wouldn’t be good.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me tell you, it is very difficult to write Negan's dialogue because of how JDM delivers his lines. Good lord! 
> 
> So obviously I'm following the show, so, if for some reason you haven't seen the season 6 finale, don't read this yet!
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!

Lexa leaned forward on the hood of the truck, crossing her legs.

It was the same group that she saw at the bonfire blockade except for two new additions – a kid with an eyepatch and a very sickly looking woman.

‘Why’d they bring a kid with them?’ She asked herself. She realized they were probably heading to Hilltop to see the doctor that was there. She tried not to feel sympathy for the woman but it was very hard not to.

As the Saviors’ whistling stopped, Simon emerged from the darkness, raising his eyebrows playfully when he spotted Lexa on the hood of his truck.

“Good! You made it.” He said, walking towards the group. “Welcome to where you’re going.”

Simon was eyeing up the group – they were terrified.

“We’ll take your weapons. Now.” He said seriously.

A man, who Lexa figured was the leader, was breathing heavily. “We can talk about-”

“We’re done talking. Time to listen.” Simon cut him off.

With a small nod, several Saviors began taking the weapons away from the group. Simon walked over to the kid, holding the gun he had earlier out towards him.

“That’s yours right?” He asked.

The kid just stared him down – Lexa realized that’s probably why they brought the kid along. He’s terrifying.

“Yeah, it’s yours.” Simon said, getting up in the kids face.

He flick the kid’s hat. “Okay. Let’s get her down and get you all on your knees.” Simon began walking around. “Lot’s to cover.”

Two Saviors made their way over to help lower the sick women but one of the people, a redhead with a rather impressive set of facial hair, Lexa noticed, shook off their help.

“Hold up. We got it.” He said gruffly.

“Sure, sure.” Simon nodded his head, holding up his hand for the Saviors to step back.

Lexa watched the four adults of the group struggle to let the woman down. There was a part of her that felt she shouldn’t be here; that they shouldn’t be here either. This was just cruel and Negan hadn’t even shown his face yet. But at the same time, despite how she felt she knew these people weren’t as innocent as they looked like – they had killed a whole lot people. And that was just the people they knew about. She simply watched from afar.

They finally got the woman off of the cot and made their way closer to the RV where Simon was standing. From this close, Lexa could really see just how terrible the lady looked. Another Savior brought the man from the RV over next to his friends as Simon approached the leader of the group.

“Gonna need you on your knees.” He said.

Lexa wondered if Negan had everyone always on their knees to fuel some sort of complex. She held up a hand to stifle a laugh at the thought – not the right time she told herself.

The leader looked around his group, trying desperately to come up with some sort of plan. He ultimately caved and began lowering himself, much to the shock of the group around him who quickly followed suit.

“Let’s get the others out here.” Simon said.

Simon stood there looking at the lineup in front of him before calling out Dwight’s name. Dwight made his way out to the circle.

“Yeah” He said, walking towards the truck that held the prisoners from earlier.

He opened the doors and Lexa could hear coughing from the inside of it.

“Come on.” Dwight mocked. “You got people to meet.”

The four were removed from the truck and dragged over next to their friends. The shock and relief on the faces of the group already on the group made Lexa realize they must be a very tight-knit group. She remembered her own group before everything fell apart and her stomach tightened.

The last one was dragged out of the back and pushed to his knees by Dwight to the edge of the group. The man glanced up and caught sight of the sickly woman.

“Maggie?” The way he asked made Lexa’s heart clinch – they were a couple.

The woman began crying and Lexa looked down. Even if they did kill a bunch of people she knew, they were still human.

Dwight had to order the man back to his knees, keeping a grip on the collar of his shirt to make sure he didn’t crawl away.

“All right.” Came Simon. “We got a full boat.” He began backing up towards the door of the RV. “Let’s meet the man.”

Lexa looked back up, sucking in a breath. She wondered what Negan had planned.

Simon knocked on the door to the RV and then walked around to stand at the back of the group. As he passed Lexa he gave her a quick nod before standing next to Dwight. Lexa heard the door of the RV open and saw Negan step out, Lucille at the ready. Even in the darkness of the RV, Lexa could still see the smile that was plastered to his face. She sat up straighter.

“Pissing our pants yet?” He asked nonchalantly.

He walked towards the kneeling group confidently.

“Boy, do I have a feeling we’re gettin’ close.”

She noticed he had a completely different aura about him. She wondered if this man right here was the real Negan and the man she knew was the fake. He walked up and down the line, a predator stalking its prey.

“It’s gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon.” Only he could make such a ridiculous line sound menacing, Lexa thought.

“Now which one of you pricks is the leader?” He asked to no one in particular.

“It’s this one.” Simon piped up, pointing towards the man Lexa had – correctly - assumed was the leader. “He’s the guy.”

Negan went and stood directly in front of the man and let out a sigh.

“Hi. You’re Rick, right?” He asked. “I’m Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men.”

Rick was looking up at Negan, seeming to have just realized what he had done.

“Also,” Negan continued. “When I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people.”

Lexa saw one of the Saviors near her grip the weapon in his hand tighter. He must have known one of the guys that was killed.

“Not cool. _NOT_ cool. You have no idea how not cool that was. But, I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly.”

Negan kicked the dirt at his feet towards Rick. “Yeah. You are _so_ going to regret crossing me in a few minutes.

Lexa was amazed at how Negan was handling himself. It was so much more different than the time he had found her. She wondered if she still had her group, if he would have acted this way then. She could feel the energy pouring out of him – it was something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

He was facing away from her but she could still see the smile that had formed on his face.

“ _Yes you are_.” He laughed. “You see Rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don’t mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it’s really very simple. So, even if you’re stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it.”

Rick was shaking.

“You ready? Here goes. Pay attention.” Negan said, bringing Lucille to hover next to Rick’s face.

He leaned forward.

“Give me your shit, or I will kill you.” Negan threatened.

It was low, but Lexa still managed to catch what he had said and it sent a shiver down her spine.

Negan stood back up, the smile back on his face.

“Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do.” He walked up and down the lineup, waving Lucille with his gloved hand. “You work for me now. You have shit, you give it me. That’s your job.”

 “Now I know that is a might big, nasty pill to swallow.” Negan continued. “But swallow it you most _certainly_ will.” He accentuated his point by pointing Lucille at Rick.

“You ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe, I get it.” Negan was staring directly at Rick. “But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even close.” Negan’s voice was dark. “In fact you are pegged, more pegged if you don’t do what I want. And what I want is half your shit.”

The group’s mood changed drastically. Each wore a different reaction to the news. Lexa thought it was only fair – it kept them alive at least. She knew how the deals with the other communities worked.

“And if that’s too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it’ll even out sooner or later.” Negan stared down the line. “This, is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door,” He let out a chuckle. “You let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us, and we will knock it down.”

He jabbed Lucille into Rick’s face, earning a flinch from the man.

“You understand?” He cupped his hand around his ear mockingly. “What, no answer?” Negan walked around aimlessly.

Lexa let out a small gasp when Negan turned his head towards her direction, staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

“You don’t really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now, did you?” He quickly turned back to the group, a smirk on his face.

Lexa squeezed her legs together. This was why he wanted her out here.

“I don’t want to kill you people.” Negan reassured. “I just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can’t do that if you’re dead, now, can you?” Negan walked back towards Rick. “I’m not growing a garden. But, you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them. More than I’m comfortable with. And for that? For that you’re gonna pay.” He looked down the line-up.

“So now, I’m gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you.” Lexa’s eyes widened at the threat.

Negan twirled Lucille around, getting a better grip on her. “This,” He leaned towards Rick. “This is Lucille. And she is _awesome_.”

He walked down the line, displaying Lucille proudly.

“All this, _all this_ is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor.” Negan inhaled sharply.

He stopped in front of the red haired man who sat up straighter. “Huh.” He rubbed a hand down his beard. “Ugh, I gotta shave this shit.”

Lexa let out a quiet huff which didn’t go unnoticed by Negan, earning her a confused stare from him. She returned the look with her own which she hoped conveyed the message of ‘you better fucking not.’ He smirked before turning back around.

He made his way over to the kid, who was staring at Negan without a hint of fear in his eyes.

“You got one of our guns.” He knelt down in front of him. “Yeah. You got a lot of our guns.” He proceeded to have a staring contest with the kid. “Shit kid, lighten up. At least cry a little.”

Negan laughed before standing back up, readjusting the gun in his waistband giving Lexa a glance at his hips. Lexa couldn’t stop staring at the man before her. He was toying with them, making them wonder if they were the one. This was a whole new side to him, and she had to admit that she liked it.

He went and stood in front of the sick woman, doing a double take on her.

“Jesus. You look shitty. I should just put you out of your misery right now!” Negan held up Lucille.

The Asian man at the end of the lineup in front of Lexa cried out, trying to make his way towards the woman, earning a take down from Dwight. Negan walked around, scratching his face.

“Nope! Nope, get him back in line.”

The man protested as Dwight dragged him back to his spot. He was crying out, begging to save her. Lexa almost felt sorry for him, but a part of her was with Negan –the lady really looked shitty.

Negan was now standing very close to where Lexa was. He was laughing at the scenario and Lexa couldn’t help but feel a smile forming on her lips at the sight of his.

“All right, listen.” He turned his attention back to the group. “Don’t _any_ of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions!” He warned.

“First one’s free. It’s an emotional moment, I get it.” Negan smiled at the crying couple.

His face straightened out again, facing Rick.

“Suck’s don’t it? The moment you realize you don’t know shit.”

Rick was looking worse with each minute. Even from where she was sitting, Lexa could see the terror in his eyes. He is a weak man, she thought. Negan’s attention was drawn to the kid again, looking between him and Rick.

“This is your kid, right?” He laughed, pointing Lucille towards the kid. “This is definitely your kid.”

Suddenly Rick fell forward. “Just stop this!” He cried out.

Negan spun around quickly. “Hey!” He boomed.

His voice earned a reaction from Lexa who was now sitting at the very edge of the truck. She was engrossed in the performance before her. She knew she should be controlling herself, but he made it very hard.

“Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don’t make it easy on me!” Negan said lightly. “I gotta pick somebody. Everybody’s at the table waiting for me to order.”

Negan walked up and down the line whistling. He was playing with them again.

“I simply cannot decide.” He stopped in the middle suddenly, feigning shock.

Suddenly he chuckled darkly.

“I got an idea.”

He turned towards Lexa, and walked over to her, swinging Lucille around confidently. Lexa just stared at him as he got closer, licking her lips. When he reached her he leaned forward, his beard scratching her cheek.

“How should I do this, doll?” He whispered, breathing on her ear.

Lexa squirmed. She leaned her head towards his, pressing her cheek against his now. She was staring straight ahead at the group, looking at each one as they stared back confused.

She laughed lightly.

“You should play eenie-meenie.” She whispered back to him.

She felt, more than heard, the rumble of his laughter. He stood back up and winked at her before turning around to face his victims. As he began walking off, Lexa felt herself smiling. She still wasn’t sure if she wanted this in the long term, but at the moment it felt right. It had been so long since she let herself go. She grazed her hand across the back of his leather jacket, lightly pushing him forward.

He walked back, standing in front of Rick and pointed Lucille at his head.

“Eenie…meenie…miney…mo…catch…a tiger…by…his toe.” He continued to point Lucille in no particular order.

Lexa found herself kicking her dangling legs playfully. This was exactly how she would choose her victims back in the day.

“If…he hollers…let him go.” Negan smiled, his tone lightening. “My mother…told me…to pick the very best one…and you…are…it.”

Lucille landed on her victim. Lexa’s eyes widened as she prepared for what would come next.

“Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy’s other eye out and feed it to his father and then we’ll start.”

Everyone in the group began breathing rapidly when they realized what was about to happen.

“You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry.” Negan readjusted his grip on Lucille. “Hell, you’re all gonna be doing that.”

And with that, he growled as he lifted his bat into the air and brought it back down forcefully onto the red haired man. The sound of the impact was deafening in the silence of the forest.

Lexa stopped breathing and just stared, watching Negan’s chest rise and fall rapidly with the thrill – she knew that feeling all too well.

Lexa wished she had brought her phone.


	11. Chapter 11

“Oh! Look at that!” Negan laughed. “Taking it like a champ!”

He was waving Lucille in the air flamboyantly. Lexa had to remind herself to breathe.

Suddenly, the redhead spoke up – much to the surprise of everyone around.

“Suck…my…nuts.” He said angrily.

Lexa let out the breath she had been holding in the form of a laugh as Negan continued his assault on the man’s head. After what seemed like a lifetime, Negan finally relented, catching his breath.

“Did you hear that?” He said to no one in particular. “He said ‘suck my nuts’.” Negan laughed at his impression of the man.

Everyone in the kneeling group was in tears or just frozen in shock – Lexa didn’t blame them. That had to have been a traumatic experience. Especially since Negan immediately went right back into smashing the man’s head into a paste. He finally stopped when he was just making mud from the blood in the dirt. He let out a laugh, leaning back towards the sky. Lexa found herself smiling at the scene involuntarily.

“Oh, my goodness!” He said Lucille a swing in front of the group. “Look at this!” Blood and bits of skin flung off the end of the bat. “You guys, look at my dirty girl!”

Lexa was spacing out. It was too much. She hadn’t been this excited over someone or something dying in a long time, and the sight of Lucille – and Negan’s reaction – just reminded her of those times. She used to sit in the middle of the forest, surrounded by her kills and just take joy and pleasure in being covered in the remains of her victims. She understood Negan’s reaction this this violence very well.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the greasy-haired, angry guy she met in the back of Dwight’s truck suddenly rushed forward, straight towards Negan.

“Daryl!” Rick cried out, trying to stop the man.

Lexa almost hopped off the truck but stopped when the man’s fist collided with Negan’s face – this man was crazy for coming at Negan after what just happened. He was quickly tackled and held down by two of the Saviors.

Negan was still shaking off the punch when his demeanor changed completely.

“No!” He roared out. “Oh no. That?” He laughed. “Oh, my! That…is a no-no. The whole thing – not one bit of that shit flies here.” Negan was squatting in front of Daryl, shoving Lucille in his face.

Dwight suddenly ran up, wielding the crossbow that Lexa remembered was Daryl’s to begin with.

“Do you want me to do it?” He was pointing it directly at Daryl’s head, ready to fire. “Right here.”

Negan looked up at Dwight and then back at Daryl, getting a tight grip on Daryl’s hair so that he was looking directly at the end of the crossbow. Lexa figured it was to show that Negan was the one in control of his life – she also knew that she enjoyed seeing Negan grip the man’s hair but she shook the thought out of her head.

“No.” Negan spoke. “No, you don’t kill them…not until you try a little.”

Lexa could see Dwight deflate a little. She knew Dwight was just trying to win his good favor back with Negan after what happened before. He put the crossbow away and helped the other two Saviors drag Daryl back into the line-up.

Negan got back up to his feet. “And anyway, that’s not how it works.” He was pointing Lucille around the group like he was a teacher having to scold his classroom. “Now, I already told you people – first one’s free, then – what’d I say?”

Everyone was silent, minus the sound of crying.

“I said I would shut that shit down!” Negan yelled. “No exceptions.”

Negan smiled towards Lexa’s direction. “Now, I don’t know what kind of lying assholes you’ve been dealing with…but I’m a man of my word. First impressions are important.”

Lexa knew he was going to kill one of them again and she found herself breathing harder.

“I need you to know me.” He glanced back at her and she nodded her head slightly, eliciting a cruel smile from the man.

“So…back to it!” Negan said nonchalantly before bringing Lucille down onto the crying Asian man from before.

Everyone in the group flinched and cried out, none more emotional than the woman Lexa figured was the man’s wife. Lexa found herself torn between pity and the rush of the kill.

Negan brought Lucille back down again on the man’s head. Shockingly, despite the hit being harder than the first blow to the redhead, the man was trying very hard to speak. He was groaning and gasping, looking directly at his wife.

Negan was in awe and laughing at the sight. Lexa found it hard to look away, despite the grossness of the scene – she preferred smooth, clean kills herself. 

“Buddy, you still there?” Negan asked, leaning down in front of his face. He got a sputtering of blood in response from the man. “I just don’t know. It seems like you’re trying to speak, but you just took a hell of a hit. I just popped your skull so hard, your eyeball just popped out, and it is gross as shit!” Negan said, a laugh behind his words.

Negan glanced up at Lexa and she gave an exaggerated, yet playful, grimace.

“Maggie, I’ll find you.” The man finally managed to get out. It was garbled by the blood in his mouth.

Most of the group was now sobbing, the shock turning to just agony. Lexa could tell that this man clearly was important to everyone in the group.

Negan stopped what he was doing to address the crying audience.

“Oh. Oh, hell. I can see this is hard on you guys.” He said sympathetically. “I am sorry. I truly am. But I did say it.” He affirmed, shrugging his shoulders. “No exceptions!” And with that he swung Lucille back around, upper chucking the man straight into the ground. 

The blows felt harder with each swing. The sound of crying was becoming obsolete to Lexa as she continued watching the scene unfold before her. Negan was making his point loud-and-clear: he was the one in control. The idea of the man’s skull being beaten to a pulp by Lucille over and over again, should have been upsetting, yet Lexa found herself engrossed in the scene. She slid off the hood of the truck walked over to the side of the vehicle next to her, it was much larger which allowed her to watch the scene closer, yet not be in the way.

“You bunch of pussies.” Negan said, still swinging away. “I’m just getting started.”

Negan stumbled back a bit, stretching out his arms. “Lucille is thirsty. She is a vampire bat!” He laughed at his own joke and looked over at where Lexa was now standing. She had to admit it was a bit funny but she restrained herself. “What? Was the joke that bad?” Lexa laughed under her breath and shook her head.

Negan was regaining his composure when Rick spoke up, his gruff voice barely audible to Lexa.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

Negan’s head snapped down towards the man. He knelt down in front of him, making sure to put the now-bloodied Lucille right up to Rick’s face.

“What?” Negan asked.

Rick stared him in the eyes.

“I didn’t quite catch that. You’re gonna have to speak up.” Negan taunted.

Although he was visibly shaken, Lexa could see the rage behind the scared face of Rick when he spoke.

“Not today, not tomorrow, but I’m gonna kill you.” Rick muttered.

Lexa could feel the tension in the air between the two men from where she was standing.

 “Jesus.” Negan chuckled darkly. “Simon, what did he have, a knife?” He asked without breaking eye-contact.

Simon looked over at the pile of weapons before answering.

“Uh, he had a hatchet.”

Negan looked up at Simon incredulously. “A hatchet?”

“He had an ax.” Simon held it up real quick for Negan to see.

Negan chuckled again. “Simon’s my right-hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without them? A whole lot of work.” Negan affirmed. “Do you have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing?”

Rick looked away and Negan gasped.

“Oh…or did I…”He waved Lucille in front of Rick, clicking his tongue mockingly to simulate the killing blow.

Rick was visibly shaking, only this time from anger and not from fear. Lexa could feel some of the men next to her gripping their weapons – just waiting for Rick to make a move. Lexa hopped down from the hood of the truck and leaned against it, folding her arms.

Negan sighed. “Sure. Yeah. Give me his ax.” He said to no one in particular.

Simon grabbed the ax again and made his way over to Negan, passing the weapon to him. He held it up to Rick’s face for a moment thinking of what to do next, when he suddenly jumped to his feet. He placed the ax in his belt, right at the eye-level of Rick’s face.

Negan just stood there for a moment before taking in a deep breath. He gave a quick nod.

“I’ll be right back.” He grabbed the collar of Rick’s jacket. “Maybe Rick will be with me!”

Negan dragged Rick across the dirt. Rick was struggling, kicking his legs around to free himself from Negan’s grasp but it was no use.

“And if not, well we can just turn these people inside out, won’t we?” Negan called out to his Saviors.

He pulled Rick towards the RV, motioning with Lucille for Lexa to open the door. She quickly ran over, yanking the door open. Negan forcefully dragged Rick up the step into the RV and tossed him inside.

“I mean…the ones that are left.” He added before stepping inside himself.

Lexa stood there at the door, listening to the rapid breathing of Rick from inside the RV.

“You too, Sparky. Let’s go!” Negan banged on the door, causing Lexa to jump.

She turned back to look at Simon who simply nodded at her and she quietly followed Negan into the dark RV.

As soon as she stepped in she heard the sound of Negan jamming Rick’s ax into the table. It was dark but she could still make out Rick’s form cowering on the floor. Not knowing where else to go, Lexa walked to the front of the RV and sat in the passenger seat, sitting her legs sideways so she could still keep her eyes on Rick.

“Let’s go for a ride.” Negan made his way towards the driver’s seat, groaning as he sank into the old leather. He attempted, and failed, to start the RV.

“Wow.” Negan remarked. He looked over at Lexa. “What a piece of shit.” Lexa let out a quiet laugh as Negan continued. He looked up at the rearview mirror, staring at Rick.

“ _I’m gonna kill you_.” He mocked, reiterating Rick’s previous threat. “Are you kiddin’ me? Did you see what just happened, what I just did?”

Lexa looked back at Rick, she could just make barely make out his face in the reflection of the headlights shining through the blinds. He was staring intensely at his ax.

“You just…” Negan scoffed. “Your best chance is to stand up, grab that ax, and drive it through the back of my head.” He challenged.

Lexa just stared between the two men. She didn’t utter a word, but in her head she was daring Rick to even attempt to kill Negan, and at the same time, yelling at Negan for trying to anger the guy who’s itching for revenge.

“See how you do.” Negan continued taunting Rick, much to Lexa’s annoyance. “Keep actin’ tough. Go ahead.”

Rick was still.

Lexa saw Negan just barely hold up his hand, signaling for her to stay where she was. She saw his other hand reach for something off to the side.

“Grab the damn ax.” Negan ordered.

It was then that Rick sprang up, ripped the ax from the table and before he could even take two steps towards the front of the RV, Negan was already out of the chair and pointing a rifle to Rick’s face. Lexa gripped the arm of the chair tight. If Negan hadn’t told her to stay still, she probably would have gotten in the way of that ax - a thought which scared her.

Negan just laughed, seeing the confidence drain out of Rick once again. He always had the upper hand.

“Drop it.” He whispered.

Reluctantly, Rick dropped the ax, letting it clang to the floor. Suddenly Negan jammed the butt of the rifle into Rick’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him and sending him to the floor gasping for air. Negan picked up the ax off the floor and slammed it back into the table.

“Don’t make me get up again.” He warned. Negan looked back at Lexa and then out the window. “Well, look at that. Dawn is breakin’. It’s a brand-new day, Rick.” He chuckled as he headed back towards the driver’s seat.

“I want you to think about what could have happened, think about what happened, and think about what can still happen.” Negan turned the key in the ignition, this time, successfully turning the RV on, and driving into the woods.

///

Morning had officially come and all Lexa could see outside the windows was thick fog.

Rick had been quiet for the whole ride, the only movement he made was to move to sit in the booth of the dining set.

Negan mostly made idle chit-chat to no one in particular, Lexa figured it was mostly just to annoy Rick. Suddenly there was the sound of a growl from outside getting louder which was replaced by a thud as Negan ran right into it, smattering the window in front of Lexa with its blood.

“Oh! Boom!” Negan laughed.

Lexa just let out a noise of disgust, which earned a smile from Negan.

Negan turned around to look at Rick. “That remind you of anybody you know?”

Lexa looked back at Rick.

“Why don’t you go keep him company, doll?” Negan muttered low enough just so that Lexa could hear. She nodded and made her way back.

She could hear the sound of the RV hitting another dead one.

Rick looked up at her as she headed towards him, worry etched on his face.

Lexa sat other side of the booth without saying a word. She kept waiting for him to make a move against Negan again, but he never did. He simply seemed empty, but he did keep glancing at her – probably wondering why Negan brought her along, a question she also had. Back here though, she found it hard to focus on any moves Rick made because something was distracting her.

From the corner of her eye she could see Lucille propped up behind Negan’s seat, still covered in the blood of her last victim. She wanted desperately to hold her. Her leg was bouncing underneath the table and she was absent-mindedly tapping her fingers against her lips.

The rumble of the RV would be enough to lull Lexa into a trance if it wasn’t for the sound of Rick trying to catch her attention. She glanced back at him, thoroughly confused, and leaned forward when he did.

“Please, you have to get me out of here. My son. My son is back there.” He whispered desperately.

Lexa, despite knowing she would normally feel bad for the man before her, found herself instead, playing along with him.

“I don’t think I could, what if he catches me?” Lexa whispered back, just barely loud enough that she hoped Negan heard. Looking back over her shoulder to where Negan was driving. She was trying very hard to keep her composure.

“It’d be two against one. Please-.” He was cut off abruptly when Negan slammed on the breaks, a huff of air leaving his lungs as his stomach slammed into the edge of the table.

Lexa found herself unable to hold back a giggle, which grew into a manic fit of laughter. She pulled her legs out from under the table and was stretching them into the hallway, holding her head in her hands. She could hear Negan tutting as he walked towards where her and Rick were seated.

“You picked the wrong gal to ask for help, Rick.” Negan leaned against the counter that was opposite the dining area.

Lexa looked up at him, wiping the tears from her eyes. He was looking very smug. He grabbed Lexa’s arm, yanking her up to her feet and pulling her into his chest.

Lexa just stared at him, breathing hard. She found herself staring at his lips before he started to speak again.

“Nah, Rick. She’s scarier than any of the guys in your crew, and probably more deadly than most of my men.” He dipped her, causing her to playfully yell out. “And that’s saying something!”

She looked back at Rick, an arm slung over Negan’s shoulder to keep herself upright, and shrugged comically. Rick deflated, looking even more defeated than he had before.

With the engine turned off, it wasn’t long before all Lexa could hear in the silence of the RV was the growling from outside.

Negan looked down at her and winked before letting her go and leaving her at the counter to go harass Rick. Lexa just crossed her arms and watched the scene unfold before her.

Negan sat in the booth where Lexa just was, Lucille now resting between his legs.

“You are mine.” He said to Rick, a smug smile on his face. “The people back there – they are mine.” He picked up the ax again, waving it in Rick’s face. “This, is mine.”

Negan got up, holding Lucille, and walked over towards the door of the RV. Lexa quickly breathed in the fresh air as he opened the door. The fog was thick but she could still make out the shambling figures in the mist. One got too close to the door and was met with a boot to the face, courtesy of Negan. Lexa was enjoying the show.

Suddenly, Negan tossed the ax up onto the roof, the clattering sound echoing through the RV. Rick looked up.

“Hey, Rick, go get my ax.” Negan said softly. “Let’s be friends.”

Lexa just smirked as Rick sat there, realizing the shit he put himself in. With the door still open, Lexa could see another dead one make its way towards the opening. Negan followed her line of sight just in time to smack it in the face with Lucille. Lexa was happy to see Lucille get dirtied up again.

Negan looked back at Rick who was still sitting silently. Frustrated and impatient, he sighed and leaned down, pointing Lucille in Rick’s face.

“Get my ax.” Negan growled. Lexa stood up straighter.

Rick’s face battled with emotion, everything from anger to acceptance. Finally he got up, not fast enough for Negan apparently as he was promptly thrown out of the door which slammed shut behind him.

Although she wished to see what would happen to the poor man, Lexa couldn’t help but focus on one thing. She was alone in the RV with Negan. Negan turned around slowly. He was smiling and biting his tongue, something Lexa loved seeing him do.

“Enjoy the show, doll?” He finally asked.

Lexa was silent, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. She hadn’t realized that she was gripping the counter behind her in order to steady herself.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Negan.

“I’ll take that as a ‘fuck yes,’ then.” He laughed.

“Can I hold her?” Lexa blurted out.

Negan’s eyebrows shot up.

“Come again?” He asked.

“Lucille.” Lexa pointed at the bat. “She was-is, perfect. Please, can I hold her?” Lexa found herself biting her lip at the thought.

The look on Negan’s face would be etched her mind for a long time, Lexa thought. He knew he had her now. He knew he won.

Lexa felt the smallest pang of fear run through her chest. Was she ready to go down this road again?


	12. Chapter 12

There was a loud silence permeating the interior of the RV despite the faint yells and grunts from Rick outside. Negan was simply twirling Lucille in his hands, running his gloved hand across it as he thought. Lexa was staring intensely at both the man and the weapon. The silence was broken before either could say anything by the noticeable bangs of Rick making his way onto the roof of the vehicle.

Negan released a deep sigh.

“Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin’ around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after.” Negan said towards the ceiling. “No. Doesn’t work like that, Rick. Not anymore. Think about what happened.”

Lexa swatted his arm playfully, mouthing ‘don’t be rude.’ This earned her a smile.

They heard Rick flop onto the roof, as if laying down.

“People died Rick. It’s what happened. Doesn’t mean the rest of them have to.” Negan continued. “Get me my ax.”

There was no sound of movement. Lexa saw Negan’s jaw twitch.

“Get me…my…ax!” He yelled out again.

When there was no sound again, Negan simply shook his head silently.

“I think he needs better motivation.”

Lexa was thrown off guard when Negan held out Lucille towards her. She looked up at him hesitantly. When she saw him nod just slightly, she gently grabbed the bat’s handle. It was heavy, but not uncomfortably so and Lexa took the opportunity to admire it up close while Negan reached for something in the driver’s seat. When he returned he was holding the gun from before.

“I thought you were the guy, Rick. Maybe you’re not. We’ll give it one more go.” Negan pointed the gun up towards the roof and Lexa backed away. “Now, I really want you to try this time. Last chance. Bring me my ax!” Negan called out before firing a line of bullets through the ceiling.

Lexa covered her ears the best she could while still holding Lucille. Negan stopped firing just in time for them to hear Rick jumping off the end of the RV – Lexa was surprised to hear the man still grunting outside, she didn’t know how he managed to survive the jump. Negan made his way towards the back of the RV where the bedroom was located with Lexa quickly following. He glanced through the curtain allowing enough room for Lexa to see as well. Rick was dangling from a dead one that was suspended on a chain. Lexa quickly recorgnized just where Negan had brought them – it was the overpass where the “bonfire” had taken place.

They watched him struggle to hold on. His weight was causing the body he was holding to slowly rip apart. There was also a sizable group grasping at his boots, trying to pull him down. Negan sucked in a breath.

“Looks like we gotta fucking save this prick.” He said, looking back at Lexa.

“Am I allowed to use her?” Lexa asked, twirling Lucille onto her shoulder – mimicking Negan.

Negan just stared at her. “Don’t hurt her – and don’t get yourself killed of course.” He added with a wink.

Lexa nodded curtly before heading towards the door of the RV. Most of the stragglers were too distracted by the dangling meal in the back to notice her opening the door. She took a deep breath before stepping out. There were a few of them clawing at the side of the RV. Lexa adjusted her grip before making her way towards them. There was a voice in the back of her mind that was trying to tell her to turn back, but her feet were ignoring it. As she got closer, there was the sound of gunfire from the back of the RV and she could see a bunch of bodies falling over. She took her chance and lifted the bat – she wondered how Negan was able to lift it so effortlessly. She took a large step towards her victim before slamming it down with all her strength onto its head. The impact splattered thick, dark blood onto her face. She backed up, allowing some distance to form between herself and the others

“Clock is ticking, Rick!” She heard Negan call out from the back of the RV before he shut the window.

Lexa didn’t have much time as two of the dead were getting closer to her. She readied Lucille again, this time much more aware of the weight. As the first one came near, she swung the bat up against the side of its face. The force was enough for the barbed wire to rip its way through the head and knock into the one next to it. It wasn’t enough to take down the second one, which was now making a b-line straight towards her. Lexa took in a deep breath of air – she was trying to fight the familiar thrill that was coursing through her at the moment. She released her breath with a grunt as she kicked the dead one in the knee, causing it to fall to the ground. When it was down she walked over and slammed Lucille into its head causing more of the blood to spray onto her. She reached up to try and wipe away some of the blood but soon realized her hands were covered in blood as well.

Suddenly she heard yells from Rick as he came around the corner of the RV. There was a fire in his eyes again as he chopped down some of the dead with his ax. He was trying to make his way towards the door of the RV but there were still so many biters around them. They needed to get back inside. Lexa made her way towards him, taking down a few of them of her way.

“Open the damn RV, Rick!” She called out to him. She was running out of stamina – she had never fought this many at one time before.

Rick’s head turned towards her quickly, obviously next expecting to see her out there. He looked back at the door and ran over, yanking on the handle.

“It’s locked!” He called out frantically.

Now it was Lexa’s time turn towards him surprised. She ran up against the side of the RV and banged on it loudly.

“Negan!” She called out. There was the smallest twinge of fear in her chest as she quickly lost the adrenaline from the fighting.

Suddenly the door burst open and there was a string of gunfire through the doorway. When it was over, the door was left open and Rick ran inside quickly with Lexa following close behind. They were both in the doorway breathing heavily. Rick made his way slowly towards Negan as Lexa took her seat back in the booth to catch her breath. Negan held out his hand towards Rick. There was a pause before Rick roughly handed the ax over to Negan. He sat down on the opposite side of the booth across from Lexa.

Negan smiled, biting his bottom lip. “Attaboy!” He planted the ax back into the table, earning a glare from Rick as he walked back towards the driver’s seat.

There was silence and then the rumble of the engine. As they started making the drive towards wherever Negan was taking them, Lexa found herself in a staring match with Rick again. She imagined she looked just as bad as he did – she could feel the blood on her face. She saw him glance down at her hands and she knew what he was looking at. She tightened her grip on Lucille.

Whatever fog was clouding her brain before had cleared up and Lexa suddenly realized what was happening around her. She looked down at the bat in her hands and began to feel a rush of regret. This was the feeling she didn’t want again, not the killing – the regret. That day in the past when she reached her breaking point, she never wanted to feel like that again. Her breathing was becoming erratic but she tried her best to control it – she didn’t want Negan to think she was weak. Her hands were shaking as she lifted the bat and placed it gently onto the table. The blood from the bat began to seep into the wood. She looked back up at Rick who was now watching her with a look of sympathy. This just simply made her more upset. She definitely didn’t need Rick seeing her like this.

She wanted to run away.

Her legs were like jelly as she pushed herself out of the booth and her mind was empty as she grabbed Lucille again. She made her way towards the passenger seat. She flopped down into the chair unceremoniously, holding the bat in her lap. She could see Negan staring at her out of the corner of her eye but she just stared blankly out the window silently for the rest of the drive.

She didn’t know how long they drove was this time but she was shaken out of her hypnotic state when the RV came to a sudden stop. She glanced over slightly as Negan got up and walked towards the back. Lexa didn’t turn around to watch but just sat there, drained, with the side of her head leaning against the back of the seat.

“We’re here, prick.” She heard Negan say. He scoffed and Lexa thought she heard him opening cabinet doors.

“This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been king shit for so long. Losin’ two of your own like…” He snapped his fingers twice. “Gettin’ ‘em clipped like that, one nut, then the other – and in front of your boy? That is some screwed-up shit!”

Lexa turned her body just slightly, allowing her to peer over the edge of the chair.

Negan was opening up another of the cabinets before he found something he seemed to be searching for. It was a bottle of what looked like hydrogen peroxide, but Lexa couldn’t tell from so far away.

“You were in charge.” She saw him grab a nearby rag and he lifted the ax out of the table. “Hell…” he rubbed the blood onto Rick’s jacket earning a look of disgust from Rick. “…you were probably addicted to it.”

“And now, well - clip, clip, that’s over.” He wiped the head of the ax clean with the rag before sitting down in the seat across from Rick.

“But you can still lead a nice, productive life producing for me.” Negan held the now-clean ax out towards Rick who was staring up the man.

Rick didn’t move. “I think you’re gonna need it.” Negan reiterated. “I just got a feelin’.”

When Rick continued to just sit there, Negan released a sigh and his calm demeanor changed. Lexa was realizing just how easily Negan could manipulate people.

“So take it.” Negan growled. Rick reached up quickly and snatched it out of Negan’s hand reluctantly.

Negan clapped his hands on his legs before shooting up out of the seat and walking towards Lexa.

“I’ll take her back now, doll.” He said softly, looking down at her.

Lexa glanced up at him quickly before handing over Lucille to her rightful owner. He grabbed the handle, their hands brushed faintly, sending a wave of confusing emotions through Lexa. She stared down at her feet as he walked away.

Negan was quiet for a moment and then he released a breath.

“Alright, let’s go!” He suddenly grabbed Rick by the collar, yanking him out of his seat and proceeded to shove him out of the door before following.

Lexa just sat in the passenger seat for a moment, watching Negan drag Rick back towards his group from the window. She didn’t want to get up. She watched the show Negan was putting on but tuned out the noise. She scanned the crowd from her seat before her eyes fell onto Simon. He was looking between Negan and the door of the RV. He was looking for her. Her chest tightened before she released a shaky breath and slowly stood up. She knew she couldn’t go out of the door to the RV - it would just draw attention to her and away from Negan. She looked around for another way out and didn’t find one that wouldn’t include climbing out of a window. She sighed to herself and made her way towards the driver’s side window and opened it. It was small, but just large enough for her to snake her way out without just falling out of it. She rounded the front of the RV slowly. Luckily, everyone’s attention was drawn towards the center of the area because of Rick’s crying and yelling. Lexa continued walking around the back of the Saviors towards Simon and watched the scene.

Negan was leaning over the kid from before who was now lying face down on the ground. Rick was kneeling next to him, a crying mess and holding his ax above his kid’s arm. Lexa couldn’t hear what Negan was saying from this far back but she could tell he was taunting the poor man harshly. She thought she saw Rick break before, but now she knew he was truly broken. Her heart hurt for the man – this was a shitty way to gain his allegiance, even for Negan.

Lexa slowed down her walk to just stare at Negan. She knew he wasn’t a nice man – she hadn’t lied to herself that much. She knew the Savior’s did some unsavory things, but now her eyes were wide open. For the first time since meeting the man, Lexa found herself actually scared of Negan. Thankfully, just as Rick was raising the ax to make the cut, Negan stopped him. Lexa let out a sigh of relief, earning her a confused stare from a nearby Savior. She glared at him harshly before continuing her way towards Simon.

She could still hear Negan taunting Rick but she tried her best to tune it out, she just focused her eyes on Simon and forced her feet to keep moving. She eventually snaked her way through the vehicles and people and slid in next to Simon. He jumped a little at her presence, obviously not expecting her to just silently be standing next to him. She didn’t say anything and instead opted to focus on what was happening.

Lexa wasn’t sure why, but she found herself gently sliding her hand into his, earning a glance from the man beside her. She just looked up at him from the corner of her eye and interlocked their fingers. He didn’t say anything but the surprise on his face turned to a look of sympathy as he gently squeezed her hand in his. Her hand felt so small in his, and Lexa was amazed at how this small gesture helped a great deal. They both looked back towards Negan as he raised his voice.

“Today was a productive damn day!” He said, following it with a sigh. “Now, I hope, for all your sake, that you get it now. That you understand how things work.”

There was a silence as the exhausted group simply sat there, the situation settling in their minds.

“Things have changed.” Negan continued. “Whatever you had going for you, that is over now.” He chuckled.

Negan looked up for a moment and locked eyes with Lexa. She felt her heart stop, hoping he couldn’t see her holding hands with Simon. Lexa felt Simon shift slightly next to her. Negan turned his head quickly though, off towards the right.

“Dwight!” He called out. “Load him up.” He pointed towards Daryl with Lucille.

Daryl was quickly grabbed by Dwight. He tried to fight him off but it was to no avail and he was forcefully shoved back into the truck Dwight had brought him in. The doors were left open, allowing everyone in his group to see their friend trapped. Dwight was keeping him there by threatening him with his own bow. Lexa, once again, was glad that the Saviors had found her by herself that time. As the doors closed, the attention was brought back to Negan who was now kneeling down next to Rick.

“He’s got guts – not a little bitch like someone I know. I like him. He’s mine now.” Negan taunted. “But you still want to try something? ‘Not today, not tomorrow.’ Not today, not tomorrow?” Negan asked incredulously. “I will cut pieces off of…hell’s his name?” Negan looked up at Simon.

Simon looked over at the truck for a moment, trying to remember.

Lexa whispered the name, barely audible.

“Daryl.” Simon said matter-of-factly as he squeezed Lexa’s hand in thanks.

“Wow.” Negan chuckled. “That actually sounds right.” He brought his attention back to Rick. “I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep – or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me.”

Negan sat there, kneeling next to Rick for a moment with a smile plastered to his face. He gave Rick a pat on the back and then jumped up to his feet.

“Ahh! Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits!” He called out to Rick’s group. “I’m gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you’re gonna find me.” Negan began walking towards his own truck, swinging Lucille up onto his shoulder. “We’ll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then, ta-ta.” He called out over his shoulder.

The Saviors around them began filing out. Simon started walking towards his truck, still holding Lexa’s hand firmly. She glanced up towards where Negan had walked off and saw him staring from the driver’s seat of his truck. His eyes were dark, and Lexa couldn’t tell if it was just her mind playing tricks on her, but she thought she saw him grin before he drove off.

They reached Simon’s truck and he opened the passenger door for her. The other Savior’s who had rode with them before were walking towards the back but Simon told them to catch another ride. Lexa was thankful for his kindness. He shuffled his way over to the driver’s side and turned on the truck. They sat there for a moment in the silence, watching the other vehicles drive away.

“Take me home, please.” Lexa said quietly. She found her own voice to be pitiful.

She didn’t look at Simon but she could feel him staring at her as he began driving them towards Sanctuary. She scooted over towards him and leaned her head against his shoulder. She didn’t remember closing her eyes, but she eventually fell victim to her exhaustion and drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading a lot of Simon fanfics lately. Oops~ :O but what will this mean for our story? Tune in next time for "I haven't developed the plot that far ahead yet!"


	13. Chapter 13

Lexa turned over, pulling a blanket up to her chin. She was aroused from her sleep by the sound of quiet cursing by the foot of the bed. She sat up, rubbing her eyes softly to adjust her vision to the room around her. It was similar to her own – drab, grey walls and one large window on the opposite wall. The furniture in this was certainly better than her own, especially the bed she was on. There was a dining table in front of the window and seated in one of the chairs was Simon, trying his best to discreetly open a snack bag of some sort.

“Trouble?” Lexa asked lightheartedly. She stifled a yawn.

Simon looked up at her and then laughed as he placed the bag back on the table.

“Sorry if I woke you.” He said, earning him a head shake from Lexa.

Lexa stretched her arms over her head and stepped out of the bed. She was wearing a set of her own pajamas, which confused her. She asked Simon as she joined him at the table.

“It’s been two days since that night, and you were covered in blood when we got here so I went over to your place and got you some new clothes. Your old ones should be down in laundry still.” He slid the now-open snack bag towards the middle of the table. “Sorry for having to undress you.” Simon apologized.

Lexa waved it off. “You’ve seen me in less.” She laughed, recalling the last time she was in Negan’s room.

He got up to get her a glass of water. Setting it down in front of her, Lexa shot him a smile of thanks and they quietly ate.

After the bag was emptied, Lexa took a deep breath.

“Can I ask the obvious question?” She clasped her fingers around her cup.

“Why have you been in my room for two days?” Simon correctly guessed. Lexa gave him a nod.

He gave a deep sigh, downing the rest of whatever was in his own glass before speaking. “Well, based on how you looked that night when you guys got back I figured you didn’t want to be alone – at least I hoped so, otherwise this would be very awkward. But I also figured you didn’t want to see Negan anytime soon either, so, I brought you here.” He stood up and placed his glass in the nearby sink. “Just in case, ya know?” He affirmed.

Lexa chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, her head nodding slowly.

There were crickets chirping outside as the silence dragged on.

“Has he come by?” Lexa finally spoke.

“Yeah. He saw me carry you into my room when we got back that morning. He didn’t say anything, but I caught him glancing at us as he walked by. He also came by for a bit yesterday afternoon too, but I told him you already left.” Simon rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll probably be getting’ shit for it but, whatever.”

“Thank you, Simon.” Lexa smiled softly at him. He returned the gesture.

The comfortable silence between the two returned. They could barely hear the sounds of people outside beginning their work. The only other sound besides their breathing was the faint drip of the water faucet in the room.

“I don’t know what to do.” Lexa said quietly, staring into her cup.

“What do you mean?”

“Did Negan tell you what happened when we left in the RV?”

Simon shook his head. “No, but based on the state of your clothes and Rick’s? I’d say you guys did a whole lot of killin’.”

“It was…crazy. That’s the only word I can think of to describe it. There were so many of them, and I was so blood-crazed. Hell, I even got him to let me use Lucille!” She gripped the cup tighter.

“He let you use it?” Simon said, shocked.

“I think it was more of a spur-of-the moment thing, than him just letting me use her. He could tell what kind of state of mind I was in I guess – I needed to kill something.” Lexa sighed. “Also I think he wanted to see me unravel.”

“So, what’s bothering you then?” Simon asked.

Lexa let out a shaky breath.

“Simon, I liked it. And I’m terrified of it at the same time.” She let out a deep breath, calming herself. “When I’m like that I feel invincible, like it’s just me versus the world. And I love that feeling – that high. But the aftermath? That’s the worst part. I suppose I’m afraid that Negan will push me so far over the edge that I’ll never be able to come back from it. That he’ll push me farther back into that world I tried so hard to run away from.” Lexa deflated, laying her head on the table.

“Well, shit.” Simon moved to kneeled down next to the table, eye-to-eye with Lexa. “I’m not really good with the whole ‘consoling’ thing, but, I think this is something you can’t really decide overnight. Negan is a stubborn man. Hell, I wasn’t always the man I am today. Negan changed that. For me it was for the better – I was a shitty guy before all this and now I’m a shitty guy with some authority.” Simon let out a huff of later along with Lexa. “Just see what happens in the next few days and eventually you’ll find the answer to what you need to do. If not, well, I’m always here for you to talk to.” Simon gripped her shoulder.

Lexa lifted her head high enough to smile at him. She was grateful for his comfort – even if it didn’t give her the answer she was looking for.

“You know what we need?” Simon grunted as he stood up. “Food. It’s almost breakfast and if we leave now we’ll probably be close to the front of the line.”

Lexa laughed in agreement and followed him out. They stopped at her room on the way for her to change into some clothes before heading down to the cafeteria.

/////

“Wait, he tried to get your help in escaping?!” Simon barked, his mouth full with a piece of bacon.

The cafeteria was quiet, but not in an uncomfortable way. People were slowly making their way into the large room, some still shaking off sleep. It was calm and Lexa appreciated the feeling. Her and Simon were sitting at one of the smaller dining tables near a side door – an easy escape if needed, Simon told her. It was apparently his favorite spot to sit in.

“Yeah. I mean, I played along for a bit but Negan noticed too quickly for it to really pan out.” Lexa took a sip of her water. “I wonder how far I could have gone.” She questioned absent-mindedly.

It was about half-way through the morning rush. The door they were seated next to swung open. Lexa didn’t have to guess about who was behind it as the room suddenly quieted down. Many people scrambled out of their chairs and to their knees, others simply hung their heads down.

Lexa held her breath. She wasn’t ready yet. She looked up at Simon who gave her a look which said ‘I’m here.’ It helped, but not by much. Simon stood up from his seat as Negan glanced behind the door – he must also know that this is where Simon sits, Lexa thought. Negan stared down at Lexa who quickly averted her gaze. He wasn’t wearing his jacket and was instead just sporting his white shirt – it was very difficult for her to keep her head down.

“Hey, Simon, gather everyone up in the garage. I think it’s time to plan our next trip out to our new friends.” He patted Simon on the shoulder before heading towards the food counter.

As he was walking back, plate in hand, he stopped in the open door.

“While you’re at it, bring her along too.” Lexa’s head shot up, her eyes meeting with his. He didn’t say anything more before walking out.  

The room itself seemed to deflate as everyone slowly got back to their conversations and their food.

Lexa looked towards Simon for answers. He gave her a look that said he didn’t know either.

“Guess we better get going, yeah?” Simon asked, grabbing his tray.

Lexa took a deep breath and stared at her plate. She hadn’t even finished her meal yet. She remembered the rations she had stored under her bed and made a mental note to eat one of those later. She nodded silently and forced herself up onto her feet. After throwing away their trash and heading towards the larger, main door, Simon called out to someone who walked by.

“Hey, Arat!” He jogged out the door to catch up, running around the corner.

Lexa had never talked to Arat. She only ever saw her in the Savior’s training area every so often. She admired her, honestly. She was tough, and a great fighter. If Lexa ever got the chance to have a sparring partner, she had always hoped to maybe have it be Arat. As she got closer, Simon looked between the two.

“Oh, Arat, this is Lexa. Lexa, Arat.” He made quick introductions.

“Hey.” Arat said sharply, holding out her hand.

“Nice to meet you.” Lexa shook it, smiling in response. “Don’t believe we’ve actually met yet.”

“Nah, I’m usually out on the supply runs. Can’t complain though, I get to travel a lot so I mean.” She shrugged casually. “I’ve heard about you though.” She jabbed Simon in the side, earning a laugh from Lexa.

“Yeah, yeah. Well Arat here just got a hell of a promotion since Paula died.” Simon jabbed back.

“Hey, I earned this promotion. I could still kick your ass any day, Simon.” She punched him lightly in the arm. “Anyways, guess I’ll see you in the garage, yeah?” She asked Simon.

“Yeah, if you run into anyone else, let them know.” Simon replied.

Arat nodded in response and gave a quick wave to the pair before heading towards the garage.

Simon just huffed, a smile forming on his face. He waved at Lexa to follow him outside before he pulled out his radio. He made a quick broadcast to the Saviors – something Lexa thought Negan could have just done himself. When he was finished they walked the long way towards the garage.

“So Arat seems fun.” Lexa said with a laugh.

“If by fun you mean ‘could kill you in many different, crazy ways’ then yeah – she’s fun.” He gave her a look which said he had seen some shit.

‘Guess we have something in common then.’ Lexa thought to herself.

They walked along the side of the factory, and up the staircase which lead to the second level of the garage. As they reached the top of the stairs they could hear the sound of all the Saviors inside. Lexa stopped in front of the door. Simon came up beside her and gave her a crooked smile.

“You gonna be alright?” He asked.

“Why did he ask me to come to the meeting?” Lexa blurted out quickly. The question had been burning in her brain the whole time.

Simon just shrugged his shoulder. “I’ve been his second for a long time now, but I still have no idea what goes on in that head of his.”

Lexa simply nodded slowly – she really had no other choice except to accept whatever would happen. Simon opened the door, allowing Lexa to enter first. The smell of tires and gasoline immediately burned her nose as she stepped out into the room. They were on the catwalk above everyone, giving her a good view of the crowd. Although there were many people in the room, her eyes locked with his immediately. She knew she wouldn’t be able to hide from Negan, even up here. Simon placed a hand along her back, leading her down the stairs to the floor. When they reached the bottom he left her near the back of the room to go join Negan up front. Lexa found a stack of three large tires and jumped up to sit on them. If she had to be here, she certainly wasn’t going to stand the whole time. After a few more minutes, Negan finally spoke up.

“Alright, gonna assume this is everyone and we can finally begin!” He yelled out.

The room instantly quieted.

“Right. So, let’s get straight to business. As many of you are aware, we now have a new community we’re dealing with – Alexandria.” He rolled the name off his tongue. “Now, I gave their leader a fuckin’ great deal, really. He gets a week to collect shit for us! That being said, we’re giving him a visit in two days.”

There was a low chuckle from many of the Saviors present – this wasn’t the first time they had done this.

“Now I know many of you were there the night we dealt with this group, so if you were part of that team then this is voluntary. It was a pretty damn tiring night if I do say so myself. Other than that, if you weren’t there that night then I expect you to be ready to go tomorrow.” Negan looked down at his desk at something Lexa couldn’t see. “We’ll be leaving immediately after dinner, so make sure you kiddies eat. Then we’re gonna camp out near the town, gather everyone up and hit the town the next day, got it?” Negan looked out amongst the crowd of nodding heads.

Lexa was kicking her feet against the tires, bouncing them playfully. She imagined she looked like a child who was waiting for their parents to finish talking with their friends. She really just wanted to leave.

“Oh! Right, one more thing.” He laughed. “Almost fucking forgot. Just wanted to let you fine folks know that we have a new Savior-in-training, Lexa Sawyer!”


	14. Chapter 14

The garage which was once quiet, was now filled with a murmur of surprise from many of the Saviors. There were a few who were closest to Lexa who were offering their congratulations. Many who knew her were confused, but also elated to see her go up in the world.

Lexa struggled to maintain her balance on the stack of tires she was seated on. Surely she had heard him wrong? She tried to shrink herself away from all of the faces – it felt like a thousand eyes all staring right at her. What was only a few seconds had felt like years.

“You fuckers plan on leaving any time soon?” Negan’s rough voice was dripping with annoyance.

With that order, the Saviors began quickly shuffling their way out of the various exits of the garage. Suddenly the room was quiet. Simon and Arat had stayed behind, they were standing next to Negan on his little stage of pallets. All three of them were staring at Lexa, who was still hiding in the shadows.

“I just gave you a hell of a promotion. You gonna sit back there, or are you going to come thank me?” Negan leaned back against a railing behind him.

Lexa wanted to smack the grin off his face. She didn’t say anything but forced her legs to carry herself over to him.

“Negan, you sure?” Simon asked.

“Worried about your girlfriend?” Arat laughed.

A hesitant laugh escaped Simon, who was avoiding eye-contact with Negan. Lexa flitted her eyes between her feet and Negan. She knew he would have known she was with Simon this whole time – he wasn’t that dumb. It’s not that she didn’t think the idea of being Simon’s girlfriend was a bad one necessarily; they got along great and he was – so far – a great listener. But it was the mystery and danger that Negan seemed to offer that intrigued her more. She tried to push those thoughts out of her head.

“Alright you two, get out of here, yeah?” Negan said. It was less of a question and more of an order.

Arat was the first to leave, followed by Simon who gave Lexa one, long look before heading out.

The room was once again quiet. Negan and Lexa simply stared at one another.

The silence was broken by Negan suddenly pushing himself back to his feet, standing tall above Lexa.

“Walk with me.” He ordered. Lexa followed quietly behind him out the door.

They stepped out of the door on the main floor. Lexa shielded her eyes, adjusting to the shift in light. Negan was chatting to her aimlessly about the weather and such. Lexa was too busy keeping up with his long strides to pay attention to what he was actually saying to her. As they walked, people were staring, kneeling. She was walking next to Negan – THE Negan, and she wasn’t uncomfortable. She felt, despite the stares and the whispers, like she was meant to be there. There was still a small part of her that was hoping for the two of them to walk around a hidden corner – she was pulling on the edge of her shirt.

There was a commotion on the fence line and Lexa could see many of the prisoners in their dingy sweat suits being put to work. She never thought too much of them when she arrived. She knew immediately what kind of place Sanctuary was before she even got there. This wasn’t a nice community. But that was okay, she thought. Despite how the place was run, and despite the kinds of things Negan did in order to run this place, Lexa still never once thought badly about the place she now called home.

Lexa could feel herself pulling behind Negan as they walked through a door and up a set of stairs. Were these thoughts her answer to her dilemma? Perhaps. She was knocked out of her thoughts when Negan opened a squeaky door at the top of the stairs. When they emerged they were now on the roof of one of the parts of the factory that overlooked the main gate. There was a Savior down on the other end of the roof. He glanced at the two of them and tried his best to discreetly go around a corner to get away.

There was a comfortable silence between Negan and Lexa – despite her inner turmoil.

“Sorry for springing that surprise on you in front of the crowd like that.” Negan broke the silence.

Lexa stared up at the man quickly. An apology is not what she had expected from him. Her face must have revealed her thoughts to him because he continued.

“I heard quite a few of the Saviors wondering why the fuck you were even out with the rest of us that night. And after seeing how you handled yourself in that herd of biters, I figured I could kill two birds with one stone – shut those assholes up, AND see you more often!” Negan let out a quick laugh with his last statement.

Lexa glanced away from him and then walked over to the railing on the side of the roof. She leaned on it, looking down at the people below her.

“Makes since, I suppose.” She said quietly.

She could hear him stepping closer to her.

“Oh yeah, that whole, Lucille thing? Never fucking happening again, you got it? That was a one-time event.” He stared down at her with a mock-glare. She could see the edges of his lips trying their best not to curl. “It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, ya know? The atmosphere was right for it. That and the way you looked at me and her, ooh! I’m tellin’ you, doll, now that was some hot shit right there. You had a fire in your eyes!” Negan leaned back, his hands holding on to the railing with a tight grip – now he was smiling.

Lexa found herself smiling. She wasn’t lying when she told Simon that although she was scared of going down that path again, she definitely did enjoy it in the moment.

“Yeah, I get it.” Lexa looked up at him. “No offence to Lucille, but I’m better with my knives anyways. She’s just a bit too messy for my liking.” This earned a wink from Negan at which Lexa just rolled her eyes.

She missed this. The small-talk between the two of them. She was worried about seeing Negan again because she wasn’t sure if they would have the same chemistry they had that night she danced in his room.

“So…” She began softly.

“Hm?”

“What about my job as an electrician?” She asked lightly.

Negan smiled, clicking his tongue before laughing.

“Yeah, this place was running before you got here. I think it’ll be fine without your expertise.” Negan leaned back down onto the railing. “However, I won’t force this decision on you, you know that right? Just come with us on this little trip, and if you don’t like it, you can just go back to being an electrician.” Negan turned to look at her, letting out a small chuckle. “I mean shit, doll, it’s not like I’m askin’ you to marry me – unless you’d rather do that.”

Lexa just smiled, shaking her head and blowing off the last statement. She ran her hands through her hair, putting it up in a ponytail. They stood there, next to each other, admiring the view before them in the same comfortable silence from before. Her head began nodding slowly before she even began speaking up.

“Alright. I haven’t been an electrician for almost four days now and the place hasn’t exploded yet. What’s the harm in trying out for another job?” She looked up at him, giving him a smile and earning one in return.

“Well hot damn! That’s the answer I wanted right there.” Negan slapped his hands against the railing.

Lexa grinned wide before taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you this whole time.” Lexa began, turning her gaze away from him again. “After the experience with Rick, outside that RV, I just kind of shut down, I guess. Had to shake myself out of the rush in a way. I’m just, scared, I guess? Of going back down that road.” She gripped the railing. “I think I know what I want to do, but what if I can’t come back from it again?”

She looked up at him through her eyelashes. He was staring off into the distance.

He took a deep breath. “While this may come as a surprise, I don’t have all the answers. But, no matter what you do – or who you become – I do miss the time we used to spend together. And whether we spend that time just chatting and drinking like before, or going on killing sprees together, I’ll accept you no matter how you are, you got that?” He looked at her with a seriousness which went straight to her heart, causing it to skip a beat.

She nodded her head at him. He nodded back.

“Can we spend a bit more time up here?” Lexa asked.

Negan placed an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. Lexa didn’t know how this would end but she knew one thing – no matter what happened, this was where she belonged. Whatever that meant for her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize the timing on this chapter is a little messed up. I finished Chapter 14 before I got to Season 7 of my re-watch. After the episode "The Cell" which this one covered, I realized I timed their return a bit too quickly, but I think I made up for it. We'll just assume Daryl got broken very easily. I also really wanted to better describe how Lexa looks because I didn't really talk much about her appearance very early on. Anyways, enjoy!

 

It was almost the beginning of dinner in the Sanctuary. Lexa chose to eat the food she still had stashed away in her room in order to prepare for her first day out as a Savior. Simon had told her that morning that everyone was meeting in the garage to go over who was riding with who, so she had to finish quickly if she didn’t want to get stuck in a crowded vehicle. He also brought the stuff they took from her when she first arrived. Lexa absent mindedly placed her hands on the two hip holsters which housed her combat knives. She never realized how much she missed the feel of them tied around her thighs until now, it was like a piece of her was missing.

She finished lacing her old combat boots up and looked at herself in her mirror – she managed to snag herself a nice full-sized mirror the other day with whatever points she still had left. She broke out a new pair of black skinny jeans, tucking the ends into her boots. She tied a green button-up shirt around her waist; it reminded her of her favorite military jacket she wore when she first met Negan, but the weather wasn’t cold enough for her to bring that along. She adjusted the neck on the cropped turtleneck top she had on, it was finally warming up again for her to wear it and she wasn’t missing this chance. She smudged a small amount of black eyeliner along her top lid, just to accent her green eyes – she loved the way her tanned skin made her eye color pop and she wanted to enhance that. Putting the final touches on her hair together, she glanced around the room for anything else she would need. She had her hair in a mohawk braid down the back of her head. It was a style she hadn’t done since the world fell apart and she greatly missed dressing up.

“Still early.” Lexa said to herself, looking at the clock on her wall. It had only been 45 mins so she still had a little over an hour to kill.

She decided to go down to the factory floor, to see if there was anything she wanted to get when they got back from their trip. Now that she wouldn't need to bother with points, she was going to do some window shopping. She decided to take a shortcut, going out the emergency exit at the end of the hall and going down the fire escape. There was an alley between the housing section of the factory and the main floor. As she got closer to the corner she could hear the sound of someone busting a door open very quickly and the patter of bare feet. She slammed her back against the wall, her hand ready to pull her knife if needed. Glancing around the corner she spotted a man in one of the grungy, worker sweat suits. When he turned around she quickly recognized the man as the Alexandria prisoner, Daryl. She pitied him, of course, but also knew there was nothing she could do – he was Negan’s prisoner and from what she had heard from others after the meeting yesterday, a Savior candidate. Just as she was about to creep around the corner, to stop him from fully escaping, a voice came up behind her.

“Not yet.” Negan whispered into her ear aggressively.

Lexa jumped back onto the wall, clutching her chest.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that, for fucks sake.” She glared up at him, earning a smile.

The other doors in the alley burst open. Lexa could hear a group of men exit.

“Come on.” Negan ordered.

They rounded the corner, Lexa a step behind Negan. He was whistling a jaunty tune. She could see Daryl freeze in place, like a rabbit caught in a trap. Negan lifted Lucille, placing her onto his shoulder and glanced back at Lexa. He held up his free hand. Lexa stood still, just outside the circle as Negan continued.

“Are we pissing our pants yet?” The venom dripped from his lips.

Negan stared Daryl down, sucking on his teeth.

“Who are you?” He asked, pointing Lucille over his shoulder towards Fat Joey.

“Negan.” Joey answered confidently.

“Who are you?” Negan’s eyes were still on Daryl, but Lucille was pointed at Lexa.

She knew what hesitating would do in this situation. Lexa straightened her shoulders, raised her chin and spoke confidently.

“Negan.”

Lexa could see the dimples forming on his face, even from behind him.

“Who are you?” He raised his free hand.

The Saviors who surrounded Daryl all responded in unison.

“You see that?” Negan chuckled. “I am everywhere. And this was your shot to prove to me that that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you failed. Which sucks, because your life was about to get _so_ much cooler. Am I right?”

“Damn right.” Joey answered happily.

Negan dropped the end of Lucille next to Daryl’s foot, causing him to step back. He did it again with his other foot, playing with the man. Negan let out a laugh from the back of his throat, running a hand down his face.

“Now, Dwight gave you some options.” Negan let out a sigh. “I don’t think you get it yet. So I’m gonna break it down for you. You get three choices. One, you wind up on the spike and you work for me as a dead man. Two, you get out of your cell, you work for points, but you’re gonna wish you were dead. Or three, you work for me, you get yourself a brand-new pair of shoes, and you live like a king! Choice seems pretty obvious.”

Lexa could see Daryl weighing his options. She was silently pleading for him to make the right choice, he seemed like a good asset to have.

“You should know,” Negan continued. “There is no door number four. This is it. This is the only way.” The smile Negan had didn’t reach his eyes.

He chuckled darkly.

“Screw it.” Negan quickly lunged forward, Lucille stopping in the air next to Daryl’s face.

Daryl didn’t even flinch, even as Negan was face-to-face with him.

“Wow! You don’t scare easy.” Negan took a step back, surprised. “I love that. But Lucille…” Negan leaned forward, lowering his voice. “Well, it kind of pisses her off. She finds it to be disrespectful. Lucky for you, she’s not feeling too thirsty today.”

Negan was once again face-to-face with Daryl. His face grew dark and Lexa could feel the tension rising between the two men.

“But I am. So…” Negan said darkly. “I am gonna go get me a drink!” He yelled out playfully, biting his tongue.

Lexa found herself glowering at the man with her arms crossed at his ridiculousness. He started walking back towards her, laughing. As he stepped out of the circle of men, they all began getting closer to Daryl. Negan began whistling the same tone from the night in the woods and the men began their attack.

“Let’s go.” Negan said, motioning Lexa to follow.

////

“ _I am gonna go get me a drink!_ ” Lexa did her best Negan impression. “You’re a fucking dork.” She was trying to contain her laughter enough to take a sip of her drink.

The two had gone up to Negan’s room – after a quick stop on the factory floor for some whiskey. They still had about thirty minutes before they needed to begin heading down towards the garage.

“Yeah yeah, don’t mock the boss, sweetheart.” Negan was giving Lexa a side eye but his mouth was trying very hard to contain his smile behind his glass.

Negan was sitting at his desk, finishing up some work, while Lexa was sprawled out on his couch. She let out a lighthearted giggle.

“Mhm, I apologize for mocking the boss.” She said sarcastically, getting off the couch. She took her glass over towards the sink in the bathroom to rinse it out.

“You ready for your first day out?” He asked, watching her walk out of the bathroom.

She shrugged her shoulders, mumbling an ‘I don’t know.’

“Well shit, if you an Arat are gonna be my fuckin bodyguards, I really would appreciate you bein' ready.”

“Wait, body guard? Me?” Lexa was shocked. She went and stood near his desk, leaning her hip on it.

“Arat is one of my best fighters, hence her being my personal Savior in a way.” Lexa hummed in agreement to this. “And with you, while I know you’re, uh, talented with a knife, this is also your first time out with us in a fighting position instead of an observer.” Negan finally looked away from his desk. “It’ll be a mutual thing, you make sure I don’t die and I’ll make sure you don’t.”

Lexa’s eyes widened. She was surprised, of course, but she nodded her head. It made sense at least.

“Although, damn girl, it’s going to be real fuckin hard to concentrate with that outfit you got on.” Negan was eyeing her up, a laugh echoing through his chest.

“Oh hush.” Lexa, playfully swatted his shoulder before unconsciously crossing her hands over her midriff.

“Hey now, no need to cover that up. You look damn fine. Own it.” He said seriously.

Lexa’s breath hitched as they stared at one another. She lowered her arms, fidgeting with the shirt tied at her waist. Negan raised his hand, moving it towards her. He was staring at her intensely, as if asking for permission. Lexa’s nod was subtle, but he seemed to have caught it as his hand brushed along her hip softly. Goosebumps formed on her skin as she was gently pulled closer to him, their eyes never breaking contact. She sat on the edge of his desk in front of him, his hand still on her. She was too busy trying to calm her heart that she didn’t notice his other hand moving towards her side. Instead of the warm touch of skin, however, she felt the distinct coolness of metal. The scraping sound against her skin told her what it was without her even looking. She glanced down, trying not to jump lest she risked cutting herself.

“N-Negan. What are you-“ Lexa let out a shaky breath.

Negan hushed her by moving the blade of his knife towards her navel.

Just as he was about to answer her, static came over his radio on the other side of the room.

“ _Everyone’s pretty much here already if you want to start leaving, Boss_.” Simon’s voice echoed through the room.

Negan groaned, slamming the knife into the desk next to Lexa's hand. She didn't flinch. 

“If this man doesn’t stop fucking cockblocking me, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Negan leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair.

Lexa pulled the knife out of his desk, handing it back to him.

“Then you’d have so much work to do.” She smiled, placing her hand on his and removing it from her side.

She slid off his desk and, finding her footing again, started making her way towards the door.

“We better head on down.” Lexa looked back him. He was putting his jacket back on. “Maybe…we could finish this when we get back?”

Negan’s head shot up so fast that Lexa could hear his neck crack. Lexa opened the door, stifling a laugh with her hand.

“See you downstairs, Negan.” She called out as she closed the door.

////

Lexa was sitting in the garage on the back of a truck talking with Arat. Arat had told Lexa she was going to be driving Negan to Alexandria and that there was room in the truck for one more if Lexa wanted to tag along. Lexa had quickly realized that there was a major difference between "field" Arat and "social" Arat. Lexa had seen how she was in the field simply by how she acted when training with the other Saviors in the yard. It was nice to see this other side of her and she hoped that they would become good friends. Lexa was showing Arat some photos on her - ever since Arat saw it sticking out of her pocket she was very curious. Lexa made sure to only show her pictures from before. While they were talking, Simon finally entered the garage. The garage itself was rather packed. Despite Negan telling everyone that the trip was voluntary, many of the people from the night before had showed up anyways.

“If you haven’t already gotten your seating arrangement, you’re gonna be stuck in the shit-mobile so you better get to it people!” Simon yelled out.

“Do you think he knows that he’s not going yet?” Arat whispered into Lexa’s ear.

Lexa, while trying to contain her laughter, ended up barking out a laugh anyways. A messenger had come into the garage earlier letting Arat know that Simon was being sent to visit Hilltop after everyone else had left.

“Poor man.” Lexa mocked sadly.

“Who’s a poor man?” Simon asked, coming up beside them. He wiped off the sweat from his brow.

“You.” Arat said proudly. “Turns out you’re going to Hilltop, big man.” She saluted him playfully.

Simon just stood there, dumbfounded.

“You’re shitting me.” He huffed.

Just as Simon was about to pull out his radio to call Negan, the man himself waltzed into the room. Everyone got on the ground, Lexa included. Never did she think she would kneel before someone – at least not in a bedroom situation – but now, after being here for so long she found it normal. Negan commanded respect, it simply felt wrong not to honor that.

‘ _If my mother could see me today.’_ Lexa chuckled to herself.

With a wave of his hand everyone rose back to their feet. Following Negan was Dwight who was pushing along a beaten Daryl. The two men jumped into the back an open-topped military vehicle.

“Hope you fuckers are ready! Let’s get this show on the road!” Negan yelled out. Everyone scrambled to their vehicles.

He began walking towards his own truck, hopping into the passenger seat. Arat began walking after him.

“You comin’?” She called back to Lexa.

Lexa looked up at Simon who was sporting a rather childish pouty face. She patted him on the arm and gave him a soft smile, earning a lopsided grin in return, before walking towards Negan’s truck. Arat was ready in the driver’s seat and Negan in the passenger with Lucille seated in the middle. There was a small backseat area which Lexa squeezed her way into - thankful for once of her smaller body. She propped her legs up on the seat to stretch out. Negan turned his head to look back at her, noticing how she was seated, and a chuckled vibrated through his chest.

“Alright, Arat, let’s get going.” Negan banged on the roof of the truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cockblocking.


	16. Chapter 16

Lexa found herself relaxing in the back seat. It was odd for her to be traveling somewhere unknown and yet feel at ease. She accredited it to having her knives back and being surrounded by people who all knew how to handle themselves. She didn’t let herself fall asleep though – just in case, she told herself.

The ride itself was relatively silent. The windows were down, allowing a nice breeze throughout the truck. There was music playing through the speakers – Negan put in a CD but Lexa wasn’t paying it much attention. Negan was humming along to it which made up for that. Lexa was leaning her arm on the back of Negan’s seat and found herself absent-mindedly making circles with her fingers lightly on his shoulder.  Negan didn’t draw attention to it verbally but Lexa noticed his head begin to lean towards her hand slightly as time went on.

About an hour in, after driving through various back roads and small towns, they came to a clearing in the woods. There were a few trucks already there and many of the Saviors were setting up tents and getting supplies ready for the night. There were two small fire pits being created, just enough to provide warmth and still have the light low enough to keep the dead from being attracted too much. Arat parked the truck near the end of the semicircle that had been formed by the other vehicles.

The sun was getting ready going past the horizon. The sky was a deep purple.

“Well! I am ready for dinner and getting some fuckin shut-eye.” Negan stretched out his long legs as best as he could in the seat. “Lexa, could you be a doll and find me something to eat?” Negan’s eyes were already closed, his hands clasped on his chest.

There was a grin plastered to his face to which Lexa glared at. Lexa looked over at Arat who responded with a shrug of her shoulders before readying her gun. Arat had already agreed to do the night shift before they got there and went straight into business-mode. Lexa knew that meant a much quieter companion.

Seeing as there was nothing else for her to do – and that he was technically her boss – Lexa began walking towards the group of supply trucks. There were still trucks coming into the clearing but it seemed as if most everyone had arrived. There was a small crowd at the supply trucks; people getting their dinner now if they didn’t eat back at the Sanctuary. Squeezing her way through the crowd Lexa couldn’t help but overhear chatter from the people around her. Most of it meaningless, but as she kept going she caught on to some conversations.

“Ain’t that the new girl?”

“Wasn’t she the electrician? The fuck is she doing out here?”

“She got promoted to a Savior ‘in-training’ yesterday, dumbass.”

“Heard she was at the round-up the other night.”

 “I mean she held out this long, right? Maybe she’s a good fighter.”

“I don’t know, I bet I could take her.”

“Apparently Negan’s taken a liking to her.”

“Of course he has. Look at her.”

Lexa’s vision dropped to her feet as she inwardly screamed at the line to hurry up. A part of her was willing to just go back to Negan and put up with his annoyance for the rest of the trip and another part of her wanted to skip the line, but she didn’t want to ignite more talk. Thankfully the person in front of her finally left and she shuffled to the table. The scraggly man running the line looked up at her, a spark of knowing showed on his face briefly before he went into the back of the truck. Lexa was confused. Slightly annoyed, but confused. She placed her hands on the table, drumming her fingers impatiently. She heard the murmurs building up again.

“Probably fucked her way up to the top.”

“Makes sense. Been here, what? A few months and she doesn’t even have to go on a test run?”

“No test run, AND she’s one of his guards?”

“She’s just another piece of ass for him. It won’t last.”

“She ain’t a wife, right?”

“Not yet anyways.”

“She fucks the boss, she gets the benefits. It’s the only reason she’s out here.”

“I wonder if the same rules about his wives apply to her.”

Lexa felt herself curling inward, the two voices were just off her to her right. They were low, probably expecting she wouldn’t hear that last bit, but Lexa had the unfortunate ability to tune into things she shouldn’t. Thankfully the scraggly man came back out of the truck with a package. It was different than the quick dinners that were laid out on the table for everyone else. This one was a box with a few different dinner options inside it.

“For Negan.” He held the box out to her.

Lexa couldn’t find the nerve to speak at the moment, opting to nod her head instead. She quickly grabbed the box, putting it under her arm and shoved her way through the crowd. She kept her head low, tuning out the voices this time. When she finally reached Negan’s truck he was sitting on the back, sharpening his knife. He must have heard her approaching because he yelled out without looking in her direction.

“Thought I was gonna have to starve to death out here, sweetheart.” He said lightly, placing his knife back in its holster.

When he turned around to look at her, the smile he had on his face dropped. His eyes grew dark. She must have figured her face told him everything she was trying desperately to hide. He didn’t say anything as she came close and placed the box next to him before going to sit in the driver’s seat. She pulled the sun visor down, opening up the mirror. Despite how dark it had become she could still see enough to know what Negan had noticed; all the blood had drained from her face and her eyes were watering. She hadn’t realized the opinions of the other Saviors mattered so much to her until she realized that many of them did think that she had special privilege. And she did. The thought drained her further. She slammed the mirror close and placed her arm over her face, laying her head back against the headrest.

“Care to explain anything?” Negan’s voice was quiet next to her.

She peered out from behind her arm. He was leaning against the door, his back to her. She could see him digging through a bag of trail mix. He only liked the m&m’s, she remembered.

“Not really.” Lexa took a deep breath. “But, you’re going to stand there until I tell you, aren’t you?”

“Yup.” He turned around, motioning for her to scoot over.

Lexa slid over to the passenger’s seat followed by Negan settling into the driver’s. He continued picking through the trail mix, offering some to Lexa. She took a few of the raisins, Negan’s least favorites.

“So…?” Negan asked impatiently.

“To make a long story short, let’s just say that a lot people are saying that I basically fucked my way into the Saviors.” Lexa leaned her arms onto the dashboard, laying her head on her arms and stared over at Negan. He was staring straight ahead, his expression hard to read.

“I apparently don’t seem like a fighter and the only reason I got to come out here without a test-run is because I am, quote, ‘just another piece of ass’ to you. Which is ridiculous since they have never seen me fight. I mean really, you wouldn’t put me out here if you didn’t think I could fight.” Lexa trailed on.

With that last statement he looked straight at her. His expression was enough to freeze her in place. He looked like he wanted blood.

“Please don’t go killing your men. We’re still gonna need them.” Lexa quickly tacked on, sitting back up.

“Do you believe them?” Negan asked.

“What?”

“Do you believe what those fuck-faces said? That you’re just a piece of ass to me?” Negan’s eyes bore into hers.

Lexa was silent, thinking it over. It wasn’t unreasonable for people to think the way they did. She did make it this far only because Negan took a liking to her. What made her upset was the fact that they think it’s because she is there because Negan and her are together. She knew, of course, that not everyone thought that way. She had plenty of friends within the Saviors who knew the kind of person she was – what she told them at least. But it was the fact that there were those who would rather assume before getting to know her that upset her.

“Well I mean, I get their point of view.” Negan stared at her. “Not what you asked, I know. But, that’s what it looks like to everyone. I mean, how else do you explain all the time we spend together? It hasn’t exactly gone unnoticed.”

It was now extremely dark outside and Lexa could only see an outline of Negan, backlit by the fire, and the shine of his eyes. Lexa knew the kind of man Negan was. She knew he wanted her - especially because of their last encounter in his office. She also knew he was very protective of things that are “his.” And if she knew the man, she knew that technically she was “his,” even if they weren’t officially a thing. That’s just the rules.

“But no, I don’t think I’m just a piece of ass to you, Negan.” Lexa sighed, moving closer towards him. “I mean shit, we haven’t even had sex.” She laughed to herself as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Yet.” Negan coughed, looking out the front window.

“What was that?” Lexa asked sarcastically.

“Nothing.” Negan’s response was answered with a light smack on the thigh.

Lexa yawned, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to her.

“If it’s alright with you, can I just go to sleep like this?” Lexa asked softly.

Negan hummed in approval, moving his arm to slide it around Lexa’s shoulders, pulling her in close. Lexa found herself smiling as she felt his hand making circles on her shoulder like she had done that afternoon. It was this side of Negan that Lexa found herself falling for. But there was still the thought of what Negan had said about the two of them that ran through her head throughout the night which made her think of other things.

///

Lexa was never a deep sleeper, so when she heard Arat trying to wake her up, she woke up immediately. Albeit grumpily.

“Comfy?” Arat asked seriously. Her eyes betrayed her tone however, she was glad to have caught the two.

“Oh hush.” Lexa gently maneuvered her way out of Negan’s grip. “I take it it’s my shift?”

Arat nodded her head, opening the door for Lexa to step out.

“A lot of people are starting to wake up so it shouldn’t be too hard. Just making sure no one wakes up the boss – he’s a shithead in the morning.” Arat angrily looked at the slumbering man. There was a story there.

As she started walking off to the back of the truck, Arat turned around to let Lexa know that she had some left over protein bars if she wanted them for breakfast. Lexa considered it – she was starving. Arat eventually slid into the back of the truck where she had a pile of blankets ready to go. The sun still wasn’t fully up yet but the birds were singing, signaling morning. Lexa stifled a yawn. She hated mornings.

///

After an hour or so had passed with nothing attempting to eat, wake, or annoy Negan, Lexa found herself getting bored by the minute. How Arat did this throughout the night was a mystery. The sunrise was finally showing through the trees making the forest sparkle with morning dew. Lexa whipped out her phone and waited impatiently for it to turn on. When it finally did she took some photos of the forest. She missed the ability to share them on social media, but perhaps they would come back some day.

She heard Negan shuffling inside the truck and she walked around to stand by the driver’s side door. Negan was now leaning against the door, his hair disheveled and his face soft. It was a sight Lexa had never seen but a small part of her wanted to see it every morning. Suddenly she had an idea – she could see it every morning…if she took a couple of pictures. She smiled slyly to herself.

She made sure the coast was clear. No one was around – dead or alive. She took her phone back out and got ready to take a photo. The lighting was right, the angle was good. Perfect.

CLICK!

Lexa froze, her eyes wide.

‘Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up.’ She prayed to herself.

When Negan didn’t move she finally let out her breath. She opened up her photo album to make sure she even got it. The photo was perfect, but it was just a bit blurry for her liking.

‘One more won’t hurt, right?’ She thought, making sure to turn off the sound on her phone this time.

She readied the camera again, getting close to his face.

“If you take one more photo, I’m smashing that god damn phone with Lucille.” Negan’s groggy voice caused Lexa to duck under the view of the door’s window.

Lexa looked up into the face of a slightly annoyed Negan. His tussled hair made it hard to take him seriously at the moment.

“Good morning, sir.” Lexa said shyly.

“Mornin’, doll.” Negan rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and then ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t seem to be doing much guarding.” He added.

Lexa laughed lightly, standing back up.

“No one’s really awake yet and there’s no biters nearby so I figured –“Lexa trailed off.

Negan just gave her a side eye.

“No one’s awake yet?” Negan asked. Lexa shook her head. “Do they not see the fucking sun?” Negan began to pull out his radio.

Lexa gave him a confused stare which earned her a slightly sleepy smile from the man. He stepped out of the truck, pulling his jacket back on over his wrinkled shirt. He stretched his arms over his head, giving Lexa good view of his stomach – a part of her thought he did it on purpose. He reached back into the truck and grabbed the radio.

“Let’s wake them up why don’t we.” Negan laughed, pressing the button on his radio. “Now I don’t know why I don’t hear the sound of feet moving and trucks running! LET’S GET THIS FUCKING TRAIN A-MOVIN’ BOYS! WE’RE WASTIN’ DAYLIGHT!”

Negan seemed to pause for a moment, thinking over something before looking over at Lexa.

“While I’ve got their attention, I could send out a message about your place in our ranks if you’d like?” Negan asked.

“Please don’t!” Lexa grabbed his arm with her hands, gripping the leather. “I want them to see me earn my place. If I have you always defending me then that just makes their arguments more valid. I want them to see what you see in me.” She gave him a smile.

Negan nodded his head. “Good.” He patted her on the head lightly. “If needed, just know that you have my permission to kick someone’s ass if need-be.” He gave her a goofy smile before walking off with Lexa in tow, her hands ready to grab her knife.

///

Once everyone finally woke up and the camp was packed up, the trucks began roll out. Lexa was once again sitting in the backseat of the truck, this time in the middle so she could look out the front window. Arat insisted on driving.

Lexa found herself battling nervousness, the butterflies in her stomach were going crazy. Going somewhere new PLUS being surrounded by god-knows how many people who wanted all of them dead. There was also the added bonus of knowing she had to also not only protect herself, but Negan first. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind but they were apparently showing on her face as Arat made a comment.

“Don’t worry too much, Lex. I’ll be there to help you get the ropes, but also just keep in mind that the boss here can easily handle himself.” Arat looked back at Lexa through the rearview mirror.

“Well look at you, makin friends are we?” Negan asked Arat, earning a glare from the woman.

Lexa appreciated Arat’s words. They did a lot to help but she still found herself nervous. She hadn’t been prepared to fight anything since that night in the woods. Her thoughts were stilled when Negan reached an arm back around the headrest. To Arat it would seem like he was just stretching out his arm, but Lexa could see what he was doing. Holding out his hand to her. It was a small gesture, one which Lexa gladly accepted. Her hand slid into his softly, the position made it a little awkward, but her hand fit perfectly within his. He gave her hand a quick squeeze before sliding his out of hers. Lexa immediately missed it.

As they turned down another road Lexa could see a giant wall up ahead. Alexandria. She had heard about what it looked like. The perfect suburban neighborhood – with the added addition of steel walls and biters. They rolled the truck towards the front gate of the community, parking off to the side. Arat was the first to jump out, helping to direct the other trucks behind theirs, leaving Negan and Lexa alone.

“Thanks for that.” Lexa said softly.

“Can’t have my protector gettin’ skittish, now can I?” Negan joked.

They both hopped out of the truck, watching the other trucks pull up around them. Lexa made sure the thigh-holsters for her knives were secure and tightened her ponytail. Negan was polite enough to wait for her to get ready. Lexa looked up at him, letting him know she was good to go.

“You know I always wanted to live in the suburbs.” Lexa joked, earning a quick laugh from Negan.

Lexa walked just a few steps behind Negan as he made his way to the gate, Lucille swinging freely. She could hear a crowd of Saviors begin to form around them.

“Little pig, little pig. Let. Me. In.” Negan banged on the gate.

Show time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MUH GOD. So sorry for the wait guys TT^TT I got caught up with college and just never had the time and/or motivation to write anything. I was always thinking of ideas for future chapters but just never sat around to actually start typing. Every time I got an email that my fic was getting notes it kept making me sad that I was leaving you guys hanging so I finally just kicked myself into gear to finish this chapter.

If there was one thing about Negan that Lexa was certain about, it was that he knew how to make an entrance. She stood slightly behind him – close enough to intervene if necessary, but far enough away to give him his presence. There was a crowd of Saviors beginning to gather around them as well.

Negan adjusted his grip on Lucille, growing impatient, when there was a commotion behind the gate. The screen behind the bars of the gate slid open revealing a clean-cut man. The picture-perfect, suburban white guy. Lexa found herself laughing under her breath.

“Well?” Negan asked impatiently.

The man behind the gate looked at Negan, confused. “Um, who are you?”

‘For fucks sake.’ Lexa thought.

“Oh, you better be jokin’!” Negan held out Lucille. “Negan. Lucille. I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression.”

Over his shoulder Lexa could spot Rick quickly making his way towards the gate.

“Well hello there.”

Rick said nothing. He looked around at the group of vehicles and people behind Negan.

“Do not make me have to ask.” Negan responded irritably to the silence.

Lexa wasn’t sure who was more annoyed as she saw Rick’s expression.

“You said a week.” Rick began opening the gate.  “You’re early.”

“I missed ya.” Even from behind, Lexa could hear the cocky smile that had formed on his face.

Suddenly there was a growl coming from behind the trucks. Lexa looked back and spotted a dead one getting close.

‘No one in the back saw that thing coming?’ Lexa scoffed. She began to head in that direction when Negan turned around at the sound.

“Oh,” he chuckled, “Rick, come on out here. Watch this.”

As Negan began walking back he looked over towards the Saviors huddled around Lexa.

“Calling it!” Negan yelled out.

Lexa instinctively stepped forward towards him – just in case, she told herself.

With a playful swing of Lucille, the growler was taken out with a laugh from Negan. He flamboyantly turned back around to face Rick.

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy!” Negan laughed out.

Lexa found herself internally cringing. This man was ridiculous.

“Alright everybody, let’s get started.” Negan began walking back towards Rick. “Big day.”

Lexa followed Rick’s line of sight and she realized he must have spotted Daryl who was standing near Dwight. She could see him processing things as Negan continued.

“Hey, Rick, you see that? What I just did? That is some service! I mean, we almost get turned away at the gate – who is that guy, anyway?” Negan pointed towards the man from earlier. “Do I get mad? Do I throw a fit? Do I bash some ginger’s dome in? Nope. I just take care of one of these dead pricks that could’ve killed one of y’all.” Negan leaned forward, flourishing his hand. “Service.”

Negan began walking towards the gate, holding Lucille out. “Hold this.” He gave the bloody bat to Rick.

Lexa stayed back and watched Rick closely before following Negan inside the walls of Alexandria along with the other Saviors.

“Hot diggity dog!” Negan yelled out. “This place is magnificent. An embarrassment of riches as they say.” He turned back to look at Rick who was standing close behind. “Yes, sir, I do believe you are gonna have plenty to offer up.” Negan chuckled.

Arat had returned and was standing next to Lexa. To their left was Daryl and Dwight. Rick began walking towards Daryl.

“Daryl, hey-“ Rick started but was cut off by Negan.

“No.” He said sternly. “Nope. He’s the help. You don’t look at him, you don’t talk to him, and I don’t make you chop anything off of him.”

One of the women Lexa recognized from the lineup was there as well. She was staring at Daryl as well. Lexa couldn’t remember if she had heard her name before or not.

“That goes for everyone.” Negan sing-songed in her face. She didn’t budge as Negan leaned closer to her face. “Right?”

Lexa took a step closer towards the woman who glared up at Negan before walking away. She was one to keep an eye on, Lexa took note.

Negan flashed a goofy smile in Lexa’s direction, earning a look of mock disapproval in return.

‘Man can’t be serious for more than five seconds, hm?’ She thought to herself.

He held his grin as he made his way back to Rick.

“A lot of suspense there.” He said in a hush tone. “I don’t think she even knew how much.”

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” Negan called out to everyone. “See what kind of goodies you got in the cupboard.” Negan began walking further into Alexandria when Rick spoke up.

“We put aside half the supplies.”

“No, Rick.” Negan stopped and turned around. “No. _You_ don’t decide what we take. _I_ do.”

Rick simply hung his head.

“Arat.” Negan ordered.

Arat stepped forward. A nod from Negan was all she needed.

“You heard the man.” No one moved. “Move out!”  She yelled out and the rest of the Saviors dispersed.

Arat and Lexa remained behind, Arat watching the Saviors mostly. Lexa kept her eyes on Negan who was now clapping his hands together lightly with a wide grin. So proud of his soldiers, she laughed to herself. She and Arat moved closer to Negan as he spoke with Rick.

Arat leaned in towards Lexa. “You think you got this on your own? These idiots need someone to tell them what to do I guess.” She looked around at the Saviors still in the vicinity. “He should be fine. He’s got Rick as his bitch at the moment.” Arat whispered. “Your job is pretty self-explanatory: don’t let anyone kill him. He can protect himself if needed.” Arat adjusted the grip on her gun. 

Lexa nodded her head, placing her right hand lightly on her thigh holster. She wasn’t nervous for her first official gig as a Savior. She was excited. 

She stepped up behind Negan and Rick.

Negan let out a sigh. “You gonna show me around or not?” He asked Rick without turning around. When he didn’t get a response he looked back at the frustrated man. “Well?”

Reluctantly, Rick pushed his way passed Negan, earning a laugh from the man. Lexa followed behind Negan as they made their further into the town. Behind her was Daryl. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to watch him as well but he seemed pretty obedient at this point. She kept an eye on him just in case.

Seeing all of the picture-perfect houses along the streets with their manicured lawns made Lexa’s stomach knot up. She remembered a time when she would have done anything to have this life. The kids, the husband, maybe a dog and a white picket fence. It had been so long since this all started that she forgot about the simpler things in life. She stared at the broad, leather back in front of her that was walking with such confidence. She wondered if Negan ever lived in one of these suburbs. She knew he was old enough to have at least have settled down before all this started – though, his flippancy with women did make that hard to believe as well. She shook the thoughts from her head, reminding herself that she was supposed to be guarding him, not fantasizing.

They made their way closer to one of the houses where some Saviors were removing furniture from inside and placing it all out on the street. Lexa found herself eyeing a nice end table to call dibs on later.

“You see this?” Negan looked glanced behind him. His eyes flashed on Lexa’s before settling on Rick’s before turning back around. “This is the kind of thing that just tickles my balls. A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as _punch_.” Negan stopped by the pile of things laid out on the street.

“You see we really are reasonable people once you get to know us.” Negan assured Rick. “Honest.”

Opening a nearby cooler, Negan pulled out what looked like a can of orange soda.

“Oh man.” He exclaimed, opening the can. He took a long swig of the soda, enjoying it far more than he should before he threw it haphazardly on the ground. “Damn I love this place!”

Lexa glared at him and then to the can. ‘Really, wasting the rest of it?’ She said in her mind.

“Negan.” Called out a Savior that was walking up to them. “Somethin’ you might wanna see.” He handed Negan a camcorder.

Lexa’s eyebrows went up, she had been looking for a working one of those for a while.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Negan asked. He stared at Rick who was somehow looking more upset. “I got my fingers crossed for a little feaky-deaky.” He said jokingly, earning a huff from Lexa.

She had a feeling this was going to be a long day.

Negan pulled up one of the videos on the camcorder which had Rick in it and pressed play. The Rick in the viewfinder, from what Lexa could see while standing between the two men at a distance, was completely different to the one now standing in front of her.

“Jesus!” Negan exclaimed. “Is that you, Rick, underneath all that man-bush?” He prodded. “Shit. I would not have messed with _that_ guy.” Negan stuck his tongue out which Lexa knew meant he thought of something snarky.

He held the camera up in front of Rick – Lexa noticed that he hadn’t actually pressed the record button but she didn’t say anything.

“But that’s not you anymore, is it?” He turned the camera around towards his face. “Nope!”

He closed the viewfinder and handed it over to Lexa. She didn’t exactly have a bag on her at the moment but the pocket in the jacket wrapped around her waist was large enough to hold it. She wondered why Negan wanted to keep it.

“I really gotta shave this shit.” Negan said, apparently thinking back to the beard Rick was sporting in the video.

That’s the second time he had mentioned it and Lexa still gave him the same nasty look in response that she had given him that night at the RV. Which again, earned her a smile back. She hated this man.

Negan looked around him, seemingly looking for someone. “Whatever happened to that sick girl?” He asked Rick. “That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. The way she was carrying on, she was married to number two, right?”

Rick looked up at Negan. Still a touchy subject.

“Careful.” Negan warned. “Careful how you’re lookin’ at me, Rick.” Rick looked away. “Widows, especially ones that look like that, they are _special_.”

Lexa noticed Rick adjust his grip on Lucille.

“I love ‘em. Right after their husbands go, they are just empty inside.” Negan continued toying with Rick.

If Lexa hadn’t been too focused on watching Rick she might have been annoyed with Negan’s comment but now was not the time for her emotions to get the better of her.

“But usually not for long.” Negan sing-songed. He was pushing Rick’s buttons at this point. He laughed suggestively before leaning back. “Ahh, where is she? I would _love_ to see her.”

“Do you care to pay your respect?” Came a voice from behind.

Lexa was too busy making sure Rick didn’t lash out that she didn’t hear the person who had come up behind them until he spoke, startling both her and Negan. It was a priest. Lexa was stunned at just seeing a priest, let alone a sneaky one.

“Ho-ly crap!” Negan called out. “You are creepy as shit, sneaking up on me, wearin’ that collar with that freaky-ass smile.”

The man swallowed hard. “My apologies. I’m Father Gabriel.”

Negan laughed before turning back towards Rick. Apparently Rick's expression told him all he needed to know.

“She didn’t make it?” He asked.

Rick simply looked down, and then off towards the edge of the town.

“She's buried this way.” Father Gabriel called out, leading the group behind the houses.

As they turned behind a wall of nicely trimmed shrubbery there was a plot of land with lines of graves dug into it. One of which was fresh. They all stood around it. Lexa wasn’t sure how to feel, standing above the grave. She had felt bad for the woman before, it was hard not to. Lexa remembered how sickly she looked that night though and simply payed her respects quietly.

“Damn tragedy. That’s what this is.” Negan said quietly, placing his hands in his pockets. “Well, this must _really_ suck for you guys.”

Lexa glanced up at the man beside her. ‘Too soon.’ She thought. She could tell from his face though that he was still just pushing at Rick. The man was harsh, but he also knew how to get people to break.

“Number one? That was on me. No choice there. Lessons had to be learned.” Negan reminded Rick. “But number two? _That_ didn’t need to happen. Daryl, there, he forced my hand.”

Lexa looked over at Daryl who seemed to be taking this harshly.

“Probably put her right on her back, huh?” Negan continued. “Damn. I was gonna ask her to come back with me.”

Lexa’s breath hitched for a moment. She had told herself a while ago that she would never judge Negan for his lifestyle. It still didn’t make it easy though. She didn’t want to nor did she have any right think she could be the only woman in Negan’s life. She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, gripping the handle of her knife instead.

“Oh, I know what you’re thinkin’. How could _I_ have a shot, guy that just bashed her husband’s head in?” Negan chuckled. “You’d be surprised. “Boy, people, they—“

Suddenly a gunshot fired off from the direction a nearby house and Lexa could hear glass shatter. She hadn’t noticed, but she had pulled out her knife and had one foot already in front of Negan. Negan, on the other hand, was glaringly menacingly at Rick who seemed just as surprised to hear the shots. Negan began walking out of the graveyard with Lexa right on his heel. Rick and Daryl followed close behind.

They followed the sound of commotion until it led them to one of the houses near the entrance. Lexa heard Rick curse under his breath before rushing up the stairs.

“This outta be good.” Negan nudged Lexa’s shoulder.

As they opened the door and walked in they saw Rick trying to get his son to lower his gun.

“He’s taking all of our medicine.” The kid protested. “They said only _half_ our stuff.”

“Of course.” Negan walked forward, in front of the gun. “Oh-ho. Really, kid?” Negan stepped closer.

“And you should go.” The kid warned. “Before you find out how dangerous we all are.”

Lexa would have probably knocked the kid out if it wasn’t for Negan’s amused expression. He seemed to be admiring the balls on the kid.

“Well, pardon me, young man. Excuse the shit out of my goddamn French, but…did you just threaten me?” Negan asked.

Lexa maneuvered around behind the kid, ready to move. Rick was looking terrified between the three of them.

“Look, I get threatening Davey here, but I can’t have it. Not him, not me.” Negan warned.

“Carl, just put it _down_.” Rick urged.

“Don’t be rude, Rick. We are having a conversation here.”

Carl kept his gun up. Lexa adjusted her stance. She wished Negan wouldn’t keep toying with a moody teenager waving a gun very close to his chest. She knew he was confident but there’s a thin line between it and stupidity.

“Now, boy, where were we?” Negan smiled. “Oh yeah. Your giant, man-sized balls. No threatening us. Listen, I like you, so I don’t want to go hard proving a point here. You don’t want that. I said half your shit and _half_ is what I say it is.” Negan continued his lecture. “I’m serious. Do you want me to prove how serious? _Again_?”

The tension in the room was thick. Rick’s face twitched at his son’s stubbornness. Finally, Carl sighed, reluctantly lowering his gun much to the relief of Lexa who relaxed her stance and her grip on her knife. She hadn’t looked forward to dealing with the kid in front of his dad. As he stomped off he gave the gun to Rick which Negan swiftly took from him. Carl returned to where Lexa was, giving her an annoyed look.

“You know, Rick, this whole thing reminds me that you have a lot of guns. There’s all the guns you took from my outpost when you wasted a ton of my people with a shit-ton of your own guns, and I’m bettin’ there’s even more, which adds up to an absolute ass-load of guns. And as this little emotional outburst has just made crystal clear, I can’t allow that.”

Lexa hadn’t even considered the amount of guns that could be stored away in this place. She mentally kicked herself for not taking that into consideration when they were strolling through the street casually.

Rick glared over at Carl at the realization of what just happened. Someone was getting chewed out when the Saviors left, Lexa thought. Lexa could tell that Negan was sporting a shit-eating grin.

“They’re all mine now.” He said tongue-in-cheek. “So tell me, Rick – where are my guns?”

Lexa felt oddly proud of Negan for some reason. If she had been in his position, she thought, she wouldn’t have reacted the same way. He took a shitty situation and made it benefit him. It was at times like these that she saw how he was able to build the empire that he now controlled. He knew how to get what he wanted and knew exactly how to bend people under his finger. It was that quality which caused Lexa to form feelings about him.

Carl went upstairs as Rick led the way to where the guns were kept. As they made their way down the street they ran into Arat and a couple Saviors who were with her. Negan ordered them to follow as well and to bring a truck around. Lexa was suddenly very glad she was on guard duty which meant no physical labor for her.  Rick finally stopped in front of the garage of one of the corner houses. The door was already beginning to lift open as they got there. Standing behind the door was a woman Lexa hadn’t seen before – must be someone who simply lives here, she thought.

“I…figured you were coming.” She said timidly.

“Show him where the guns are, Olivia.” Rick ordered, waving Lucille.

Oliva took a moment, as if making sure that’s what Rick wanted.

“The armory’s inside.” She finally said, turning around and walking into the garage.

Before she could get very far, Negan spoke up.

“You run the show in here?”

Olivia turned around slowly. “I just keep track of it all, the rations, the guns.”

“Good. Smart.” Negan replied. “Don’t let _me_ stop you.” He waved her forward. “Take her out, boys. Show ‘em the goods.”

 Arat, Daryl, and one of the Saviors Arat had with her followed Olivia into the house. Rick had begun to follow when Negan stopped him. Lexa went to stand behind Rick, just to make sure nothing happened while they were alone.

“While they’re at it, I just want to point out of to you that I’m not taking a scrap of your food. Slim pickin’s in here.” Negan lowered his head, looking between Rick and Lexa. “And I can’t be the only one to notice that you got a fat lady in charge of keeping track of rations, can I?”

Lexa bit her lower lip to stifle a laugh that almost escaped. Negan’s lip twitched as he looked at her, hiding back a smile himself.

“Either way, you starve to death, I don’t get shit, so for now, you get to keep all the food. How ‘bout that?”

There was a long silence as Rick simply stared up at Negan, tapping his fingers on Lucille. Lexa found herself getting angry at the man simply because he was leaning on her like a cane.

“What do you want me to say?” Rick asked annoyed.

Negan leaned forward menacingly, getting in Rick’s face. “I don’t know, Rick. How about a thank you. You think that might be in order? Or is that too much to ask?!” He yelled.

Rick was taken aback for a moment but still said nothing, prompting Negan to laugh.

“I know we started off on the wrong foot, but what can I say? You forced my hand, Rick. But it’s like I’ve been tryin’ to tell you – I’m a very reasonable man as long as you cooperate, so let me ask you a question, Rick. Are you cooperating?” Negan smiled, biting his tongue.

Rick’s face contorted in anger and he shook his head. “What’s it look like?” He asked, standing up straighter.

“Oh-ho-ho. I _know_ what it looks like.” Negan got back in Rick’s face, uncomfortably close. “But what I really want to know is if we’re gonna find all the guns back there or if maybe you got a few just waitin’ for their moment…just like my Lucille.”

Lexa continued to watch Rick’s movements. She was much smaller than both of the men before her but she had no doubt that could at least deal with Rick if the need arose. The question in her mind was if she could do it before Negan forced Rick to try to kill the man.

“They’re all in there, to the best of my knowledge.” Rick snapped back.

“I am countin’ on that, Rick.” Negan growled.

Negan nodded at Lexa for her to follow as he made his way into the house. She trailed behind but made sure to look back at Rick before going inside, making sure he followed as well and that he knew she was watching. They made their way through the house, passing the armory. Lexa stopped as Negan and Rick continued forward. She was amazed at how many guns this tiny community actually had stored away. The majority of them were already outside being loaded into a box truck someone had parked out front. Negan and Rick went up through the stairs which led to where the truck was. Lexa spotted Arat standing outside the door to the armory going through the inventory list. She stood next to her, looking over the list as well.

“How’s it going so far?” Arat asked, double checking something intensely.

“Well, Negan’s not exactly making the job easy. Not the smartest idea to provoke the guy you let hold your weapon.” Lexa rolled her eyes. She could hear Negan continue to poke Rick outside.

“That’s his specialty.” Arat laughed.

Daryl passed by the two of them, carrying a handful of guns outside. Lexa really did feel bad for the guy but she also knew there was nothing she could do. She just hoped he would come to his senses at some point and make the right decision. Lexa heard Negan say something when suddenly a gunshot was heard outside. She looked at Arat before huffing out a breath and running up the stairs to make sure the man didn’t shoot someone. He was laughing when she finally made it to him.

“Feels good. _Sounds_ good!” He laughed. “Oh, I do believe Lucille’s getting’ a little jealous.” Negan looked over at Lexa who was standing with her arms crossed next to him.

Negan’s gazed then shifted to just off to the side of her and she followed his line of sight. A savior was carrying up an RPG. Lexa’s eyes widened – she had never seen one so close before. A part of her really wanted to blow something up at the moment.

“Well, ho-ly smokes!” Negan exclaimed, taking the weapon from the man. “Look at this! It was _you_ guys that took out Little Timmy and the Dick Brigade? Wow, Rick. Gettin’ in your last licks. Ooh, man. I’m gonna have some fun with this.” He smiled widely over at Lexa who returned with her own. 

All of a sudden Olivia’s voice could be heard as she protested something coming up the stairs. Arat was dragging her out, holding the inventory list. Negan handed the RPG over to Lexa, it was lighter than she thought but still not something she wanted to casually hold. Lexa quickly brought it over to the truck as Negan moved towards Arat.

“Arat, we don’t do that unless _they_ do somethin’ to deserve it.” Negan said in response to Arat shoving Olivia.

“Yeah, we went through the inventory. Guns in the armory, guns they had around the walls, they’re short.” She said, looking at Olivia. “Glock 9 and a .22 Bobcat.” She handed over the notebook to Negan.

Lexa watched Rick’s face drop. Even he seemed confused, though his confusion soon turned into fear as he looked at Negan who was staring back at him.

“Is that true?” Negan asked.

Olivia nodded slightly.

“We had some people leave town. Those guns probably went with them.” Rick explained.

“So Olivia sucks at her job. Is that what you’re sayin’?”

“No. No, I’m _not_ sayin’ that.” Rick fumbled for an answer.

“There should be a full accounting here, right?” Negan pressed. “Top to bottom. Am I Right?” He asked Olivia directly.

“No.” Olivia stumbled. “I mean, yes. The inventory is correct.” She was terrified.

“Good. But not so good, too.” Negan stepped closer to her. “You see, what’s in _here_ …” he tapped on the notebook, “…isn’t in _there._ You’re two handguns short. Do you know where they are?”

“No. I…” Olivia stuttered.

Negan sighed and turned back to Rick.

“That’s disappointing, Rick. I thought that we had an understanding. But this, well, this shows that someone’s not on board, and I can’t have that.” Negan said with a smile, turning back to Olivia. “I don’t enjoy killing women. Men – I can waste them all the live long. But at the end of the day, Olivia, my dear, this was _your_ responsibility.”

Rick jumped in. “Look, we can work this out.” He pleaded.

“Oh, yes, we can! And I’m going to – right now.” Negan yelled.

Lexa’s heart squeezed when she heard Olivia begin to whimper. She understood that sometimes shit happens, but she also knew that Negan had a point. She failed at her job and something had to be done. She stared at Arat for a moment who seemed to not care what happened to the woman.

“This was _your_ job, and you screwed up. Keeping track of guns?” Negan got close to Olivia’s face. “That shit, is life and death.”

Negan’s demeanor changed suddenly. He turned back to Rick.

“So, Rick. I’m gonna keep Olivia company while you go off and find my guns, right?” He placed an arm around Olivia’s shoulder, causing her to jump. “And if I don’t get them, well, you know what has to happen.” Negan glared at Rick, waiting for an answer.

Without saying anything, Rick nodded and angrily stomped his way into the middle of town with Lucille in tow.

“Arat,” Negan continued, “finish up loading these guns and then begin pulling everything together for when he gets back.”

He kept his arm around Olivia as they began walking back inside the main part of the house. Lexa trailed behind them. As Negan was passing through the kitchen he spotted something in one of the pantries that must have caught his eye because he laughed loudly.

“Well, shit! Check this out, Sparky.” Lexa still cringed at the nickname he gave her. “They got the good shit.” He held up a container of lemonade powder.

Lexa simply smiled and laughed lightly. She hadn’t seen some of that in a long time.

“Should we make some while we wait?” Lexa asked jokingly.

Negan, however, took it seriously.

“That is an excellent idea. Olivia, dear, could you make us up a pitcher of this?” Negan asked the now-confused woman. “Lots of ice if it’s possible.” Negan smiled as she nodded.

He walked over to Lexa and sat at one of the barstools as they watched Olivia get to work.

“You know,” Lexa began, “you make this job really fucking stressful.” She stared at the man who was now eye-level with her.  

“Nah, I make this job fun! Never know what I’m gonna do. Gotta keep you on your toes, right?” He chuckled.

Lexa simply leaned over and bumped her hip with his. She stepped away though when Olivia made her way back over to them.

“Here.” She said quietly, placing the pitcher on the counter.

“Now that is what I’m talkin’ about! At least you can do something correctly.” Negan laughed low. “Grab that and follow me.” He ordered Olivia. “Oh, and could you grab me a glass?” He turned to Lexa.

She stared at him for a moment “Yes, sir.” She said with annoyance.

He led Olivia out into the backyard as Lexa began going through the cabinets. Most of the stuff in the kitchen had been broken by Saviors who came through the house. She did manage to find a couple of glasses hidden in the back of a cabinet above the stove. She grabbed one and made her way out to where the other two had gone. Olivia was looking even more scared as she sat next to Negan on a bench. His arm was around the back of her side of the seat. Lexa placed the glass next to the pitcher and poured the lemonade for him – she knew he would ask. And she was correct in that assumption as Negan formed a wide smile.

“Atta girl. See?” He looked over at Olivia, holding the glass in his hand. “I didn’t even have to ask.”

He took a sip of the drink. Lexa looked up at the house when she spotted the curtain move back. Rick was staring at them.

“I guess they couldn’t get anyone to own up to it.” Lexa nodded her head at the window. “Rick’s searching through the houses now.”

Negan clicked his tongue. “Time’s a-wasting. Better hope he finds those guns, Olivia, or Lexa here will be the one you’ll have to worry about.”

Olivia looked over at Lexa. She was standing off to the side of the two. She pulled her knife out its holster which caused Olivia to look away terrified. They could hear furniture being flipped around inside the house. Arat suddenly came around the house, letting Negan know that they had everything ready to go out near the gate. Negan placed his glass down and slapped his thighs causing Olivia to jump in her seat.

“Well! Guess that’s that.” He stood up slowly. “Let’s go people.” He began walking around the side of the house, back towards the street.

Lexa followed behind him with Olivia next to her. She put her knife back.

“What if someone stole the guns before I could do inventory this morning? That’s not my fault, is it?” Olivia whispered to Lexa.

Lexa was quiet for a moment. “It’s not my decision. If they find them though, try not to fuck up again.” Lexa said quietly, keeping her eyes forward.

The four made it back to the truck with guns inside. Dwight and Daryl were still hanging around it. Negan made his way over to the truck and sat down on the back of it while Olivia and Arat stood off to the side. Lexa leaned on the truck next to Negan She spotted Arat readying her gun when Rick, Father Gabriel, and someone from the lineup that Lexa remembered, began walking their way. Rick was holding out a bag as he walked up.

“What you got for me, Rick?” Negan said, standing back up and taking the bag from Rick. “Well, would you look at that? They were here after all.”

Lexa could see Olivia physically deflate, the worry now off her shoulders.

“Funny how a little ‘Holy shit! Somebody’s gonna die!’ lights a fire under everybody’s ass!” Negan laughed. “So, tell me Rick – which one of your fine folks almost cost Olivia the rest of her days?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Rick looked away.

“No, it matters. See, you need to get everybody on board. Everybody. Or…” Negan held the bag out towards Dwight who put it into the truck. “…we just go right back to square one.”

With the two guns now safely put away inside the truck, the back of it was closed. Negan had Arat signal for the other trucks to start making their way back to the Sanctuary. The sun was beginning to go down which meant it was time to go.

“Rick, it has been an interesting day to say the least.” Negan laughed as he began walking towards the entrance with everyone in tow. Some Saviors began crowding around them as well.

Lexa was chatting with Dwight when she spotted a van and a car coming into the town.

“Finally.” She heard Dwight mutter. He had mentioned that he had someone go off to find Daryl’s bike when they got there.

Negan carried on to the gate with Rick and Lexa behind him.

“Hell of a place you got here, Rick.” Negan turned around to stare at Alexandria for a moment.

Rick was quiet and looking outside the gate.

“Give me a second.” Rick asked.

Negan turned around and spotted a house just outside. Whoever was inside slipped behind the wall when Negan saw them.

“No.” Negan said with a smile.

Rick closed his eyes. “Please, can you just…give me a second?” Rick tried again.

Lexa knew he had Rick now, he was saying please and everything. Negan nodded his head, not hiding his grin. As Rick ran off towards the house, Negan moved towards Lexa.

"Hey there." He smiled down at her. He leaned in close to her ear. “Still got that camera, right?” He said low, his breath tickled her ear.

She hummed in approval, earning a dark chuckle from the man.

“Have something in mind?” She whispered back.

She didn’t get a response, but when she looked over at him he was staring right at her, a smirk forming on his face. He stepped away and went and leaned on the hood of the truck that was parked nearby. He was humming a tune that Lexa couldn’t quite figure out but it sounded familiar to her. She was about to ask when she spotted Rick and a woman with a deer coming back up the road. She motioned to Negan to turn around.

“Look at _this_!” Negan exclaimed at the sight.

“I thought she was scavenging. She was hunting.” Rick explained. He handed a rifle to Negan. “This one never came inside. We kept it near the line.”

Negan took it eagerly. “Look at this. _This_ is something to build a relationship on. Good for you, Rick. This is readin’ the room and gettin’ the message.” Negan looked around at everyone. “I’ve said it before, I’m gonna say it again. You, sir…are special.”

Negan handed the gun over to one of the Saviors who walked off towards a truck.

“Now that you know we can follow your rules…” Rick began, keeping his eyes down.

“Yes?” Negan asked unctuously.

“…I’d like to ask you if Daryl can stay.” Rick continued.

Lexa looked over at Daryl who kept his head low.  

“Not happenin’.” Negan quickly responded.

Rick gave Negan a look as to say ‘come on.’

Negan leaned back, thinking about it. “You know what? I don’t know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe, Daryl can sway me.”

Daryl glanced at Negan for a moment before putting his head back down. He didn’t say anything and Lexa couldn’t tell if he was considering anything or not. She knew what he would do anyways. So did Negan.

“Daryl?” Negan laughed. “Well, you tried.” He mocked to Rick. “Now what you got to do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me. Because we’re coming back soon, and when we do, you better have something interesting for us, or Lucille, she’s gonna have her way.”

Rick stared back at Negan, adjusting his grip on the bat.

“I want you to hear that again.” Negan leaned closer, as if talking to a child. “If you don’t have something interesting for us, somebody’s gonna die.” Negan warned. “And no more magic guns.”

As if what Negan said suddenly donned on him, Rick looked down at his feet.

“Arat,” Negan called out, “grab that deer. It’s getting late. Let’s go home.” He looked over at Lexa before running a hand down his beard.

The woman holding the deer looked at Negan with disgust before unceremoniously dropping the deer to the ground and walking off. Rick stepped forward and watched her go.

“Man, I love a gal that buys me dinner,” Negan followed Rick and leaned close to him, “and doesn’t expect me to put out.” He laughed as he stepped back, walking over towards Lexa.

Lexa simply shook her head slowly at the man, a smirk forming on her face that she tried to suppress.  Negan leaned next to her at the gate.

“You are a horrible man, you know that?” Lexa whispered playfully.

“The worst.” He hummed.

They were both watching Dwight deal with the people who brought him back the motorcycle. He threw a hat at the woman, Rosita, Lexa learned, which earned a huff from Lexa as he continued to harass her.

“He has zero charm.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“He gets his job done, though.” Negan responded, not disputing what Lexa said.

Dwight started the bike and circled it around next to Daryl.

“You can have it back.” He said. “Just say the word.”

Lexa watched Daryl who, again, made no attempt to help himself. Dwight eventually sped off, heading back towards Sanctuary. Negan watched him drive off before walking back towards Rick.

“So, nobody died.” Negan said with a smile. “And you know what I think? I think you and I, we’ve refined our understanding. Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you want me to go?”

Rick curled his lip, nodding his head. “I think that’d be good.”

“Then just say those two magical words.”

Rick fidgeted with Lucille and kept his head low. “Thank you.” He said so quietly that Lexa almost didn’t hear him. He stood up straight, making eye contact with Negan who was now laughing.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Thank _you_.” Negan joked, biting his tongue again.

In the distance there came the distinctive sound a growl, earning everyone’s attention.

“Another one.” Negan pointed out. “You need our help. Davey, hand me that candlestick over there.” Negan called out to the man behind them.

Lexa watched as Negan grabbed the candlestick, gripping it with his gloved hand. She her attention returned to Rick who was staring dead-eyed at the dead one who was shambling over to the group. Lexa walked away from the entrance so she was out of the way.

“You know what I think, Rick? I think we’re both gonna come out of this winners.” Negan backed his way out of the gate, adjusting his grip.

“Watch my form!” He called out.

Lexa found that it didn’t quite matter if he was holding Lucille or not, Negan made killing those things look good. She would have enjoyed it more if she hadn’t noticed Rick gripping onto Lucille and staring intensely at Negan’s back. She moved to stand slightly in front of him, just in case. She stared Rick in the eyes, he either didn’t see her or elected to ignore her. He finally dropped his gaze and released his grip when Negan had turned back around.

“Yep.” Negan leaned back. “Win-Win.”

Negan threw the bloodied candlestick to the ground with a clatter.

“You should clean that up for me for next time.” He smiled. “Let’s move out!”

With that, all of the surrounding Saviors began dispersing, heading off to their vehicles. Negan began walking towards a truck which was parked at the gate. It was an old food truck that the Saviors had painted black – aesthetics, Lexa told herself. Lexa stared at Rick and Lucille, wondering when Negan would realize he was forgetting something.

“Oh, wait.” Negan stopped, laughing. “How careless of me. You didn’t think I was gonna leave Lucille, did ya?” He asked Rick. “I mean, after what she did, why would you want her?”

 Lexa put her hands on her hips, giving Negan an unimpressed expression.

Negan leaned in towards Rick as Lexa walked behind the men and towards the truck.

“Thank you for being so accommodating, friend.” He grabbed Lucille out of Rick’s hand. “In case you haven’t caught on…I just slipped my dick down your throat, and you thanked me for it.” Negan said low, laughing as he walked off.

Lexa was leaning against the door of the truck, smiling as he got closer. She stepped inside and sat in the makeshift backseat. Negan followed her, banging on the side of the truck before sitting next to her.

“That was a very good parting message.” Lexa laughed as she replayed what Negan said in her head.

The Savior who was in the driver’s seat began driving off, running over the body of the dead ones Negan killed.

“Hell yeah it was.” Negan smiled at her.

Lucille was now sitting between Negan’s legs. Lexa stared at the bloody bat.

“You shouldn't let anyone else hold her.” Lexa looked up at Negan. “Doesn’t look as good as when you do.” She added with a wink.

“I don’t know, it was pretty fucking hot when you held her.” Negan leaned over. “Speaking of hot. When we get back to the Sanctuary, meet me in my office tonight.” Negan got up. “And bring the camera.” He added before making his way to the passenger seat.

Lexa sat, stunned. Her eyes were still on the back Negan’s head when she saw him staring at her through the rearview mirror. She quickly looked away and could feel her face heating up. She gripped the camcorder in her jacket pocket, imagining what he had in mind. It was then that she remembered what she had said to him that day in his office when they messed around with his knife.

_“Maybe…we could finish this when we get back?”_

Lexa unconsciously crossed her legs as she found herself hoping the truck would drive a little bit faster. This was going to be an interesting night for the two of them.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are over with which means it's time to try and catch up on some writing!

When the truck pulled into the lot at the Sanctuary, Negan was the first to make his way out.

“See you tonight, yeah?” Lexa whispered behind Negan.

“I better.” Negan joked, he brushed his hand lightly on her back before walking away towards the garage.

Lexa took a deep breath. It was now or never, she thought. She made her choice a long time ago, whether she knew it or not. She straightened her back before walking over to the drop-off area – she had to find that table she spotted in Alexandria.

After finding it and convincing someone to take it up to her room, Lexa made her way to the factory floor. She had a bit of shopping she needed to do for tonight. If this was gonna happen, she had to look the part. She didn’t have much by way of clothes, wasn’t really a point in having a full wardrobe since no one really cared what you wore anymore.

She spotted one of the stalls which she knew the wives usually got their clothes from. She stared at it for a few moments.

_‘Doesn’t hurt to look, right?’_ She told herself.

The older lady running the stall glanced up at Lexa but didn’t say anything. Heading to a rack in the back of the area, Lexa began searching through the limited supply. There were plenty of options for black dresses like the other wives wore, but Lexa was searching for something else. She wasn’t a wife and she didn’t want to look like one either. Just as she was about to give up and head to another rack Lexa spotted something sandwiched between two other dresses. The dress was tight-fitting and white with black on the bottom hem which went to just above her knees. Classy but sexy, just what she wanted. She double-checked the size, it was a little small but not by much.

Holding onto the dress she made her way to a bucket in the corner filled with shoes. Shoes were the hardest thing to hold onto nowadays, you either only had one or they weren’t in your size. Thankfully Lexa managed to find a nice pair of simple, black, strappy heels that were just her size.

 Only one more thing to buy and Lexa was nervous – it had been a while since she wore anything to impress someone else. She headed to the containers which held the lingerie and began her search. Based on the reaction Negan had to her photos she knew exactly what she was looking for. After picking out a few pairs she finally managed to narrow it down to one. She couldn’t hold back her smile at trying to imagine Negan’s face when he saw her in these.

She rushed over to the old woman and paid for her stuff, trying to ignore the look she was getting from her. Shoving her new outfit into a bag, Lexa began making her way to her room to get ready.

///

The sun was starting to go down at the Sanctuary. Negan had spent some time going over everything that had happened while he was gone with some of his lieutenants. After doing some paperwork, Negan let out a deep breath and rubbed his face. He had no idea when Lexa would show up. If she even would. He had straightened up his room and office about three times at this point, he wanted their first time to be perfect – he was nothing if not romantic.

Just as he was about to start pacing around his room for the umpteenth time he heard a quiet knock at his door. He took a slow breath, calming himself, before opening the door.

There have been plenty of times in his life where Negan wished he could freeze time – this was one of those times. Lexa was stunning. Her hair was lightly curled and framing her face which was accented with a little bit of makeup. His mouth was hanging open as he simply stared her up and down. She was fidgeting with the heels of her shoes as he continued to stare.

“So, am I allowed in or are you just going to admire me from the doorway for the whole night?” Lexa laughed softly.

“Right, shit, yeah.” Negan coughed, moving out of the way.

Negan closed the door, locking it behind him – he wasn’t going to allow anyone to ruin this anymore.

When he turned around Lexa was leaning back against his desk staring at him shyly.

Negan walked over towards her slowly. Even with her heels he still towered over her. He looked down at her, and she up at him. His hand came up and gently cupped her cheek. She leaned into the touch which made Negan smile.

“Gotta say, doll, you look hot.” Negan said, biting his tongue.

Lexa lightly pushed him away.

“You’re ridiculous, Negan.” Lexa couldn’t try to her smile even if she wanted to.

“It’s the truth. You’re beautiful.” Negan placed a hand on her waist.

Lexa looked up at him, her face was burning. It had been a long time since someone spoke like this to her and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying the attention.

Negan was leaning down slowly, his hands lightly squeezing Lexa’s waist. When Negan was finally face-to-face with her, his lips only just brushed hers. It was torture. Negan knew exactly what he was doing and she could feel a smile on his face. She stared right into his eyes, begging him but to no avail.

“Negan.” Lexa whispered. “Kiss me.”

Without missing a beat Negan pressed his lips in hers. Lexa let out a small moan, earning squeeze on her waist from Negan. If he wasn’t holding onto her Lexa thought she just might crumble to the ground. After what felt like an eternity Negan pulled away, allowing Lexa to catch her breath. He leaned his forehead into hers and they stared at one another.

“If you don’t want to continue with tonight, now’s your chance to leave.” He whispered.

Lexa already knew she was going to stay. She kissed him lightly.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She could feel his lips smile into hers.

“Good answer.” Negan laughed.

With that, Negan proceeded to wrap his arms around her waist and lift her up off his desk earning a squeal from Lexa. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck smiling wide. Before she could say anything else Negan had taken them to his bed. He sat down on the edge, standing her between his legs.  

“As much as I love the dress, doll, I think it’ll look ten times better on the floor.” He playfully winked at her.

Lexa simply shook her head and smiled. She turned around, pulling her hair over one shoulder.

“Then help me out of it?” She asked without looking back.

Negan ran a hand up her back softly. He pulled the zipper slowly with one hand, his other hand trailing behind, enjoying the softness of her skin. As the dress began to pull away, Negan could see what was hidden beneath. All he could tell from the back was that it was a pale pink color and covered in lace. Once the zipper was fully undone Negan ran his hands up Lexa’s back, she leaned back into his touch. When he reached her shoulders he began slipping the dress off of her. When it pooled around her ankles she stepped out of it.

Lexa shivered.

Negan smiled at the sight before him. Lexa had ruffled her hair back into place and had slowly turned around to face him. She was wearing a matching set of lace lingerie, the bottoms had a small bow at the back which Negan loved. Negan stood up slowly and walked towards her. Neither said a word but the air was thick in the room. Lexa kept her eyes locked on his as he pulled her towards the bed. She sat down on the edge of the bed and Negan lightly pushed her down onto her back. She propped herself up on her elbows to watch as he took off his shirt, discarding it across the room. Placing a knee between her legs, Negan crawled onto the bed until his face was hovering over Lexa’s.

“Don’t move them.” Negan ordered, placing Lexa’s hands over her head.

“Or?” Lexa teased. Negan only glared in response, shutting Lexa up. She nodded.

He leaned down and kissed her deeply. Lexa’s back arched up instinctively but Negan simply pushed her back down. His kisses trailed to her ear, her neck, and her collarbones. He sank lower, trailing kisses down between her breasts and down to her navel. Lexa was breathing hard at this point, she gave up on trying to watch at this point instead focusing on not moving her arms which were grabbing onto his sheets. Negan nipped lightly at her hips before lifting one of her legs and pressing a kiss onto her inner thigh earning a moan from Lexa. He continued kissing and biting his way down her leg before finally kneeling down on the ground and placing a kiss on her ankle. He took off her heel, letting it drop to the floor. He let her leg down and picked up her other foot, taking off that heel as well. This time he trailed his attention up her leg. When he reached her inner thigh again he bit her lightly, leaving a mark.

He looked up from his position between her legs, Lexa was breathing hard, staring down at him. Her hands were still up – Negan smiled. He crawled his way back up her body.

“Good girl.” He whispered before kissing her. He brought her hands back down.

Negan simply stared down at Lexa, she was blushing like mad, her green eyes almost black from want.

“Well then, let’s give you what you want.” Negan whispered, pressing a kiss Lexa’s neck.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter guys but I specifically want the next one to strictly be their first time together and also just have it be nothin but the good stuff! ;D


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I am sorry guys! School got crazy and then I just never got the inspiration to write. 
> 
> Sorry if this chapter is a little...eh. I've never actually written a smut scene before so this either went decently or horribly, who knows! 
> 
> I'm gonna try to get another chapter out soon to make up for my abandonment. Promise!

Lexa gasped as Negan’s hand grazed along her thigh. Goosebumps formed on her skin. She barely registered what Negan’s other hand was doing until she heard him chuckle. As her vision focused she saw that his face was hidden behind the camera they had picked up in Alexandria.

“Really?” Lexa laughed.

“Oh yeah.” Negan grinned down at her. “Told you I had plans for it.”

Lexa grinned, biting her bottom lip before hiding her face behind her hands. She moved her fingers so that she could look back up at the camera. It wasn’t the first time she had done something like this but it had been a while. Lexa hadn’t realized how much she enjoyed the feeling.

She ran her hands through her hair before leaning up on her elbows.

“And what might those plans be, hm?” She asked playfully.

Negan didn’t answer but instead walked over to the bedside table, placing the camera on its edge.

“Come ‘ere.” He growled, beckoning her over.

The camera was at just the right height and Lexa knew exactly what he wanted. She slid down from the bed and crawled her way over to kneel in front of him. She ignored the rough feeling of the concrete floor on her knees.  She looked up at him through her eyelashes, waiting for permission. It was subtle but Lexa could see him nod. She heard Negan suck in a breath as she unbuttoned his pants. She looked back up at him when she unzipped him and gripped his member through his boxers earning a groan from the man above her. His hand was lightly gripping her hair, urging her on. She could feel him twitching beneath her hand. Releasing his cock from his boxers she took a moment to simply admire him. He was perfect – slightly larger than average but nothing she hadn’t seen before. She hummed, running her thumb across the tip, earning a twitch in response.

“Lexa…” Negan warned.

Lexa giggled, biting her lip. She liked the way her name sounded on his lips. She placed a kiss along the side of his shaft working her way up. His hand gripped her hair harder as she placed a kiss on the tip. She gripped his thigh as she wrapped her mouth around him, her other hand balled into a fist on her own thigh – it took everything she had not to touch herself. She moved her head farther down and glanced back up at Negan, his eyes were glazed over but he was staring right back at her. She slowly moved her way back up, as she reached the tip once more she sucked in, coming off with a lewd pop. She moved down to the base of his shaft, still maintaining eye contact, and slowly licked her way back up. Negan’s hand moved her back down onto him, pushing her further than she went before but not enough to where she still didn’t have control. Her grip on his thigh tightened as she reached the base of his cock, she fought back against her gag reflex. He relaxed his grip on her hair and she hummed against him in return. The feeling of her humming must have set him off because he bucked his hips into her, causing him to hit the back of her throat. She quickly pulled away in response, a trail of saliva connecting her lips to him. She could only imagine what she looked like right now – she would have to watch the video when they were done.

“Too much, sorry.” Negan apologized with a heavy breath.

Lexa smiled up at him and Negan moved his hand from her hair to caress the side of her face. She ran a hand along her mouth, cleaning herself. Negan helped her back onto her feet, gripping the sides of her face with both of his hands. He placed a quick, hard kiss to her lips before leaning his forehead against hers.

“Get on the bed.” He smacked her lightly on the ass.

Lexa giggled and ran and hopped onto the bed, bouncing as she waited eagerly.

“Your turn, doll.”

Negan pointed the camera towards her and made his way over to the edge of the bed. He knelt down between her legs, placing his hands along her hips. Lexa simply sat back and watched, enjoying the sight of Negan kneeling for once. He placed a light kiss on the edge of her panties as his hands trailed down her hips to her thighs. He pulled her legs up over his shoulders and moved his mouth further down. Lexa fell back against the bed with a moan as his mouth found her sensitive bud. He chuckled, his breath hitting her made her squirm. Keeping one hand on her thigh, he moved the other towards her center. He ran a finger along her slit, never moving the lace barrier between them. Negan hummed in approval when he felt the dampness already there.

“Already, baby girl?” Negan teased. This earned a groan from Lexa.

He moved her panties to the side, sucking in a breath at the sight of her. He ran his thumb across her clit lightly and Lexa bit her hand to stifle a moan.  He kept his thumb circling her clit as he moved a finger down her folds. Inserting a finger into her wet center, Lexa whimpered, muffled by her hand, and Negan curled it upwards hitting just the right spot. She was already very wet and Negan smiled. He moved his thumb from her clit and inserted a second finger into her, joining it alongside the first. He leaned forward, kissing her clit before giving it a light suck. Lexa moved her hand from her mouth, unable to stop herself from crying out at the sensation. Her thighs were squeezing the side of his head as he continued to pump his fingers inside of her.

“Negan.” She keened.

She moved her hands to his hair, pulling him closer to her core and bucked her hips. She could tell she was getting close but waited. Negan also knew she was close as her thighs began shaking. He quickened the pace of his fingers, the obscenely wet sound was enough to make Lexa blush even more if that was possible.

“Come for me.” Negan ordered.

As if on cue, Lexa’s grip on his hair tightened and her breathing hitched. Negan’s fingers continued to pump into her and his tongue return to her bud as she rode out her orgasm. When she finally came down from her high she was a whimpering mess. She released her thighs from his head and sat up, pulling him into a kiss. She could feel her wetness on in his scruff as she kissed him and could taste herself on his lips. Negan returned the kiss, pulling back on her hair before standing up.

Lexa’s lip quipped upward as she thought of an idea. She crawled over towards the camera and picked it up, turning it towards Negan who was grabbing the edge of his shirt to remove it. He didn’t look too thrilled to be filmed.

“Gimme a show.” Lexa giggled from behind the camera.

Negan simply hung his head and laughed. He lifted his shirt off and threw it at her earning a squeal of laughter from Lexa. Lexa waved her finger in front of the camera.

“He doesn’t play nice, huh?” She stuck her tongue out at Negan, earning a grin from the man.

“No, he doesn’t.” He replied.

Lexa smiled at him as he stalked his way back to her, stepping out of his pants. He grabbed the camera out of her hands and pointed it towards her.

“Your turn.” Negan ordered, looking at her chest.

Lexa bit her bottom lip and tucked her legs up under her bottom, straightening her back. She moved her hair over one shoulder and reached behind, never moving her eyes away from his. Unlatching her bra, she let the straps slip down slightly. She held up the cups as she slipped her arms from the straps. The heat in her stomach flared when she caught sight of the tent in Negan’s boxers. Slowly, she let the bra fall from her chest, letting it fall to the floor. Negan hummed in approval, using his free hand to rub himself.

“So fucking beautiful.” He said quietly, his praise going straight to Lexa’s core.

Negan set the camera back onto the table, slipped out of his boxers and crawled onto the bed over Lexa causing her to fall onto her back below him. He leant down and kissed her, this time a soft kiss and trailed the kisses down her neck. Lexa scraped her nails lightly down his back and gripped his ass, pulling him closer to her. Negan bit her neck lightly.

“Eager, hm?” He asked, nuzzling against her.

Before she had time to answer Negan had flipped her over onto her stomach. Lexa looked back over her shoulder at Negan who was now pressing kisses between her shoulder blades. She lifted her hips up into his, grinding her ass against his groin earning a groan from Negan.

“Please.” Lexa mewled.

Negan sat up, pulling her hips into his, rocking his erection against the lace.

“Please, what?” Negan asked, playing with the bow on the back of her panties.

Lexa moved her face to stare directly into the camera, knowing Negan would enjoy watching her again at some point.

“Fuck me, Negan.” Lexa moaned out. She felt herself blushing from embarrassment but didn’t hide her face from the camera.

She felt him move the panties to the side and then her breath stopped as she felt him at her entrance.

“Whatever you say, doll.”

Negan groaned as he slowly moved his hips forward, savoring the feeling of her walls wrapped around him. Lexa let out her breath in a moan, never removing her eyes from the camera. When he was fully inside her, Negan stilled. He pulled out slightly before slowly rocking back into her. He ran a hand up her spine and gripped onto her hair, pulling her up lightly. Lexa propped herself up on her elbows to ease the pain. Negan pulled himself out and just before he was fully removed he pushed himself back into her quickly, knocking Lexa forward. She cried out at the change of pace and found herself pushing her hips back to meet his thrusts. Lexa tried to control her sounds as to not alert the wives down the hall but gave up when Negan moved his hand from her hair to her throat. He tugged on her just enough to let her know to pull herself up as well. With her back now flush against his chest she could feel him even more. Her hands moved to her breasts as she leaned her head back against his shoulder. Negan pumped himself faster, his free hand making its way down to her clit.

Lexa was a whimpering mess, unable to make a coherent sound at the onslaught of sensation to her body. Her thighs were shaking, it was getting difficult to keep holding her body upright. She could tell Negan was getting close to his end, his hips were jerking into hers at an erratic pace. Lexa moved her hands up to his hand around her throat, gripping on tight as her own orgasm raced forward. Suddenly Negan pulled out of her and pushed her down onto her back, earning a whimper from Lexa at the sudden emptiness inside her. Her core was burning for release and Negan replaced his cock with two of his fingers, her own hands went to her breasts, pinching at her nipples. She looked up at Negan. He was pumping himself and his eyes were struggling to stay open as he watched her. Negan’s fingers inside her stopped as he came, spraying himself onto Lexa’s stomach. Lexa was close behind him as she moved her hands down to grip his as he continued to pump his fingers into her. When she came down from her high Negan was smiling down at her. Lexa let out a groan as he removed his fingers.

“Negan.” Lexa breathed out with a laugh.

Negan leaned down and kissed her forehead, wiping her hair from her face.

“Yeah, doll?” Negan asked, catching his breath.

“That was…” Lexa trailed off as Negan hummed in approval.

“Hell yeah it was.” Negan laughed, leaning over her to grab the camera.

 After filming the aftermath he finally turned it off. Thankfully it managed to stay on for the whole time.

“So,” Lexa said quietly, gesturing to her stomach.

“Right!” Negan got up and reaching for his boxers, slipping them on.

Lexa watched him walk into the bathroom and come back with a towel. She propped herself up onto her elbows and thanked him as he cleaned her up. When he came back from putting the towel away she sat up in his bed.

“So, now what?” She asked.

She didn’t know if he wanted her to stay or go back to her room. She was prepared for the second, even if it upset her a little. She already knew going into this what kind of relationship this was – strictly platonic. Totally.

“Now, we rest up.” Negan let out a huff of air as he flopped onto the other side of the bed.

Lexa’s face beamed with a smile and she moved to lay next to him, laying her head on his chest. She could hear his breathing start to even out as he relaxed. Lexa played with the hairs on his chest, swirling her fingers.

“Negan?” Lexa asked quietly.

Negan hummed in response.

“What are you planning on doing with that footage, hm?”

His chest rumbled in laughter. Lexa looked up at him.

“Oh I’m definitely watching that again the first chance I get.”

“You better not show anyone.” Lexa playfully hit his chest, earning a mock huff from Negan.

“Yeah yeah,” Negan replied, closing his eyes. “Get some rest, doll. We got shit to do tomorrow.”

Lexa smiled up at him. Totally platonic, she reminded herself as she watched him drift off.

Totally platonic.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments you guys can give would be greatly appreciated. I foresee this as being a smut fic and so I would like to know what to improve on for when the next sexy chapter comes along.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I feel like apologizing has kind of lost its meaning. :T
> 
> Also I kind of stopped watching TWD for a while when I learned what they were doing with Carl. Thankfully any scene with Negan in it makes up for anything negative.

Lexa stretched out her legs, enjoying the feeling of the sheets wrapped around her. They were much softer than her own, reminding her of where she actually was. She stifled a yawn, squinting at the sunlight coming through the large window in Negan’s room. Negan wasn’t in the bed. She sat up, pulling the sheet up to her chest and followed the sound of shuffling papers. Sitting at his desk was a Negan that Lexa had never seen before. His hair was a mess and he was wearing glasses which Lexa didn’t know he needed. He must have felt her staring because he let out a quiet chuckle.

“Mornin’, doll.” He said, his voice still gravely with sleep. He must not have been up for very long.

“Good morning.” Lexa replied sweetly. “Nice specs, handsome.” Lexa giggled.

Negan simply huffed, “Don’t go spilling my secret.” He joked.

Lexa crawled over the edge of the bed, picking up Negan’s shirt from last night and slipping it on. She stepped off the bed, the cold concrete floor against her bare feet woke her up. She walked over to Negan’s desk, standing behind him and placed her hands around his neck, her chin on his shoulder.

“Anything important for today?” She asked.

Negan hummed negatively.

“Nothing major. Simon leaves to meet with the Hilltop today. He should be back tomorrow with a full report. The Kingdom is getting a pick-up today. Garbage people are…well, garbage people. Other than that, just a regular day today. Which sucks because now I have to actually do shit since Simon isn’t here.” Negan sighed, taking his glasses off.

“Aww, poor Negan.” Lexa cooed playfully. “He’s gotta put on his big-boy pants and put people in line.”

Lexa squealed as Negan quickly turned around, pulling her onto his lap.

“Do I need to put _you_ in line?” He growled, nipping at her neck.

Lexa squeaked, gently smacking his shoulder playfully.

“No, sir.” She pulled away from him, slipping off of his lap. “Although I would greatly appreciate you letting me use your shower.” She asked, already stepping towards his bathroom before he could even answer.

Negan simply waved her away, shaking his head with a smile as he went back to his paperwork.

/////

Lexa was standing guard on the south of the factory roof. It was getting late in the afternoon and the only sound in the air was the growls of the dead below her and the idle chatter she received by the Savior also on the same shift. He was a nice guy, Lexa thought, though he seemed as though he hit the bottle one too many times in his life.

Lexa let out a long sigh as the boredom crept back up. Based on the height of the sun she figured her shift change should be coming at any moment, thankfully. Her thoughts drifted to Negan as she caught a whiff of the shampoo from his shower as he hair swept into her face. She hadn’t seen or heard from Negan since this morning.

‘Not that it matters.’ She thought. ‘He has other things to do besides me.’

Lexa failed to contain her laugh, earning a confused glance from the nearby man.  She was saved the embarrassment of trying to explain to the guy that she’s not, in fact, crazy by her replacement finally arriving.

“Have a good night.” She waved to the other guard and rushed into the building.

She made her way to the market which was the only area still open this late. Lexa had just missed the end of the dinner shift and was starving. She grabbed a pre-made meal from one of the booths: a can of sliced peaches, a turkey sandwich, and small bottled water.

She decided to eat her meal out in the patio area. The area was one of her proudest moments from back when she still worked as an electrician at the Sanctuary. She had found a long roll of Christmas lights in the market one day, replaced some of the bulbs with what they had in the electrical storage, and got approval from Negan to build a cozy little lounge area out on one of the second floor balconies. She convinced some people from the construction crew to help build a wooden, lattice style covering for her to wrap the lights around and found some benches and chairs in the marketplace to move up there. It was cozy, romantic, and earned Lexa respect from all the people who discovered it – she made sure it wasn’t announced so it wouldn’t get crowded since it was such a small space. She sat down on a bench and began eating her dinner. There were two other women out on the patio chatting and a dad and his son who were tinkering with something. It was peaceful and Lexa couldn’t help but eat her meal with a smile.

Finishing up the last of the peaches just as it got dark out, Lexa made her way inside and up to her room. Finally getting her door open, she plopped onto her bed letting out a comfortable sigh. She toed off her boots, letting them fall to the floor with a thunk, then removed her socks. It was still too early for her to go to sleep. She stared back up at her ceiling, trying to decide what to do to. Subconsciously her hands began to trail down and she found herself unbuttoning her pants.

Lexa eventually drifted off to sleep, her hands still in her pants after recalling her previous night’s entertainment.

////

Her eyes shot open at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She groaned, hoping whoever it was would leave and let her go back to sleep – this was her only day off this week. Just as her eyes were beginning to flutter shut another knock rang through the room, causing her to drag herself out of bed. Her bare feet padded on the concrete floor. She unlocked her door and yanked it open, ready to give whoever was there a talking-to. Her eyes were still hazy but she recognized the mustache at her door and she swallowed her words, opting instead for an annoyed look.

“Were you asleep?” Simon laughed. “You do realize it’s almost noon, right?” 

Lexa squinted and turned to look at her clock, staring at it a moment before shrugging.

“What’s up?” She ran a hand through her hair, it was tangled in a pony tail that had fallen out in her sleep.

“Well, I just got back from a _lovely_ time at the Hilltop and decided to come pay a visit.” He gave her a goofy smile.

Lexa opened the door wider, allowing Simon to enter.

“Already give Negan your report?” Lexa asked as she closed her door.

Simon leaned against Lexa’s dresser while she sat back on her bed and threw her hair up into a messy bun.

“Nah, I was actually coming by to give you a gift before I head over there.” Simon pursed his lips.

Lexa quirked her brow.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Simon took off his backpack and pulled out an unopened bottle of scotch.

“Holy shit.” Lexa exclaimed, grabbing the bottle out of his hands. It was a brand she hadn’t seen since the fall.

“Don’t tell Negan,” Simon winked, “I thought it could make for a good early birthday gift.”

Lexa’s eyes widened. 

“It’s already that time of the year?”

Lexa hadn’t bothered to keep track of the days for a long time.

“And no, I’m not a creepy stalker who knows everything about you, I just happened to be the one to put your info into the ledger when you became a Savior.” Simon clarified.

Lexa chuckled, “Understood. Thanks, Simon.”

She gave him a quick hug and went to put the bottle on her cabinet. Simon said his goodbyes and quickly made his way up to Negan’s office, leaving Lexa to her own. She opened her dresser, pulling out her outfit for the day – a simple, grey, t-shirt and a black jeans. Now that Simon was back from Hilltop, that meant there was new stuff to pick through down in the market and Lexa knew exactly what her room needed.

////

If God existed, Lexa thought, he had personally made this chair. She was sat in what she considered to be the world’s comfiest chair that has ever existed. The cushions were made of crushed red velvet and the accents were black. It clashed with her room but she didn’t care. She had to have it. As she was sitting in it she noticed everyone around her suddenly start lowering to the ground.

She didn’t want to get out of the chair.

As Negan made his way towards the area Lexa was in, their eyes caught one another. Lexa pursed her lips and tilted her head down, averting her gaze. She hoped that would be enough.

Apparently it wasn’t. She inwardly shrunk, as Negan’s boots came into focus from where she was staring at the ground.

“Back to work!” Negan called out and everyone scattered.

Lexa slowly raised her eyes to meet his. Her legs crossed when she saw the smile that he was trying to hide.

“You enjoying that chair, doll?” Negan feigned seriousness. “Must be a damn nice chair for you not to have gotten on your knees.”

Lexa simply smiled.

“Afraid so, sir.” She sat up a little straighter. “It’s a damn nice chair, indeed.”

Negan smiled down at her.

“You’re getting mighty feisty.” Negan leaned down to whisper in her ear, “We gonna have to do something about that?”

Lexa subtly moved her cheek closer to his, enjoying the feel of his scruff.

“Perhaps.” She whispered back.

Negan hummed, standing back upright.

“Need some help getting that up to your room?”

“While I’m all for the ‘strong-independent woman’ vibe, yes, that would be greatly appreciated.” Lexa hopped out of the chair, smiling up at Negan.

Negan looked at the two men who were nearby.

“Well? Take it up to her fucking room.” Negan ordered, swinging Lucille around.

As the men went to pick up the chair, Lexa told them where to take it and watched them carry it off.

“Thank you.” Lexa said sweetly to Negan. “Did Simon show you what he got at Hilltop?”

“The scotch?” Negan looked down at her. “Oh yeah, he said there’s a truck coming soon that’s got like six boxes of the shit in it.” Negan looked down the road where the trucks came in.

“Sounds like a cause for more of our little get-togethers?” Lexa rocked on the balls of her feet, following his line of sight.

Negan simply smirked and started walking towards the edge of the loading dock, motioning for her to follow. When they were away from most of the people sorting the stuff from the truck that got back from Hilltop first, Negan leaned against a railing.

“So,” Lexa trailed, “are we gonna consider the chair as a birthday gift?” Lexa leaned against the railing next to him.

Negan’s eyes widened comically and Lexa couldn’t hold back her laughter.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t even know. Simon had to remind me.” Lexa bumped her shoulder into his arm.

“Well, shit,” Negan ran his hand over his beard, “I guess that explains this box I have in my pocket.”

Negan reached into one of the pockets of his leather jacket and pulled out a small, black box. It was Lexa’s turn to have her eyes widen comically. Negan smiled smugly, holding the box out. Lexa took it out of his hand, looking up at him confused.

“What’s this?” Lexa asked quizzically.

“Open the fucking thing and find out.”

Lexa simply shook her head, smiling, and took the top off of the box.

“A…key?” Lexa looked up at Negan.

“It’s completely up to you, but, there’s a room for you up on the top floor if you’d like.” Negan took the box out of Lexa’s hand as she held the key. “I know you said you don’t want to be a wife, but after last night…I definitely want you closer.”

Lexa didn’t know what to say. She certainly had no plans on being a wife but she had to admit that her heart fluttered at the thought behind the gift. But she also didn’t know how the other wives would react nor did she want to add to the rumors that she knew were still circulating. Negan must have been able to figure out what she was thinking.

“Hey, don’t think that you have to make the decision right this second. Take your time, the room will always be open.” Negan placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a small squeeze.

Lexa turned around to make sure no one was looking and gave Negan a quick hug.

“Thank you, Negan.” She put the key in her pocket.

Negan was about to respond when the sound of a truck rumbling up the road caught their attention.

“And there’s the rest of the booze.” Negan said happily.

Negan and Lexa walked back to the loading dock as other Saviors joined them to get ready to unload. The truck backed up to the gate and Negan and a few other Saviors walked up the back of it, Lexa staying up on the dock.

“Okay, boys, let’s get this haul unloaded and inside.” Negan said, now back to being the boss, Lexa noted. “I want to get back in there and unload a little myself.”

The driver of the truck stepped out.

“Negan, need to talk to you about redirect.” He said.

“What about the redirect?” Negan replied, walking towards the man, annoyed.

“It got screwed up. We’re on it now, but it’s a mess out there.” The man continued.

“And whose job was that?” Negan towered over him.

Lexa rolled her eyes, nothing ever seemed to go plan lately.

One of the men began unloading the truck, Lexa could hear him complaining about the state of the contents. She hoped the bottles were still intact. Another man hopped up onto the inside of the truck and Lexa was getting ready to walk down to see if she could help out when she heard the sound of glass shattering on the inside – there goes the intact bottles, she thought. Just as she jumped down from the dock there was machine gun fire coming from inside the truck. One of the men jumped from the back of the truck while the other fell over dead. Lexa dove to the ground, smashing her knee on a rock, but ignored the pain and back up into a corner under the dock.

“Stay back!” Came a young voice, “Drop your weapons.”

Lexa looked up at the back of the truck and holding an assault rifle was none other than Rick’s kid, Carl.

‘Knew that kid had balls, but god damn.’ Lexa thought, wishing she could do more than just hide. All she had on her was her knife and you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.

“I only want Negan.” Carl continued. “He killed my friends. No one else needs to die.” He swept his weapon across the men around him.

Negan began whistling and Lexa’s heart skipped a beat, she was glad he was still nearby to contain the situation. He walked over and weaved his way through the crowd of Saviors at the back of the truck.

“Damn.” He said impressed, “You are adorable.” He grabbed a random Savior and pulled him in front of himself like a human shield.

“Did you pick that gun ‘cause it looks cool?” Negan mocked. “You totally did, right? Kid, I ain’t gonna lie – you scare the shit out of me.”

One of the guys nearest Carl tried to make a grab for the gun, causing him to pull the trigger. Luckily Dwight managed to successfully tackle the kid to the ground while he was distracted, putting the gun to Carl’s head.

“Dwight.” Negan called out. “Back off.”

Dwight took the knife off of Carl’s belt as Negan approached, holding out his hand.

“Is that any way to treat our new guest? Come on kid, I’ll show you around.”

Carl didn’t say anything and just stared up at Negan. Lexa stood up, leaning on the side of the dock to take the pressure off of her knee. She could feel some blood dripping down her leg but she knew it wasn’t that bad, she’d had worse. Negan spotted the movement out of the corner of his eye and glanced up at her. Lexa could see his expression change slightly but she wasn’t sure what it was.

Negan’s attention was brought back to Carl.

“You know, you do the same damn stink-eye as your dad, except it’s only half as good ‘cause…well, you know, you’re…” Negan gestured to his eye, “…missing an eye.” Negan chuckled.

Carl continued to ignore Negan’s hand.

“Really? You’re really not gonna take my hand? ‘Cause you’re lucky you still even _have_ a hand. Same as your boy Daryl over here, now that I think about it.”

Lexa glanced over to the gate where Negan was staring to find Daryl watching the situation unfold.

“How’s the job going, Daryl?” Negan taunted. “Hot enough for you? Yeah, it’d be tough with one arm.”

Negan extended his hand once more towards Carl who reluctantly accepted.

“Ah, smart kid.” Negan said, pulling him up off the ground. “Now, come with me.”

Negan turned towards Dwight, asking him to take Daryl and get some food from the kitchen. He then turned his attention to the remaining Saviors.

“New plan, boys. Let’s burn the dead, unload the truck later.” Negan let out a huff. “Damn, I am not gonna have time to screw any of my wives today.” He glanced back at Dwight, “I mean, maybe one.”

Lexa ignored the annoyance she felt at that statement and started limping off towards the stairs nearby and made her way to the clinic.

/////

Lexa was sitting in her new chair in her room. The bottle of scotch that Simon had given her was sitting on the floor next to her, half empty. Her vision blurry, she found herself rereading the same sentence over and over again as she remembered what had happened only hours ago.

When she got to the clinic, Dr. Carson had told her there was no major damage but that she shouldn’t do anything strenuous with her left leg any time soon until the swelling had gone down. Her knee was now wrapped up and she had a limp but she’d deal with it. This wouldn’t be too much of a problem since she was just slated for guard duty for the rest of the week. Lexa had run Negan showing Carl around the corridors as she made her way back to her room. She and Negan made eye contact for a brief moment before his eyes glanced down to the source of her limping. If he wanted to stop to help her she couldn’t tell, he was in show-boat mode for Carl.

Lexa had made it to her room fine but she could feel the key Negan had given her burning a hole in her pocket.

‘ _It wouldn’t hurt to just check the room out, right?_ ’ She asked herself.

She managed to get herself up the flight of stairs to the floor above hers. She pulled the key out of her pocket and looked at the room number engraved into it. Searching the hall, she noticed that it was directly across from the wives’ parlor room.

‘ _Subtle, Negan, real subtle._ ’ Lexa rolled her eyes with a smile.

She unlocked the door and opened it slowly. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, her eyes widened at the sight before her. The room was much larger than her current one and it was already furnished with nicer items than what she had been able to acquire. There was a queen sized bed on the opposite side of the room with what looked like the world’s fluffiest pillows laid on top. There was an ornate table set and a matching bedroom set including a vanity. The color scheme for the room was black and gold, very modern looking. She could see out the windows on the other side of the room and there was a beautiful view of the trees outside the Sanctuary. She almost wanted to move in without thinking about it.

Lexa was about to check out what she assumed was either a door that led to a bathroom or a closet when she heard Negan outside the door. It was muffled so she assumed he was across the hall and in the parlor. Lexa made her way to the door. She grabbed the handle but halted before turning it. The last thing she wanted was having Negan see her leaving the room and think she had made up her mind, or, have one of the wives she her leave it and have them ask questions. She could just barely hear him with her ear pressed against the door but she couldn’t make out what he was saying.  After a few minutes it had seemed like Negan might have left as she couldn’t hear anything anymore. She cracked open the door and as she took a step out, Dwight and Daryl had just passed her door, barely missing her exit. They stopped in the doorway of the parlor and Lexa couldn’t help but look into the room from behind them to see what had stopped them.

Lexa felt her stomach knot.

Negan was kissing Sherry, his finger up, telling the two to wait. As they separated, Sherry looked over first, her face deflating at the sight of Dwight before she turned away. Negan glanced over smugly and his eyes seemed to skip over the two and found Lexa’s. She saw his face drop for a moment before turning his gaze to Dwight with a smug smile. Lexa could tell it was all forced though. She walked off quietly, not wanting to grab anyone else’s attention. She could feel Negan watching her until she disappeared beyond his view. She ignored the pain in her knee as she made her way quickly down the stairs and into her room. She slammed the door behind her and locked it, throwing the key to the upstairs room on her dresser but it bounced off onto the floor. Lexa just stared at it, her vision going blurry as her eyes began to water.

“Don’t you fucking cry, bitch.” She said to herself.

She stepped over the key and grabbed the bottle of scotch that Simon had given her and picked up the book from her bed-side table and headed to her new chair. Slumping down into the cushion, she quickly opened the bottle and went to work.

“Platonic.” She repeated between each sip. “It’s totally platonic.”

/////

Lexa must have dozed off as she was startled awake by a voice coming from the walkie-talkie on the other side of the room. It was Simon calling everyone to the head to the garage to view the punishment that was about to take place.

Lexa leaned her head back against the chair. She didn’t currently have a hangover so she figured not much time had passed – that and the sun was still out. She managed to get herself out of her chair on the first attempt. If there was one thing she knew, it was that she was at least a coordinated drunk. She also knew she easily got annoyed when drunk and she hoped she wouldn’t actually see _him_ more than she had to.

She grabbed her stuff and headed down towards the garage. After grumbling her way through the crowd to a good vantage point off to the side, Lexa waited for the show to begin. She could see Mark sitting in a chair in the center, shaking and crying. Dwight was poking the coals in the furnace as Negan announced his presence by banging Lucille on the railing above. Lexa got more annoyed with each hit as it rang through her head. Everyone began getting down on their knees, Lexa did as well, mumbling under her breath.

“You know the deal.” Negan spoke over the crowd. “What’s about to happen is gonna be hard to watch. I don’t want to do it. I wish I could ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can’t.” Negan paused. “Why?”

Everyone spoke up.

“The rules keep us alive.” They said in unison. Lexa said it with an attitude, though.

Negan made his way down the stairs.

“That is right.” He said slowly. “We survive. We provide security to others. We bring civilization back to this world. We are the Saviors. But we can’t do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work. I know it’s not easy. But there’s always work. There is always a cost. Here, if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner…” Negan yelled out, causing Mark to begin crying again. “…then it is the iron for you.”

Negan paused, looking over everyone.

“On your feet.” He ordered, making his way down to the floor.

Lexa stepped away as Negan made his way towards her. She kept her gaze away from his but she could feel his on her as he went by. She looked up as he passed and watched him walk away, Carl trailing behind him holding Lucille. Negan asked Dwight for the iron as he put on the protective glove.

“Mark,” Negan said, holding the iron, “I’m sorry. But it is what it is.”

Lexa spotted Sherry going to comfort one of the other wives who was crying. Lexa couldn’t remember all of their names but she knew it started with an “A” at least. Negan stepped towards Mark, not giving him a moment to prepare before pressing the iron on his face. Lexa didn’t look away, this wasn’t the first time she had seen this punishment before, but she attributed her steady gaze to the scotch in her system instead of her simply becoming immune to the harshness. Eventually Mark passed out and Negan finally pulled the iron away along with the melted skin. Negan let out a laugh.

“Ah, that wasn’t so bad now, was it?” He handed the iron back to Dwight before turning back around. “Jesus. He pissed himself.”

Negan walked over to Daryl and whispered something to him that Lexa couldn’t hear but she guessed what it was when Daryl started mopping up.

“Doc,” Negan called out to Dr. Carson, “I’m all done. Do your thing.”

Lexa groaned inwardly as Negan continued talking.

“Well, the pussy passed out. But it’s settled – we’re square. Everything is cool. Let Mark’s face be a daily reminder to him and to everyone else that the rules matter. I hope that we all learned something today. Because I don’t ever want to have to do that again.”

Negan walked over to Carl, who was standing near Lexa, and whispered into his ear. He placed an arm around his shoulder and led the kid out the door. As he passed Lexa again, her eyes met his but when she glared at him he looked away quickly. As soon as he was out the door everyone in the room began filing out.

Lexa went out to the yard and found a bench near the community garden plot. She hoped the fresh air and sunshine would help ease the headache that was beginning to form. She zoned out as she watched the dead ones on the outside of the fence for what felt like forever but had only been about an hour when she got a call on her radio.  

“ _Any Saviors at the Sanctuary who aren’t scheduled for any runs this week, head to your vehicles. We’re going to Alexandria.”_ Lexa could hear the smile in Negan’s voice.

Lexa lightly dropped her head onto the table. She was beginning to regret drinking her birthday gift so soon. By the time she made it to the garage and grabbed a bottle of water from a supply box and strapped a gun to her belt, most of the vehicles had already left. Simon was standing near his truck, seemingly waiting for her.

“Took you long enough.” Simon said, there wasn’t any actual annoyance behind it though. “You look like shit.”

Lexa glared up at him.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said with actual annoyance as she hopped into his truck.

As Simon started up the truck and they began making their way towards Alexandria, Lexa found herself falling asleep in the passenger seat, an image of Negan and Sherry seared into her brain.

This was going to be a long trip.


End file.
